Destructoid’s games of the week for 07/22/07: life is pain edition!

user: sXeAngleWing1991

current mood: histrionic
music: something corporate – punk rock princess

sometimes i just don’t know why i’m still here. i know it’s because i’m too young to actually leave, but i swear, as soon as i turn 18, i’m outta here. this town just doesn’t get me, y’know? it’s like sometimes i’m so creative that it actually hurts, and the hicks in this town just don’t get that. they can’t even look at my lip ring without sneering or trying to hide their children from reality. the reality of the real world. they don’t understand that there’s a world beyond their corn fields and proms and football games and i’m from that world. i am that world. and as soon as i graduate, i’m taking Mr. Whiskers and we’re going to just drive until we find a place where we fit in.

mom doesn’t even know that i’m still cutting. she just thinks i fall down a lot, and her stupid husband Dave won’t even look at me ever since i told mom he touches me. he doesn’t really, but it keeps him away from me, and one day i hope they arrest him for it. he doesn’t deserve to exist in a world with real people with all of his hangups and ideas about how girls my age are supposed to act. I HATE YOU DAVE! CAN’T YOU SEE THAT?!?

i have to stop now because Buffy’s coming on. sarah is coming over to watch it with me, and i’m hoping we get to kiss again. i’m not gay or anything gross like that, but i’m probably bi, and sarah’s sorta cute. plus, she’s the only girl in this town who understands how i feel. she’s not as creative as i am, but she’s kinda fat so she understands what it’s like to have people shun you because you’re different.

i love you. xoxoxo.

Being a teenage girl is hard but not as hard as being English. Jimmy Crack Corn starts off this week’s rundown of the games the editors have been playing:


Jim Sterling:
Recently I played a special game called Choose between the Leipzig Games Convention & seeing a very, very important friend this year. That was fun, like choosing between which leg to stab. This is what sucks about independant writing, kids, you have ‘real life’ issues like “work” dictating how many times you can skip country. Sigh. Anyway, other games include Hurling my controller because I’m crap at Bomberman, Sonic The Hedgehog and the closing chapters of Overlord which, if you’re still yet to play, go play it!

On the insistence of Ms. Alexander, I finally got around to playing through Metal Gear Solid 3. I’ve yet to see another game with this level of dense gameplay packed into every corner of it. As I remarked to the aforementioned lovely woman, there’s more depth in the first ten minutes of MGS3 than most other games have in their entire run-time. Two thumbs up. Fun for the whole family.

Leigh Alexander:
I’m still playing porn nightmare Yume Miru Kusuri on my PC. It’s really an odd one, in subtle ways. Aside from that? I’ve put like 15 hours this week into Persona 3, and when I’m not doing that I’ve just started playing Pokemon Pearl and I can’t wait to show everyone my pokemans. Also, Cookie & Cream DS.

Dick McVengeance:
I’ve been playing a bunch of Elite Beat Agents and realizing how much I really suck at it. While at Topher’s house (which he’s been so awesome as to put us up for this time at Otakon), I’ve been leeching off of his Bomberman Live, and cursing Grim and Husky. Feel free to go crawl into a hole and die, guys 🙂

David Houghton:
I’ve been playing the Leipzig sequel Getting Really Excited When Your Press Pass Arrives And Hoping That One Man Alone Can Tackle Such A Massive Games Festival. I’ve also partaken in daily bouts of Interview Transcription 2: Loud Pub Conversations Take Ages To Decypher Edition, along with Super Mario 64, Burnout Revenge on the 360, Marble Blast Ultra, and a bit of Pac-Man: CE. I’m planning a bit of a F.E.A.R.-fest tonight with Tempus at some point today too.

Colette Bennett:
I’ve picked up Chocobo Tales again and am really digging that. Also I am playing a game for PS2 called Ku-On which is like a horror version of Onimusha. Loving every minute of that!

Chad Concelmo:

It’s the Virtual Console and Xbox Live Arcade Week of Merriment!
Super Mario 64, Bomberman Live!, Paper Mario, Balloon Fight, Pac-Man Championship Edition!
Woo hoo! Puppies!

I just started playing Lost in Blue 2 and finished Cakemania for the DS. I’ve also gone back to playing Outpost Kaloki X trying to finish the missions with all gold medals.

I received a new game called Tao’s Adventure in the mail and plan to try it soon.

Nick Chester:

Coming down from E3 has been quite hard. Not that I’ve ever tried it, but I’d imagine it’s like the sinking feeling you’d feel after after a long night of popping ecstasy and dancing to remixes of Madonna songs.

I’ve been attempting to pull myself out of the funk by picking up where I left off with Ninja Gaiden: Sigma, which continues to be gorgeous and fun, yet brutally difficult. Bomberman Live!, Super Stardust HD, and Pac-Man Championship Edition are also all in the mix this week.

My luck took another strike for the worst, meaning that my time spent with Overlord was cut short way too soon. Hopefully that won’t be an issue much longer. In other news, I bought Dirge of Cerberus: Final Fantasy VII, and Odin Sphere today. I’m only a fraction of the way into these two, so it is too early to pass judgment.

Topher Cantler:
Finally getting down to some Bomberman Live mulitplayer, along with OMG My house is full of nerds, Who’s in the bathroom 4, and any number of impossibly hard Japanese shmups in the gaming arena at this year’s Otakon.

There’s one that I find particularly interesting — it’s a vertical-scrolling PS2 shooter where your ship is a cute little anime character, and all the enemies are stuffed puppies, gumdrops, candy and kawaii things. It’s fun but it’s fucking weird.

Now that I’ve finally shaken off all those germs thanks to the plethora of dirty gaming bloggers at E3, I’ve managed to start just a wee bit of gaming once again with a dash of Pokémon Pearl here, a sprinkle of Elite Beat Agents there, and a twist of the addictive 8-bitastic flash game Rat Maze 2.  Otherwise, I’ve been practicing the Standing on One Foot game in anticipation for the Nintendo’s utterly unexciting WiiFit.

Ron Workman:

Barry Mannilow’s world on the PS3, Hushgush is a tool on the 360, and Crabs at the Doctors office on the life. In a really bizarre twist of fate… I really want my Wii back. I have no clue why. E3 just made me really want to start playing that thing again. On the reals, I played Bomberman on XBL, a little Boom boom Rocket (I had a girl over) and have been downloading and watching the coverage on E3 on the 360. Don’t forget kids, MS put all kinds of videos up that are free on the marketplace. Like books, check em’ out!

Earlier in the week I played Jet Set Radio and Hydro Thunder on Dreamcast because both games rock and I had nothing better to play. Wednesday through Saturday it was nothing but Bomberman Live. This actually caused Tazarthayoot to send me a message saying that I need professional help. I think he might be on to something.


Et tu dear reader? In the eternal quest to escape from reality, what has been your opiate this week? 

Earnest Cavalli
I'm Nex. I used to work here but my love of cash led me to take a gig with Wired. I still keep an eye on the 'toid, but to see what I'm really up to, you should either hit up my Vox or go have a look at the Wired media empire.