Destructoid’s games of the week for 06/10/07: HR nightmare edition!

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To whom it may concern,

It has come to my attention that the smoke detectors in the lavatories are made entirely out of Papier-mâché. While they make for decorative and festive accoutrements in an otherwise sterile restroom environment, it’s entirely possible that they would fail to perform their primary function in the event of a fire.

Professionally,

Dr. Nex PhD

The Cherokee believed that fire was the living embodiment of the emotions of dragonflies and their loved ones, weeping from beyond the grave. They also believed in all the lies told to them by a destiny manifestin’ US government. Really makes you think, huh?

While you were busy thinking about Johnny Bongwater and Julie Dandelionsnaps, back in the real world, we were living completely in a virtual world! Take that you damn dirty hippies! Here’s where we’ve been all week: 

Hushgush:
This week it’s Catch up on projects I haven’t had time for. The controls are clunky, but it’s got decent graphics and the soundtrack kicks ass.

Also Forza 2.

Nick “Brutal” Chester:
Planet Puzzle League, Mortal Kombat: Armageddon Wii, Shadowrun (360), Fallout 2, Spider-Man 3 (360), and when I get around to opening the package, Forza 2.

Next question.

Jim Sterling:

I’ve finally got my Xbox 360 woes sorted out, ending the long griping sessions that much of the Dtoid community have had to endure, so I’ve been snatching little snippets of a variety of games. Been digging into Xbox Live Arcade with some Boom Boom Rocket and Worms action, plus been getting into a little Ninety Nine Nights and Command & Conquer 3, although the former keeps giving me disc read errors, the wankburger. Capping it off, I picked up Crackdown too, which I am sure to have played before this gets posted.

(There, that shouldn’t have been sent to just Nick. He has no use for such information UNLESS HE MONITERS MY EVERY WAKING MOVE!)

Niero:

I went on ebay this week and picked up one of those Gameboy Advance adapters for my Gamecube, which lets me play Zelda: Minnish Cap on my big screen.  Its like having a brand new somewhat blurry Super Nintendo!  I also created a fake Japanese account on my PS3 and go to try the weird cat game (hopeless) and FolksSoul, which is gorgeous and short like most Asian women.

Nex:

This last week has been a spiritual journey to the center of my gaming one-ness. Like Jack Nicholson in Easy Rider, I was forced to wear a football helmet through most of the ordeal, but, in the end, children thirty years from now will look back on the last week and think “wow! I had no idea he was in this!”

And other then the requisite World of Wacraft, I managed to beat Earth Defense Force 2017. If you’re expecting stunning cinematics at the end, you haven’t been paying very good attention.

David Houghton:

Mario Strikers, all the way. It’s an unholy three-way marriage between football, NBA Jam, and Super Mario Kart, and I love it as if I’d given birth to it myself. As a result I haven’t played anything else since I got it. Not a single game.

Dick McVengeance:
Since I’m finally done with Super Paper Mario, that means my plate will now be filled with Phoenix Wright: Justice for All, Cooking Mama (DS), and Red Steel. A collection that can only be summed up as “good times for all.”

Chad Concelmo:
I tend to play only one game until I beat it (ya’ know, I try to savor the story and all that crap) so I am still working on Rogue Galaxy (PS2)
Cheated a little bit this week, though, with the amazing distraction that is Planet Puzzle League (DS).

Ron Workman:
On the 360, Overlord, Halo 3, that car game, damn, I can never remember the name. That new car game in the Arcade! I am to lazy to look it up, but I really like it. I have been doing cheezeballz. Thats cocaine and cheese btw. On the Wii, Dust collector 5000, chairs, advanced shelf stacker, and staring at the blue light at night and wondering why I bought the damn thing part 8. On the BS3, nothing. I am waiting for MGS4. On the PC, I don’t know, pick something and add it here. Nobody really cares, do you? I just think its funny that DMV is playing Red Steel. That game is shit that was made up of other peoples shit, that shit out their shit, and made more shit. Understand?

Orcist:
I’m playing Final Fantasy III and Portrait of Ruin on my DS, relishing the fact that I got both of those for free. I’m also playing Why aren’t there any games in Europe? This place sucks. It’s pretty rubbish.

Rev Anthony:

Playing Call of Juarez again, and Doom 3 for the first time. I don’t see what the fuss is about — it’s not remotely scary.

Dyson Grigsby:

Well, nothing to exciting to report. I’m still working on finishing Red Star, but for the rest of the week I’ve been rocking the retro (big surprise). I just picked up a sweet copy of Secret of Evermore for the SNES, but it has to wait in line until I finish Final Fantasy III (VI). I did manage to buy an Xbox 360, but aside from some Viva Pinata, I haven’t turned the machine on. Is it all just shooters on this system? Lame.

Aaron Linde:
I’m done with school — nay, with college as a whole, God damnit! — so I’m finally getting back to all the games that I’ve been meaning to play. Or trying to, anyway. Trouble is we’ve got reviews on the way for Planet Puzzle League, Shadowrun, and Crush on the way, so I’ve gotta dedicate myself to those almost exclusively to make sure I can do ’em justice. And standing in my way of that is Pac-Man CE, which is too awesome for words, no matter what Nex says. (Editor’s Note: Nex is infallible. If you thought your god was awesome, just wait until Nex starts turning stuff into wine and raining dead monkeys on your house. — Someone other than Nex)

Colette Bennett:
Still hammering away at Puzzle Quest, also picked up Warioware:Touched! and Brain Age.
ALL I PLAY ARE DS GAMES.

Gameboi:

Forza 2 is still the teacher’s pet, but I’ve managed to squeeze in some time with Shrek the Third, The Incredibles: Riser of the Underminer (which is a great co-op beat em up, by the way), and Tomb Raider Anniversary. I still plan on trying out that Shadowrun game I keep hearing so much about, but so far it’s a no go. I’m also pretending to be a responsible adult, but it’s hard.

Whoops! Also forgot to mention Cooking Mama for the Wii. I tried to like this game, I really did. However, the controls sucked majorly, and I’m ecstatic that it was only a rental. I hope the DS version is much better.

 

This is the end, my only friend, the end.

Now go write about what you’ve been playing! We aren’t paying you to suck face under the bleachers!


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Author
Earnest Cavalli
I'm Nex. I used to work here but my love of cash led me to take a gig with Wired. I still keep an eye on the 'toid, but to see what I'm really up to, you should either hit up my Vox or go have a look at the Wired media empire.