Destructoid’s games of the week for 11/12/06: Destructoid is trampled by Elephant edition!

Destructoid is a lot of things; robot, lover, revolutionary, but if there is one thing it’s not, it’s not Elephant-proof.

Earlier this week we unleashed the beast, and it trampled on the hopes and dreams of our readers and editors alike. We fought long and hard into the night to get it back into shackles, and in the end, with 3 of our editor’s dead, we finally succeeded.

Brandishing torches and repurposed scythes, the locals wanted us to kill our baby, but we refused. We created him and it was our duty to protect him. Oh, Lord, what hath we wrought?

Aside from all of the moral turmoil, we also got a little gameplay in. Hit the jump for details and pray for our eternal souls.

Niero: I am all about Elite Beat Agents right now. Yes, you have to stomach some Avril Lavigne as you work your way through it, but it’s comedy gold. In the first stage some 17 year old babysitter’s boy lust forces a hot dog into a child’s mouth by hurling it like a football to shut her up. In the next level a film producer is making Meowzilla complete with giant mechanical foot. The game plays a lot like Cool Cool Toon on the Dreamcast, which I loved. I’m without next-gen systems but I’m happy and preoccupied.

Ishaan: Sadly, the only thing I’ve been “playing” with this week is my Media Player. Honestly, since I started writing for Dtoid and Japanator, I’ve had zero time for actual games themselves.

I went through four different anime series so I could do First Impressions on Japanator, then watched a fifth show only to realize someone else had already taken it … all this while updating Dtoid as often as I can and trying to get college work and some personal projects done at the same time.

My social life has totally taken it in the ass this past month … which is why I’m glad Nex is as big a loser as me.

RevAnthony: I just beat Guitar Hero II on expert about ten minutes ago, so I’m more or less done with it until my Guitar Hero-loving friends get home (or until someone challenges me to a duel over the interweb). I’ll be replaying Gears of War, the best and least innovative game I’ve played all year, on insane difficulty, and I’ll try to beat my rented copy of Yakuza in a week.

Fronz: I just finished up midterms so I didn’t game much at all. A little bit of Halo 2 online and some pretty boring time in Oblivion. I played Guitar Hero II at a friends place and loved it. As soon as my paycheck comes this week I’m treating myself to Gears of War, Guitar Hero 2, and Call of Duty 3.

backflip10019: I’m completely swamped with work right now and really won’t get much time for the old 360 this week. And, nope, I haven’t even picked up Gears of War yet; if I picked this up this week, I would definitely flunk out of school.

Nex: I’ve been totally addicted to Elite Beat Agents all week. It combines fast-paced rhythm goodness with totally bizarro, wacky-as-fuck Japanese craziness. Just like Niero said, the missions are totally nuts, and the plot is way out there, but it’s hilarious when youre in the middle of it, and the gameplay is  as solid as Christ’s abs. 

DickMcVengeance: Went through Guitar Hero II on medium, but I’m not quite skilled enough to play hard. I know, I am “teh suck”. Other than that, I’ve just one more stage to go before beating God Hand. Also a friend lent me Jump Super Stars, which is a hell of a lot of fun, and I’ll probably be importing soon.

Grim: Gears of War baby! I beat the game on hardcore and finished Act I on insane mode so far. I’ve played about 15 online matches and found out a couple of things. First off, it is really easy to get on a team with noobs who don’t know that this isn’t Halo 2. Secondly, nothing is more satisfying than sneaking up behind an enemy player and chainsawing him.

Rob Summa: I’m fucking swamped, here’s what I have been playing and will be playing this week: Elite Beat Agents, Vice City Stories, Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess, Excite Truck, Wii Sports, Gears of War and anything else I may get this week.

I have a feeling I will never sleep again.

Kayka: I just got my hands on Splinter Cell: Double Agent and I’ve finished the tutorial. It looks great so far. I’m also still playing UT 2004 and I’m still pwning everyone on Face Classic.

 

We’ll be wrestling with this beast for years to come, but the greater threat comes from the darkness it has unleashed in our souls. We fear we may have to take our own lives and that of The Monster. Such a world doesn’t deserve such innocence, and such innocence does not deserve such hatred. Oh, by the way, what have you been playing this week?

Earnest Cavalli
I'm Nex. I used to work here but my love of cash led me to take a gig with Wired. I still keep an eye on the 'toid, but to see what I'm really up to, you should either hit up my Vox or go have a look at the Wired media empire.