Destructoid’s games of the week for 04/15/07: Count Duckula edition!

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I’m one of those people with an uncanny, and totally useless, memory for bizarre bits of pop culture minutiae, hence, this week, I had decided to write something about an ancient, British children’s cartoon about an anthropomorphic, vegetarian, vampire duck; Count Duckula. After searching my local Internet tubes for pictures to go along with this piece, I came across the above graphic, which has led me to the following two questions — first, why was I never told that there was a Count Duckula game, and second, why was my childhood so deeply entrenched in bizarre cartoons from foreign countries?

Duckula was sort of Daffy Duck meets Anne Rice, only there was no effeminate vampirism, blood, or, really anything that would have made my previous statement viable, other than the fact that he was a duck.

The game, though, must have absolutely been the most awesome thing ever. I found a few screenshots (here and here), and based on those pictures, I’m imagining it was something like Castlevania, only more British. Instead of whipping zombies, you’d politely ask them if they’ve purchased the new Streets album, and instead of throwing axes at bats, you’d be drugged by Pete Doherty.

England is a terrifying place. 

Count Duckula references? What the hell am I on? Here’s what the editors have been playing: 

Dick McVengeance:
Bustin’ my ass through Super Paper Mario, and maybe I’ll tackle the ending of God Hand.

Ron Workman:
Ummm… a lot. Gears of War, MLB 2k7, Virtua Tennis 3, Root Beer Tapper, Ms Pacman, Rally X, Cloning Clyde, Lumines, Tony Hawk Project 8, PGR3, Armored Core 4, Shadowrun, Forza 2, Halo 3 Alpha, Alien Homonid HD, Joust, Jetpac Refueled, Contra, Frogger, Castlevania SOTN, Luxor 2, Assault Heroes, TotemBall, Uno, Joystink sucks, and Boom Boom MuthaF*ck*n Rocket. Wheeew!
That is a big list. Basically, I have been working on my gamerscore this week. Britini got me started on it trying to unlock co-op stuff in GOW and Contra. I didn’t stop after that.

Nick Brutal:
I played a lot of Motorstorm this week, which would be my first PlayStation 3 game I’ve sat down and spent time with since I’ve owned it. Go me.

Definitely working on my Guitar Hero II achievement list, too. I’ve decided to try to maintain focus on one game at a time, so that I’m not distracted and NEVER complete achievement lists.

I am concerned about the co-op achievements, because that would involved getting someone over my place who has another guitar. If they have another guitar, they probably also want the achievements. And if they don’t have a memory card with their Live account on it, he/she is wasting time. So it’s a pickle, indeed.

Earlier this week, I picked up Virtua Tennis 3. As much as sports games are generally bland, repetitive affairs, Sega has always made ridiculously awesome tennis games. Hell, I don’t even like tennis, and I think I’m one of the few guys on the planet lacking that whole “tiny tennis skirt” fetish, yet I’m way into the virtual recreation of the sport.

Also, I’ve been playing through Dead Rising for a second time. Things are much easier at level 30 than they were at level 1, so I’m much more “Ben” than “Harry Cooper” this time through. 

Oh, and, of course, Guitar Hero II. I’m pissed about all the issues Red Octane has been having, and the ridiculous prices for DLC, but the game is just SO damn sweet. Plus, it’s one of the finest titles for pulling in hipper-than-thou non-gamers, as absolutely no one can resist Glenn Danzig. 

Chocobo Tales for DS. God I love Chocobo so hard. Kweh!!

Also, Phantasy Star 4, thanks to Gametap. God I love that series.

I’m gonna finish Paper Mario as soon as humanly possible, and then I’m probably going to have to find something else to occupy my time. Apart from replaying the latest Sam and Max episode, I’m out of ideas. Any suggestions?

This weeked, I’m playing Diablo II and the Puzzle Quest demo. It’s the ultimate in addiction, and I’m not even that great at puzzle games. I’m on the verge of releasing my prisoners at Skellheim, because I’m a rebel.

PC gaming for the Nguyen.

Still playing Chocobo Tales and gearing up for some Boom Boom Rocket later this weekend. Explodykaboom.

Cybernetic Tiger Z:
Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories for the PS2. It was surprisingly good. I had fears it was going to be as horrible as Liberty City Stories, but it turned out better than the original Vice City.

I’ve almost completed each story book game and objective in Final Fantasy Fables: Chocobo Tales. I finished the main storyline, found all the chocobos and need to finish gold on all the micro games. KEWH!

I also got Cooking Mama and Trauma Center for the DS today. Cooking Mama is fun except for peeling. I suck at peeling. Trauma Center; I’m stuck on, like, the 5th operation.

My broken 360 has caused me to play many old arcade and PC games. Above all I’ve been playing Deus Ex Invisible War. I haven’t had so much fun throwing random sh*t around since Half-Life 2. Who needs next-gen when you can jump into ceiling fans without getting hurt?

Aaron Linde:
Super Paper Mario, some Yoshi’s Island DS since I never got around to it, and the motherfucking Neverhood. I started replaying it when Niero suggested it for Bargain Bin Laden, and then I found out how ridiculously expensive it is (thus negating BBLity), so I clutched my copy tightly to my chest. That game makes me want to make love to clay.


By now, you should know what to do in the comments. If you don’t, ask your neighbor, and please, stop eating the paste. 

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Earnest Cavalli
I'm Nex. I used to work here but my love of cash led me to take a gig with Wired. I still keep an eye on the 'toid, but to see what I'm really up to, you should either hit up my Vox or go have a look at the Wired media empire.