Guys, I’d love to spend an hour crafting a deep, engaging story about why my hair hurts this week, but honestly I’m too absorbed in Assassin’s Creed to give this whole thing much thought. One of the true joys of a gig like this is that instead of half-assing your work because you’re fictionally sick, you can just honestly say “I’m half-assing things because I have to go run across a series of rooftops, dive into a bale of hay, then emerge to stab an Arabic warlord in the neck.”
The only way the game could be better if it was actually an adaptation of Léon. As much as I’ve always been a vocal opponent of pedophilia, nothing goes better with wholesale slaughter than sexual tension with a 12-year-old Natalie Portman (double points if she’s covered in grime). I’ve been e-mailing Ubisoft daily with my plot ideas for Assassin’s Creed 2, but after I sent the storyboards for the, uh, “romantic interlude”, I think they got a little creeped out.
I never should have included that duck …
Whoever decided to put a tilde over the “n” in the word Piñata is a dick.
Hamza “CTZ” Aziz:
Been catching up on Halo 3 on Live. I’m so erectionally happy that my 360 is back!
Topher Cantler:
I’ve been switching the bad English voice acting back to the original Japanese track in Eternal Sonata (<3 to Lauren), then playing Super Mario Galaxy, Contra 4, and I would be playing some Rock Band if Nick’s review copy wasn’t oh-so very late.
Jim Sterling:
As predicted it hasn’t changed from last week. I have completed the single player of CoD4, beaten Portal and crowbarred my way through Half-Life 2 and Episode One. Still fighting through Bladestorm: The 100 Years War and Dynasty Warriors Gundam.
BlindsideDork:
Shooting some zombies in Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles mostly. I can’t wait to try out Half Life 2: Episode 2. Of course, the usual Picross DS has been thrown in the mix but I haven’t picked up Dementium: The Ward in awhile since the hiccup that is the save feature.
Nick Chester:
This week, I played quite a bit of Rock Band, before picking up Assassin’s Creed and Super Mario Galaxy. I also have Blacksite: Area 51, Neves (DS), and Aqua Teen Hunger Force Zombie Ninja Pro-AM in my back pocket. Times are tough.
Faith:
I’ve been playing Brain Age and Dragon Quest Monster: Joker on my Nintendo DS. This game is such a Pokémon rip off.
I’ve also been playing Shrek and Roll and Puzzle Quest on XBLA. I played the demo of Overlord and now I totally want this game.
On my Wii, I’ve been playing Boogie and EA Playground. I hope to pick up Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles today too.
Dale North:
The nonconformist in me wants to loudly say that I’m playing anything that doesn’t have a plastic guitar in it, but I know there’s some big fans around these parts, so I’ll stop here. Like a true G (geek), I’m still playing Jeanne D’Arc and Persona 3, and Phantom Hourglass has just made its way into my rotation.
Colette Bennett:
Lifesigns, Ontamarama, Puyo Puyo 15th Anniversary and Super Mario Galaxy. While all the games are good, Galaxy is an actual delight to play. I can’t remember the last time I laughed out loud in delight when playing a game. It’s wonderful.
Nex:
I’m falling in love with my PSP (Slim) all over again. As much as I ragged on it for months over the lack of software, it’s finally catching up to the DS. Between Dracula X Chronicles (which I just completed), Metal Gear Solid Portable Ops Plus, the insanely underrated MegaMan: Powered Up ($10!!) and Disgaea: Afternoon of Darkness, I’ve spent a lot of time this week wondering how I could turn it into a woman for procreation.
Also, despite Rev’s review, I picked up Assassin’s Creed yesterday. It’s got minor technical flaws, but otherwise that was the best 60 bones I’ve spent since Guitar Hero III. Take the open-world freedom of Grand Theft Auto, the joy of merely running and jumping found in Crackdown, and the fun in methodical killing found in Hitman, wrap it all in a trés original double-plot line exploring the Crusades and Futuristic morality, and you’ve got a game that I’m going to be playing for months.
Almost forgot, I also played Rock Band, Mario Galaxy and Contra 4, but those apparently didn’t warrant a mention.
Leigh Alexander:
Aside from just starting Fire Emblem, lazy Leigh has had a strictly portable week — still smashing my head against Dracula X on the PSP, just started Ys: Ark of Napishtim, and am also playing Phantom Hourglass still. There’s a ton of things I wish I was playing, but despite being a FAMOUS INDUSTRY TASTEMAKER who has a legion of orphans bringing me truffles and petits fours on gilded plates just so they can hear what I think of video games or perhaps to beg for their freedom, I mysteriously did not receive review copies of almost anything good in the past few weeks.
Chad Concelmo:
I have played nothing else besides Super Mario Galaxy. I even have the sexy Contra 4 sitting on my nightstand, but I have denied its passionate company for more time with my new favorite Wii game. In fact, this may be the only “Games of the Week” where I will ever be able to talk about Galaxy, so I don’t want to waste a single line of text: SUPER MARIO GALAXY IS ONE OF THE BEST GAMES I HAVE PLAYED IN YEARS! IT IS INCREDIBLE! I LOVE IT MORE THAN DOLPHINS!
Brad Rice:
Silent Hill Origins, bitches. My PSP is getting plenty of love between that, Disgaea: Afternoon of Darkness, and Jeanne D’Arc. I really need to stop buying tactics RPGs — I’m never going to have a life otherwise.
Oh, some shit called Galaxy came out, right? Nah, didn’t touch that.
Ron Workman:
Catan, 99 Nights, take pictures of Nex through the window that he thinks has good blinds, and Viva Piñata:Party Animals.
Tristero:
As much as I appreciate our beloved David’s parting gift to me of Cliff Notes to the Half-Life universe, the instant Super Mario Galaxy came out, I dropped Alyx like yesterday’s dirty laundry. I knew I wouldn’t need anything else besides Mario the moment I heard Charles Martinet screech out the title from the Wii menu. Does anyone else think it sounds like he’s been hitting a bit of the Juniper Jizz lately? Homeboy was most definitely crunk when he recorded that.
Dyson:
I’ve been playing Contra 4 DS for review, along with a whole lot of Super Mario Galaxy, which has seriously cut into my Contra 4 time (sorry Aaron!). I’ve been desperately hoping for some free time so I can download and play Blue’s Journey for the Virtual Console. Blue’s Journey holds a special place in my heart for being that one game that, if I had been an incredibly wealthy teenager, I would have bought a Neo Geo for.
Gameboi:
I’ve been toying around with CoD4 and Assassin’s Creed, but Super Mario Galaxy has flat out floored me. I’ve barely scratched the surface of the game, and it has wowed me in ways that I haven’t felt since Super Mario 64. It’s dreamy. If you somehow don’t manage to like this game, I have to call your taste into question.
How many of you went gay for Galaxy this week? My guess: all of you.
