Call him the Smoochinator
Welcome back to Taco Bell, home of the Fried Giga Chalupa, may I take your order?
Actually, it’s another one of Destructoid’s beloved, beloved, loved community interviews. Where I take invite one of our intrepid and colorful community members to an undisclosed location in order to ask them meaningful questions like who they’d commit assault and battery against and does this thing look swollen?
Today’s interview is one of the newest members of the community staff members, Wesley L. Tacos Esquire III, or Weslikestacos. Is he a real boy? What keeps him up at night? And what are his favorite games? I’m sure one of these questions is serious and will be answered below!
strider: The interview begins now.
strider: Welcome to interview X-Taco. So it’s night time over there?
weslikestacos: Yeah buddy, almost 9 pm. Getting close to my old man bedtime!
strider: Okay then. Let’s start with the basics. How did you first find Dtoid?
weslikestacos: I honestly don’t remember anymore. I’ve been thinking about that one for a while now, trying to bring back what brought me here to begin with, but I can never remember.
strider: Classic amnesia.
weslikestacos: Probably a review or something… I figure I’ve been around since 08/09-ish. A classic lurker.
strider: So you’ve been a taco for seven to eight years. Have you always had the taco avatar?
Were you just hungry when you came up with your concept?
weslikestacos: Nah, back then I used what’s still my PSN id pmanningrocks. I got tired of that one and kinda stopped taking sports and the like so seriously, and was looking for something that defined me, as a man.
And I thought to myself, “What sort of cruel, inhuman bastard doesn’t like tacos?” From then on, it became my mission to let people know where I stood on tacos. It’s something of a hardline stance for me.
strider: I like fusion Mexican food trucks. Like, especially southeastern fusion burritos, curry burritos, or kimchi tacos.
weslikestacos: The kind where they do like, spaghetti tacos or ones where they put soup in the middle?
strider: Humanity has not traversed that far yet.
weslikestacos: I think food trucks were just declared legal where I live, so all we really get at the moment is like hot dog trucks. Hot dogs are cool, though, so I’m not complaining.
strider: Food trucks are the trendy thing on the west coast after all.
weslikestacos: I think you have to go to some of the bigger cities on the East Coast. Are we gonna have like a rap feud now, since we’re on opposite sides of the country/food truck culture line?
strider: So after lurking, do you remember taking to mostly after you ended your silence? FP commenting? Cblogging? Cyber stalking?
weslikestacos: I started commenting at first on the front page. I’d have to look, but I’m about 99% sure the first comment I made directly to someone under my new and improved taco name was Terry Broadway. He was going on vacation or something and just kind of innocuously mentioned it in a comment thread, so I steeled myself to actually interact with a community member for whom I had a great affinity.
Since I lurked so damned long, it was really nerve-wracking to actually start talking to all the regulars I recognized for years around the place. I had images of he and Occams giving me a swirly.
strider: I picture myself more as a wrestling heel, so it doesn’t matter how positively or negatively I interact with members.
weslikestacos: I just have a very innate desire to be liked.
strider: You fool, you fell for my emotional heel turn!
weslikestacos: Oh my God! He’s beating him to within an inch of his life!
strider: What is your favorite video game of all time if I were to hold a gun to your head and it became censored into some sort of nerf colored showerhead?
weslikestacos: Woof, man, that’s a tough one. Do I get a time limit? Is it like Russian Roulette where if I don’t give an acceptable answer at first I might have another shot?
strider: You’ll be banished to the shadow realm.
weslikestacos: Shit, I don’t know if I can handle that. FINE!
BioShock. Whew. That was close.
strider: And that was remastered recently too. So did you get it? I assume you like it for atmosphere and Ayn Rand.
weslikestacos: Final Fantasy X is a close second. Haven’t picked up the remaster yet, I’m too cheap to buy a collection of three games for $60. Especially since I own all the originals. I’ll get it when/if it goes on sale. Then you’ll see.
