Destructoid’s games of the week for 11/11/2007: I love egg, hate kids edition!

After last night’s drinking/Guitar-Heroing/Ground-Kontrolling escapades, I have absolutely no energy to entertain you people. So in my stead, I’m going to rely on those kindly Koreans to do it for me. After showing this video to the PDX DToid boys last night, and realizing none of them had seen it, it came to my attention I really need to start showing this to everyone I know, constantly, and possibly while wearing anachronistic hats.

As such, I present: I Love Egg.

(Note: We expect you teen boys to somehow find this offensive to your tenuous grasp on your sexuality, but repeating “zomg gay” or “old x is old” is just so passé and most of all, not funny. We understand the evolutionary triggers that make you would-be alpha males lash out at things you don’t understand or figures of authority, but you do realize it doesn’t actually impress the opposite sex, right? There will come a point when you’ll be angry that women your age are all dating older men, and you’ll have no one to blame but yourself … well, and your parents’ genetics for cursing you with such a pliable bone structure and eyes that look like puddles of milk on a linoleum counter. — Nex) 

Colette Bennett:
Portal, We Love Katamari, Shadowgate, Dementium: The Ward, Puyo Puyo 15th Anniversary and The Witcher.

Ron Workman:

Battlefield:Bad Company is F%&king amazing!!! Viva Pinata Party Animals is good. It pains me to say it but I like this one too dammit. I still haven’t got past 99 nights. I just like this game a ton and I know it’s by no means an amazing game. When it came out I thought it was over-hyped but it hasn’t stopped growing on me. Me and Husky rubbed wieners at camp while Linde took pictures. I actually played Guitar Hero 3 (1 game) Halo 3, Jerked off into a cup, and Ace Combat 6 all on the 360. Niero got me to play “Racial Stereotypeland” or Def Jam Icon, same thing, on the BS3.


I’ve been playing Front Mission, Dragon Quest Monster: Joker, The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass and Brain Age for the DS. Puzzle Quest on Xbox 360. My Sims, Boogie and EA Playground on Wii.

Boogie is a weird game. I sound like cats screaming when I sing and yet I’m still getting gold on each karaoke session. I love dancing with it though. My Sims is a great game and I love making furniture with the sweet, sweet essence of video games. Mmmm … video games.

Aaron Linde:
Super Mario Galaxy. Holy balls.

(Editor’s Note: Little known fact: “Holy balls” was the same exclamation used by John Cabot upon discovering Newfoundland. — Professor Nex)

Dale North:
Every time I pick up Persona 3 I like it more, and I loved it from the first session. Needless to say, I’m so attached that I hope it won’t end. From what others are telling me, I have quite a bit more time to live in this bliss.

Topher Cantler:
I’m a little disappointed with Wartech: Senko No Ronde, but for ten bucks it’s solid enough. The emptiness left me hungry for whatever other danmaku games I could find lying around like Chaos Field and Castle Shikigami. I’m also pretty surprised to find myself enjoying Switchball on XBLA.

Chad Concelmo:
You know all those old cartoons, the ones where two characters are stranded on a desert island and one sees the other as a giant leg of lamb or something? That has been me this whole week as a result of my hunger for Super Mario Galaxy . My dog has become a goomba, my shower head a giant question mark block. Luckily, I had another amazing Wii game, Zack & Wiki: Quest for Barbaros’ Treasure, to hold me over. Now, back to stomping on my ottoman koopa troopa.

(Editor’s Note: California is being immolated and Chad is busy stomping the hell out of furniture. This is exactly why L.A. eventually floats into the ocean and becomes a prison colony. — Nex Plissken)

I just can’t seem to get enough of Team Fortress 2 and Picross DS.

Dick McVengeance:
Disgaea: Afternoon of Darkness has been a major timesink for me, and when not blasting away on that, I’m also getting in a bit of Scurge: Hive.

Leigh Alexander:
Dracula X and Phantom Hourglass. I haven’t had, like, any time this week.

Games, games, games … Call of Duty 4 (which will, if I have any say, usurp Halo 3’s spot for FNF), Final Fantasy Tactics PSP, Virtua Fighter 5 Online, Guitar Hero’s 2 & 3 and every arcade game in this city with the PDX DToid readership.

