Destructoid’s games of the week for 09/30/07: Feebas, I hate you edition!

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My addiction to the latest iteration of the Pokémon franchise is no secret. After all, I woke up this morning at a vaguely reasonable hour intent upon spending time in line with unwashed children, their even more unwashed parents and teens who I’m almost positive have only heard the term ‘wash’ in fairy tales and on the backs of well-written Bazooka Joe gum wrappers.

As much as I love the game, certain aspects of it completely frustrate me. For instance, the life-cycle of the Feebas — or as the Native Americans called it ‘Butter Face Fish’. This fish, unlike most Pokémon, has an evolution entirely dependent on how pretty it is. While your average Charmander or Bulbasaur can evolve into a more powerful creature as it gains experience — the virtual equivalent of aging — the life-cycle of the Feebas is tantamount to a caterpillar that can only become a deadly moth once it has covered itself in rouge and lead-based cosmetics.

I realize that decrying the lack of realism in a video game about capturing monsters, stuffing them in balls and somehow learning life lessons from the entire experience is sort of silly, but my weekly soapbox consist of at least 15% silly. The other 85% is a hearty stew of lies, half-truths and boiled potatoes the likes of which would make an Irishman cry.

In closing, I hate you Feebas. I hate you and all of your unattractive aquatic friends!

I swear, this is the only time I’ll dedicate an entire one of these to a fictional creature. Also, please don’t hold me to that promise.

We play games: 

Ron Workman:
1 words, Poon Tang! This message has been paid for by Jesus Christ and the Church of Latter Day Saints. Oh, and Halo 3 and Tron on XBLA.

Jim Sterling:
I know it’s cliche’ and annoying to do these “state activities as if they were games” things, but I’m going to do it anyway — I’ve been playing Going Back to England and Feeling Utterly Miserable. The Sense of Loss physics rule, and the whole Pang of Familiar Agony as One Stands Waiting for a Bus for Twenty Minutes in Lewisham level is an old favorite.

Anyway, today is the day I came back to my lonely and rancid shack, so I tried escaping to some real games — mostly Sonic 2 and Marble Blast Ultra. Anyway, I’m going back to cutting myself and crying into my Linkin Park LPs.

Leigh Alexander:
It’s been the Rune Factory channel on Planet Leigh, still. Every time I get a new Harvest Moon game, like, that’s it, for at least a few weeks. I can actually feel my butt getting bigger from all the time spent lying around with my DS instead of, like, y’know, going outdoors and stuff.

In between the standard Pokémon Diamond and World of Warcraft, I’ve been wrapping up BioShock, The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass and Wartech: Senko no Ronde. I’ve also been putting in some time with surprise favorite Wordjong, Team Fortress 2, and of course Halo 3.

I also spent an entire day at Seattle’s Gameworks enjoying the addictive joy of the full sized Taiko Drum Master cabinet. As much as I like to think I’m amazing at everything there’s something truly depressing about realizing that your insanely attractive ex-girlfriend — who has never before touched Taiko — is an tremendously talented drummer who probably broke up with me entirely based on my inability to keep up with her surreal drumming skills.

Ah well, at least I still have fantastic skin …

Colette Bennett:
Still hacking away at Eternal Sonata, interspersed with bouts of Warioware for DS and the Jericho demo. Also had the pleasure of 5 person Bomberman last night with five people dressed as Mr. Destructoid. If I had a dick it would have been stiff as hell, let me tell you.

David Houghton:
Can you believe I’m playing through Half-Life 2 properly for the first time? I didn’t have a decent PC to run it on when it came out so I’ve only played it in bits and bobs until now. It’s every bit as good as I hoped though. Near perfect in fact. I’m also just about to start on the Jericho demo. I’ve played quite a bit of it already at previews, but I’ve been dying to get my hands on it with PC controls for ages.


