EA sings a Christmas carol, officially ruins the holidays

I realize that my criticism of EA’s business practices may come across as overzealous at times, but even the most dedicated of the publisher’s defenders can’t possibly stick up for this video — perhaps the greatest crime Electronic Arts has ever committed. 

As spotted by VG247, some Christmas carolers sing “Jingle Bells” but with the lyrics hilaaaaaariously replaced by gamer slang. Slang that is used with no context and hasn’t even been vaguely retooled to sound like it could be Christmassy. How the Hell do you get “You’re Nothing But A Punk” from “Jingle Bells” anyway? In any case, I think I didn’t even make it past the minute mark without needing to cough up blood.

EA, why did you have to ruin Christmas as well?