And, of course, the reason why I bought a new PSP: Castlevania Dracula X Chronicles. For $30, you get 3 (technically 4) gigantic Castlevania games that comprise the number two through number four slot in the heirarchy of Castlevania title quality. There’s something about IGA’s take on vampire slaying (especially when it’s horribly goofy as in the original Rondo) that makes my inner woman moist and my inner dachshund happy enough to skitter across a wood floor and pee a little on the way. 

(Editor’s Note: Nex skipped analogy class to flirt with girls’ soccer players and to huff glue in the quad. — The Other Nex)

(Editor’s Note Note: I’m kinda hoping that commenting on my own habits and taking shots at myself doesn’t rend the fabric of time and space … if you guys see any singularities or headless, three-legged dogs, run. — Nex Ph.D, Theoretical Physics, MIT) 


While wishing I could secure a copy of Super Mario Galaxy before the street date, I’ve been consoling myself with Burnout Revenge (still), Portal, and Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. It’s been a great week 🙂

I played Prey, which was an above-average, but not quite there shooter title for the 360. It had a lot of unique aspects like Portal-esque boxes to crawl through, rooms with switching centers of gravity, and entertainingly grotesque alien guns. The whole technologically advanced alien society committing genocide against American Indians motif definitely sat uneasy with me. It’s heart is in the right place, but it comes off so awkwardly by relying on the same old stereotypes of Indians as “spiritually advanced” people. Nice stab at post-colonialism though, 3D Realms. Maybe next time.

(Editor’s Note: For those playing along at home, thats minus one point for 3D Realms, and plus one point for the solitary tear running down Tristero’s face. — Chief Running Nex)

Jim Sterling:
I’ve been busy with many games, and I expect this list of titles to remain unchanged when we do this next week. Firstly, I’ve been sampling the delights of The Orange Box, becoming absorbed in Half-Life 2, lost in Portal and … trying two incomplete games of Team Fortress 2.

Next up, my review copies of Bladestorm and Dynasty Warriors Gundam finally arrived, so I’ve been battling through medieval and robotic forces. Expect reviews soon.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, I merrily traded in the awful Conan for the sublime Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. As someone not known for their multiplayer leanings, I’ve been sucked right into the online mode for this. Was rocking team deathmatch with some Destructoiders last night — let’s keep doing that.

It was a total blast playing Call of Duty 4 with Jim and the other Dtoiders on Friday night. Single-player was a little on the short side, but 99.9% of it was non-stop fun. Forget Halo 3, CoD4 is the next big multiplayer game in my eyes.

Nick Chester:

Been playing: Conan (Xbox 360), FlatOut: Ultimate Carnage (360), Puzzle Quest (XBLA), Dementium (DS), and Castlevania: Dracula X (PSP). I have to get all of this stuff finished, because next week I’ve got Rock Band, Assassin’s Creed, and Super Mario Galaxy on my agenda.

I love November.

Huzzah! I just finished about three solid hours of Super Mario Galaxy and I was loving it! I borrowed a copy from an industry friend just to make sure that  it will be worth the dent that it will make to my wallet and, my oh my, this game is fun. Must get!

Now for the rest of the week, I’ve been playing more Zack and Wiki, along with a new game: Guitar Hero 3 (Xbox 360). Z&W is still enjoyable as all get out, but GH3 is pissing me off like nothing else. Who the fuck thought it would be a good idea to put boss battles in this game? Total fucking bullshit, I say. Go buy Rock Band instead.

Oh, and I finally finished BioShock. I got the “good” ending by not harvesting any of the Little Sisters, although, it was pretty tempting to crack one of their skulls open and drink deep from their well of Adam. I know that you understand.

(Editor’s Note: Dude … that’s terrible. They’re just little girls! According to the ending they all have wonderful futures ahead of them filled with college, marriage and holding the hands of sick people! — Sympathetic Nex) 

Now it’s your turn. What did you play this week? Don’t screw up or we’re sending the baboons after you! 

Earnest Cavalli
I'm Nex. I used to work here but my love of cash led me to take a gig with Wired. I still keep an eye on the 'toid, but to see what I'm really up to, you should either hit up my Vox or go have a look at the Wired media empire.