You’ll ALL see.
weslikestacos: I have no affinity toward Rand, but wow that game blew my mind when I first played it. Atmosphere is on point in that game.
strider: I recently watched through the Super Best Friend’s LP of FFX and the compilation of all the times they expressed Waka as a sort of anti-Al Bhed Grand Wizard.
weslikestacos: That dude is legit racist. I was young and naive the last time I made it all the way through that game, but playing it again as a slightly-less-stupid adult really had me cringing a couple of times there.
weslikestacos: Wakka is like your racist uncle that keeps showing up to family affairs, and drops racial slurs while you’re trying to serve mashed potatoes. Then grandma gets upset and you and your parents storm out early. Hell of an arm, though, so no one says anything to him in real life. Kind of like John Rocker.
weslikestacos: What an absurd sport.
strider: Rugby underwater.
weslikestacos: Water hockey mixed with Quidditch.
strider: If you could narp it up with any one Dtoider, who would it be and doing what?
weslikestacos: Directly with someone? I’d like to have tea and play badminton with Occams. I bet he makes one hell of an Earl Grey, and probably has a backhand that would make any stereotypical ’70s pimp jealous.
strider: What a quaint image.
weslikestacos: We’d have a very quaint time. Now, let me take that a bit further.
strider: Of course.
All the way.
weslikestacos: If I could be a fly on the wall with any one, I’d take Dreamweaver. I’ve seen his posts, so I can only imagine the things he’s doing that he isn’t telling us.
And if I could do one activity with every member?
strider: That’s our newest CM for you. I forgot, who approached you for that?
weslikestacos: I was randomly made a Mod during E3. I think Occams was responsible for that if I’m not mistaken. And a little while later Papa Niero gave me my very own Dtoid email address, and when I asked about what one has to do to get the bump to CM, he bumped me up on the spot! I had to wire $4,000 to his offshore account and promise to name my first-born child (male or female) after him, but I can always make more money. And children.
strider: If you feel like trying that is. So how have you been liking the power so far?
weslikestacos: No one else on the staff has sent me a Cease & Desist yet, if that’s what you’re asking.
strider: I wasn’t. How many corpses have you hidden.
weslikestacos: How high can you count? If you don’t immediately know their middle name, I don’t think it counts.
I know you’re big on the comment moderation portion part of being a CM, but if you see any cblogs, feel free to bring it up. I’m not a Disqus mod and don’t think I’ll volunteer for that anytime soon.
weslikestacos: Comment modding oscillates between, “Hey, this isn’t that bad,” and, “If I had a time machine I’d go back in time and prevent my own birth from occurring, just so I don’t have to read these comments anymore.” It rarely hits that ceiling level, but when it does it’s rarely fun. The good news is you get to learn a ton about what makes people tick, since you’re reading so many more comments. And one of my favorite things to do is get some of the newer people involved, so modding lets me discover newer regulars
strider: You’re the only other Dtoider I can think of who’s married/engaged/monogamous.
weslikestacos: Shit, really?
I only keep her around so I can call her “Mrs. Tacos”
strider: I know Juice and Malika are here but not married like us. US.
weslikestacos: Hopefully she doesn’t look over my shoulder to read this. I’m technically not married for another 18 days.
strider: 18? That’s soon. How involved is she in your interests, namely video games.
weslikestacos: Yeah, she doesn’t have a ton of time left to come to her senses. She’s not a huge gamer, but absolutely adores the Katamari series. She watches me play every now and again. Said Fallout 4 looked really boring. She gets me, man.
strider: Fallout 4 is just like real life; nothing happens then you die.
weslikestacos: Wow man, that’s pretty deep.
strider: So she knows you associate with such a hive of scum and villainy.
weslikestacos: She’s seen some of the… festivities…on the site.
strider: That doesn’t sound promising. Was it a Friday?
