Destructoid Theme Song Contest: the end is nigh!

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Those of you fortunate enough to be on the coast farthest from me (that would be, the East coast) could quite possibly be sitting pretty, already clamoring away at Mississippi Queen and lucidly basking in the high-def glow of your personal copy of Rock Band.

But that’s not what this contest is about, is it? Of course you could go ‘sell-out’ by buying Rock Band on your own, parting ways with the Benjamin Franklin twins and feeling comfortable that you’ve abandoned your competitive soul at the nearest Best Buy. On the other hand, you could put a lasting effort into submitting a song entry by 11:59 PM tomorrow and have a sporting chance at dignity (and a free set of virtual rocking peripherals to boot!) And because I’m feeling extra generous tonight I’m going to toss in a complimentary, one of a kind Destructoid armband in to the prize basket. Huzzah!

As I wait patiently with my sound levels pumped, dreamily gazing at my inbox for the final few entries, here are a few more entries to set your song standards too. At the front we have yet another Destructoid cover song by Dan O’Neill, this time slapped together with a cheeky 8-bit grin. Robust in sprite-like flavor, Dan’s music video even cameo’s the original song writer GameJew. Fancy!

Hit the jump for a few more of today’s musical meat-chunks, and dont’ forget to send your songs to [email protected]!

With a musical overtone that grinds like sand between your teeth, errand’s song titled “Just a box of robot sandwhiches” hangs heavy with percussion and mashed-in sound bytes:

Finally, our local Dtoider BlueWolf72 pulls together his resources and assembles some Destructoid-themed lyrics for his tribute. The beat beneath the words is credited to the long lost classic Turn this Mutha Out, brought to you by none other than my main man MC Hammer.  Follow the bouncing ball!

We are hittin’ hard in miami
We are hittin’ hard in japan
uranus, robotville & Yo-town is on fire
Word, word, word!
all robot’s are proper
And in Miami, we are mooovin’ somethin’
Turn this mutha out
community blogger posse they will
Turn this mutha out
Yeah boy, they will
Turn this mutha out
M.C. roboto he will
(chorus ends early)

electro lemon, you ain’t hittin’ in New York
So what you gon’ do about that, lemon?
I’m gon’ turn this mutha out.

Destructoid, he is…

Strong like a lion, no denyin’
I’m in effect and you suckas are tryin’
to get with me, you can’t hang
Doin’ it like this, I’m in with a robotic lazer bang
Goin’ boom like thunda, and you wonder,
How in the world can the Dtoider be underneath me?
He’s gonna beat me, say yes to the master and I will teach thee

Turn this mutha dtoid out
Turn this mutha dtoid out
Turn this mutha dtoid out
Turn this mutha dtoid out

destructoid, tell ’em how you came up babeeee!

I was a student, now I’m the teacher,
I was a member, now I’m the preacher,
I was a worker, and you were the boss,
Now I’m gettin’ paid and you’re takin’ the loss
Once says stop, the other says flee
No, don’t perpetrate destructoid is the feature
Step off, you punk, no fear, I’m destructoid and I came here to…


I’m improvin’, better start schoolin
Headed to the top where I’ll be rulin’
On top, of hip-hop, I’m in effect and you’re not
Your news aren’t cool, your other game podcast shows are weak
Duel with the destructoid and meet defeat
Every night, every week,
I’m comin’ correct, you don’t want none of me.

I keep hearin’ what you sayin’
“Yo destructoid, we knowin’ the planet on the wayin'”
I don’t care where you from,
I make most look silly, and others look dumb
Yeah suckas, you should, run,
I am, def on the stage, pumpin’ at the club
destructoid is an eagle, and all you sites a dove

(funky beats & breaks)

I’m from Robotville, destructoid straight down
Takin all comers, whoever want to get some
I’m original, you’re digital
You want somethin’ to say, you’re news is pitiful
Don’t worry, I’m in tact
Whatever I say, the dtoiders will back
Twice as strong, It’s goin’ on
and I willll…

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