Devolver Digital is one of my favorite companies, mostly due to the fact that it never takes itself or what it does too seriously. CFO Fork Parker is well worth following on Twitter, and the publisher generally has a positive attitude all round. It also responds to jokes I make and turns them into real things, like when I suggested developers could interview me for their blogs during E3 and Parker accepted the invitation.
Fork has turned the joke into a potentially running feature, Five Sexy Questions, where it will ask exactly what it advertises to “game industry illuminati.” Your humble author was the first to be asked, and I think it is the most insightful interview that has ever been had on the subject of games.
That said, one of my answers did not clear Devolver’s legal department and had to be redacted. Luckily, Destructoid’s legal department is usually hitting the cocaine this time of day, so I should be able to get away with it here. My answer to question three can be seen below.
Five Sexy Questions with Fork Parker [Devolver Digital]
3) You’ve been quoted as saying that “today’s Japanese game developers are sexually powerful and deserve our unwavering submission.” Can you clarify what you meant by that statement?
I’ll give you an example that ought to provide a little more context. Shigeru Miyamoto, as an example, may be small in stature, but his raw physical strength is something that could overpower even a top-billing wrestler such as Doink the Clown or The American Dollars Man Ted DiBiase. It is a strength that he, in a behind-closed-doors meeting, is not shy about using, either. Not in an illegal way. He has ways of making you want it, without realizing what you’re asking for. Ways I don’t quite understand. He can … show you things. Things that, when seen, will open your mind just long enough to let the forbidden knowledge in. And when your mind closes, that knowledge is not going away. It’s in you now. Shigeru is in you. And he’s never leaving. It’s like an arrowhead. If you try to pull it out, it’ll tear at your flesh with cruel barbs. It’ll just stay, and fester, and end you as a person. And it’s coming for us all. Better we crook the knee now than die screaming on our feet. Screaming and knowing. Always … knowing.