weslikestacos: People who don’t “get it” always see the site on Friday. She thinks we’re all just a bunch of pervs and chronic wankers. Which isn’t too far off
[punches hole in a wall]
Can a sponge do this?
weslikestacos: The “masturbates” word is PG-13. I’m trying to keep things PG-12 in this interview!
strider: Are we still in America here.
weslikestacos: I wouldn’t want my legions of fans, or fans with lesions, to get the wrong idea about me!
strider: My wedding was more of an elopement, but at the last second I put amiibo into my ceremony. Do you have anything you’re proud of looking forward to for your ceremony?
weslikestacos: I’ve seen that article about ceremoniously putting amiibo into things.
strider: No, you’re thinking of Steven Hansen I think.
weslikestacos: I have an inordinate amount of George Michael and Katy Perry on the playlist for our wedding. Things are going to get very sexy on that dance floor. The alto sax from “Careless Whisper” is illegal in most states for what it does to the human libido.
weslikestacos: Taquitos will be made on that dance floor!
strider: We’re probably nearing the end of the interview. Got any games you’re looking forward to or anything planned for Dtoid?
weslikestacos: I don’t get a ton of time to devote to gaming proper these days, but I might pick up Final Fantasy XV somewhere down the line. The Last Guardian looks like it could still be really good, and I’m curious to see what the hell the NX actually ends up being.
strider: WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING ANYWAYS. That’s what has been nagging at me.
weslikestacos: As for Dtoid, I’m trying to find ways to get the community more involved with stuff. I love when we all come together and something seemingly innocuous really blows up, so we’ll see if my measly brain can conjure something up in the midst of all of this wedding business.
I work for a company that sells online ad space. I do planning for salespeople, and manage their ad campaigns! Why has it been nagging at you so?
strider: You don’t really bring up many troubles and it sounds like you have a nice ceremony planned, so you must have something relatively comfortable.
weslikestacos: Mrs. Tacos is a public schoolteacher and I don’t exactly make bank doing what I do. Plus student loans kicking in, and the incredibly high cost of living here in VA Beach? Everyday life can be stressful.
strider: You heard here first folks.
weslikestacos: I try not to burden others too much with my (relatively small) troubles. I just try and keep things positive.
strider: Well my wife is a teacher too. That’s a good outlook. I appreciate that philosophy.
weslikestacos: I learn from CMs that have come before me.
strider: I guess before we get to the closing words, I guess I should ask: are you totally taco loyal or is there room in your shell for burritos?
weslikestacos: I actually had some spinach enchiladas for lunch today. I’m polyamorous in my feelings for Hispanic foods. Ever had a legit Colombian empanada? Shit will blow your mind
strider: Don’t do drugs kids. Well, any parting words before the interview closes out?
weslikestacos: Treat each other with respect, and keep being you, y’all. Also, Nekro doesn’t actually have any candy down there. It’s a trick.
Well thanks for all she wrote Wes.
Is your name even Wes?
weslikestacos: Haha, yep! Wes Russow’s my name, and crying profusely each night before bed is my game! Thanks for doing this, man! It was fun! I’ve seen the old interviews, and always thought it would be awesome if I got one. And here I am! This whole journey I’ve had with the site in the past year has been nuts. So I appreciate all you guys behind the scenes being so welcoming to me.
strider: Well it’s good timing with you becoming CM. Who is Wes Tacos Esquire? What are his hopes, dreams, condiments.
weslikestacos: I’m a modest man of modest beginnings. I’m a country boy from Tennessee at heart, stuck here in VA Beach. I just try to do my best at things. I don’t want to be a sales planner all my life, but hey, it’s paying the bills. Who knows where life will lead me. Just graduated college last December and I’m only 29, so there’s still some time to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. I’ve always wanted to write for the site, and I have an English degree, so I’d like to do some more writing to help facilitate that goal.
strider: Should I just extend the cut off of the interview further down to here?
weslikestacos: Ha, sure! You popped that question on me, so I thought I’d enlighten. You can include anything you’d like!