Destructoid’s games of the week for 03/25/07: Triumphant return edition?

For those keeping score at home, I kinda, sorta, somehow missed last week’s session of “what have the editors been jamming into their consoles?”, and for that I’m very, very sorry. I’ve been beating myself up about it all week, and at one point I took to downing handfuls of Percocet washed down with rum in a vain effort to end my bleak, meaningless existence. As it turns out, sadly, I’m an immortal. Did you ever see that movie The Highlander? Yeah, same idea, except I can only be killed by bees. So after I managed to stop vomitting up my organs and my non-necrotic bits started knitting themselves back together, I woke up and realized that I really ought to get to work on this week’s edition.

In the end, there isn’t a joke here. You were all hoping for something entertaining but the best I could come up with was a quip about suicide-by-overdose and a reference to a Christopher Lambert film that maybe a hundred people saw back in the late-80s and even fewer people remember. 

God, remember when I used to be good at this kind of thing? Wasn’t that awesome? I’m washed up kids. I’m falling apart.

We’re reaching the point where the inevitable is walking down a pier and falling into the ocean. You won’t see it until it’s too late and by then I’ll be gone. Don’t blame yourselves, you did everything you could. It’s an innate destructiveness, and I’m tired of fighting. So very tired. 

Here’s the list;

Ron Workman:
Everything! Absolutely everything! Well, aside from all the games the wifey stole this week.
On XBLA Ive been playing TMNT, Castlevania SOTN, Geometry Wars, Uno, Alien Homonid, Worms, even fucking Joust.
On BS3 – Nothing because it still sucks. BluRay isnt making good games so who gives a shit.
On the Wii – Wii Sports so I swing my arms around like an idiot. At least my friends play it when they are drunk or stoned.
On regular 360 – GOW, COD2, & Shadowrun Beta (which I cant decide on yet) I can see where Shadowrun has a lot of potential. Its multiplayer levels have speed and strategy. Its a big melting pot of everything thats almost to much. But… I think this could stand out as a real multiplayer battle game that holds up.
I plan on jumping back into PC gaming as soon as I get my new laptop. I miss the old days.
In real life, I have been playing, “Please God let my liver and kidneys make it through this month.” As far as I can tell… I am not winning.

This week I picked up a brand new LCD HDTV, so I finally bought Dead Rising. The premise of this game is the reason I purchased a 360, and damn if murdering hordes of zombies in a mall while fighting off the encroaching lonliness and desolation isn’t the coolest thing ever, I’ll punch George Romero in the cunt. 

Oh, and I also got to experience the sexcellence of God of War 2 over at Cap’n Niero’s Miami pad, and if the PlayStation 2 has to die, it couldn’t have a better send-off. 

Cybernetic Tiger Z:
You’ve been playing on a regular 360 Ron?! Wow, does that like mean you have another super awesomer 360 that can give you hand jobs and such? Golly, that’s swell.

I just beat God of War 2 five minutes ago (it’s 1:24AM!). Alls I have to say about it is “F*CKING GOD DAMN F*CK CLIFF HANGER F*CKING ENDINGS!

Nick Brutal:
I was on the verge of trading in my copy of Elite Beat Agents, but decided to take it on my recent trip up to NYC. On the way, I figured I’d give it one more go, attempting to complete the game on “Cruisin,” the games equivalent of “medium” difficulty.

Bad news — I fought against the final song, “Jumping Jack Flash” for three hours. Pro tip: playing Elite Beat Agents in a moving vehicle is bad news. The good news is that I finally was able to get through the song, unlocking the next difficultly level and thus assuring that there’s no way I’m going to be selling this game anytime soon.

Still staying on track with God of War II, slowly but surely working my way through it. Despite things I hear about the ending being terrible, it would have to be video of Kratos having sex with my mother for me to get upset (and even then, depending on the position, I might let it slide).

Other than that, I spent a lot of time playing Unreal 3 at Midway’s Gamer Day event in NYC on Thursday, along with some of their other 2007 (or uh, 2008) titles.

Also, cocks.

Rocketu Slimuuuuu!!! I’m such a Japanese schoolgirl lately. I have the big three powerful next-gen systems collecting dust before me in comparison of just how much I play my DS. This week it’s been Rocket Slime, Hotel Dusk, and I had the special opportunity to have four of the Destructoid editors crash my apartment last weekend for a few hours of God of War 2 before I passed out with a Corona in my hand. Four nights of non-stop partying have taken their toll and ripping wings off Andy the Griffin wasn’t enough. I’m spent.

Colette Bennett:
Final Fantasy 3 and a little bit of original Legend of Zelda. I can’t stop going back to that damned game.

I’m enjoying Castlevania on XBLA (OMG, the voice acting. Why?) and Rocket Slime for DS. Old skool weekend FTW!

Next week, I have to go back to school, so I probably won’t be playing much. When I’m not gouging my eyes out, I’ll be playing Vagrant Story and Diablo II.

I’m still playing Final Fantasy XII. I’m addicted to the damn thing. I’m waiting for Suikoden V in the mail.

Guitar Hero II, God of War II, and wasting away more hours on Ragnarok Online again.


Et tu? What have you guys been playing? And, since I screwed the pooch last week, feel free to toss in anything from then, as well.

Earnest Cavalli
I'm Nex. I used to work here but my love of cash led me to take a gig with Wired. I still keep an eye on the 'toid, but to see what I'm really up to, you should either hit up my Vox or go have a look at the Wired media empire.