Destructoid’s games of the week for 02/18/07: Ron’s secret: revealed edition!

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There has been a ton of speculation as of late regarding the secret held by Ron “Truncheon Nutria” Workman. People have been hounding those of us who know night and day, and honestly, it’s become rather tiring. At the risk of losing a friend, confidant, and secret lover, I’m putting an end to all of this right now. He may have wanted you to wait until the Podtoid is released later today to find out, but I feel it’s my duty as a total jerk to spoil his thunder and let you, my dear reader, know the truth behind Ron “Tazer Capybara” Workman.

Hit the jump for the big reveal. 

Ron “Laserbeam Fruit Bat” Workman shot JR. 

Now that that’s out of the way, here’s what the editors have been playing this week. At least, those of them clever enough to follow my trail of breadcrumbs into the forum;

Dick “Pepper Spray Gibbon” McVengeance:
I’ve been holed up inside of my room due to the horrible snow drifts that are outside. So, this has allowed me to…write my papers. I’m still not done with school work, but I’ve managed to play some Red Steel with friends and mock the living hell out of it. If you haven’t played the game yet, please do so. You don’t realize how bad it is until you’ve played it.

Nick “Scalpel Ferret” Brutal:
I’ve been playing Lumines Plus for the PS2 and it’s done nothing but make me angry. Not because it’s a bad game; it’s not. Lumines is pretty great, no matter how you slice it. I’m angry because it’s reminding me how much Xbox 360 owners got screwed when they purchased the Xbox Live Arcade version. Free skin/content packs for life, please.

Also, the wife and I are digging into God of War together, in anticipation of the sequel. I’m still playing the GBA import, Rhythm Tengoku, and wondering why it was never brought to America.

And Halo 3. Lots and lots of Halo 3.

Ron “Bazooka Trout” Workman:
Crackdown (fo shizzle), Fusion Frenzy 2 (Very underrated when playing with a group of friends), COD2 and Halo2(with Britini), & a ton of Xbox Live Arcade games. Street fighter 2, Mortal Kombat 3, Paperboy, Uno (w/Prosu and Mrs. Violence), Joust and more. A very special thanks goes out to Lila for hooking me up with one of the best Valentines day gifts of all… Video games.
P.S. If anyone sends me a message on XBL or a friend request, PLEASE explain who you are or how I know you.

Damn… I almost forgot. I UNBOXED MY WII FINALLY! The caps lock and excitement ends there sadly. I have only played Wii Bowling so far and it was a lot of fun. I just really expect more out of a gaming system. I can really see where this is a Party machine and not a gaming machine. Im really pissed at Nintendo for screwing their fans over. I am just not to blind to see it like a lot of folks. Viva Revolution! Wait, wasn’t it going to be called that? lol

Nex “Chaingun Tyrannosaurus”:
Lunar Knights. Yes, still. It beats the pants off of Diddy Kong Racing, even though DKR is one of the finest monkeys-riding-hovercraft simulators known to man.

Also, I finally picked up the PC version of F.E.A.R. As much as it’s a stunning FPS, it is certainly not Halflife 2. It made me realize something, though, as I was sitting there capping people in the knees via mouse and keyboard, all those people who argue that FPS’ can be done as well on a console as on a PC are out of their fucking minds.

There’s no joke there. I really do despise them for being so stupid.

Robert “Cap Gun Cormorant” Summa:
I’ve been playing the “moving across the country to Los Angeles” game. I am now an expert Ikea assembler with a +10 bonus in hammering. 

Oh, but the other day I did finally play a little Company of Heroes. I like when they say bad words. It’s funny … teehee. Also, I have been playing a little Ratchet and Clank on the PSP — someone finally figured out how to make a game on the PSP.

Todd “What? Nex Gets To Make Up Editors Now?” Weiland:
Honestly, I’m a figment of Nex’s imagination. I’m not sure how you expect me to be able to play video games, but since I have no thumbs, I haven’t been. 


So what have you guys been playing this last week? Oh, and knock yourselves out by making up witty MGS-style nicknames for yourselves as well. 

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Image of Earnest Cavalli
Earnest Cavalli
I'm Nex. I used to work here but my love of cash led me to take a gig with Wired. I still keep an eye on the 'toid, but to see what I'm really up to, you should either hit up my Vox or go have a look at the Wired media empire.