I’m in the same boat as David; I just now started playing Half-Life 2 and I’m loving every minute of it. Other games that I’ve enjoyed this week include Team Fortress 2, Peggle Extreme (no, really), and the Jericho demo.

Dale North:
I’m just getting into Eternal Sonata while still making my way through Persona 3. The rest of the time is spent with BioShock, which I’m still savoring.

Dick McVengeance:
Naruto: Uzumaki Chroncles 2 is…unbelievable? Besides that, I’m busy touching witches and I’ll start digging into Soul Nomad and the World Eaters and Mother 3.

Nick Chester:
Halo 3, of course. What else would I be playing? Well, that and Madden NFL 2008.

Picross DS owns my soul like no other … oh and Halo 3 is annoying me.

Aaron Linde:
My life is dominated by the Ultimate Team-Up of Time Consumption: Zelda: Phantom Hourglass, Eternal Sonata, and Halo 3. It’s a good thing I don’t like leaving the house!

Topher Cantler:
On Niero’s own reccomendation, I’ve been playing Bird Week for the NES, which has taught me that squirrels are evil, filthy creatures. There’s also nothing quite like Bomberman Live with 8 DToid helmets, and I spread the rest of my time out over Forza 2, Alien Hominid, and just about anything that isn’t Halo.

Halo 3 has taken up most of my gaming time, but it was Stranglehold before that. While I’m still enjoying Master Chief’s adventure, Inspector Tequila’s action was starting to wear a little thin on me. Loved it at first, but my affection for it is growing dim. Look for it on eBay after I finish the single-player. Will somebody please give me another Max Payne game? I miss him so.

I’ve been playing BioShock — still — and Blue Dragon which I found has Poo Crabs too. I’ve been playing Carcassonne and Catan on Xbox Live.  On my Nintendo DS, I’m still working on getting smarter with Brain Age.

Best of all, I’m not playing Halo 3!


Wow, I’m playing again!

Chad Concelmo:
While everyone was waiting in line late Monday night for tickets to see Hannah Montana in concert, I … oh, they were waiting for Halo 3? Sorry.

Well, while everyone was waiting in line Monday night for Halo 3 (wishing they were in line for tickets to see Hannah Montana), Topher and I played some coop Contra and Super Contra on Xbox Live Arcade. And that made me very happy. In addition, I also played some Kameo: Elements of Power, Gradius III, more of The Legend of the Mystical Ninja, and Cars. Yes, Cars. Don’t make fun of me. I am going to get to Halo 3 soon though, I promise.

Hamsa “CTZ” Aziz:
I finally picked up a Xbox 360 and got myself the Legendary edition of Halo 3 (Only cost me $80, HAH!). I also played Crysis for over 5 hours straight at a event on a battle cruiser. I’ll have impressions of the game up Friday.

I also bought a swanky new Xbox 360 (all for myself to the register lady at Best Buys surprise) and was given a PSP from a very generous friend of mine.  All in one week!  Joy for two shiny new systems!  Between long, candle-lit sessions of nuzzling and curling up next to the fire with my new consoles, I’ve finally been able to play BioShock while having the additional pleasure of dabbling in Rez for the first time.

I’ve been painting the town blue with my crazy cult friends in Happy Happy Village on my billionth play through of Earthbound. I’m anxious to hear Brad’s thoughts on Mother 3. My Japanese is currently rustier than an old trombone, so I’m still waiting — probably in vain — for an English version.

On the side, I joined in on some of the most exciting Bomberman Live matches of my life. Did anyone else feel extra pressure for their performance while wearing the Destructoid costume? Oh, and Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo HD Remix rules! The definitive version of the game as far as I’m concerned.


And you? Do you also play games? What sorts of games? 

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Earnest Cavalli
I'm Nex. I used to work here but my love of cash led me to take a gig with Wired. I still keep an eye on the 'toid, but to see what I'm really up to, you should either hit up my Vox or go have a look at the Wired media empire.