Comments of the week: I’ve covered comments ya know

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It’s not business as usual in this town.

Comments of the Week is a feature where we scour the front page, community blogs, forums, social media and the magazines you leave under your bed picking out comments. The ones that make you think, the ones that make you laugh and the ones that make you cry (but also laugh), and consolidate them into an entertaining package for the viewing pleasure of you, the Destructoid community. 

Comments will fall into three categories: 

TRUTH: Batman 

LOL: Batfink 

WUT? Scatman

[The comments were OUT OF CONTROL this week, so long blog is long. You have been warned.]

From Are dragons the new zombies? 

You may scoff now, but if they made Zombies Jaws, they would be lining up for miles to watch it. 

From Facebook 

You will be pleased to hear that comments of the week comes to you vry wek intirely issue-fr3é 

Previously on Full COG armor? Also, transgender Link pics. Also also, Spider-Man pics. 

Aaron Mxy Yost:
 

M47R1X:
 

M47R1X:
 

ZombiePlatypus:
 

Polite Gentleman:
 

M47R1X:
 

ZombiePlatypus:

ZombiePlatypus:

Panzadolphin56:

ZombiePlatypus:
 

And now, back to Full COG armor? Also, transgender Link pics. Also also, Spider-Man pics. 

You know, we still haven’t found out if the full COG armor giveaway is legit but I’m sure the story will come full circle. 

Also, I’d make her Tingle. 

From Documentary mistakes videogames for real life 












BREAKING: Shameless self-promoting whore places own comments into comments of the week article! Police release photo of this man: 

 

Please approach him with caution: There is no telling when his ego might explode! 

From How To Post a cBlog While Playing Resident Evil 4 HD 

 

Lenigod must have figured out I’m a huge Police Squad! fan. 

Clever girl… 

From Twitter 

I’m overwhelmed by evidence! 

From Podtoid is doing an all-questions episode today! 

We’re an odd bunch, aren’t we? 

From Google+ 

Google+ also does anti-social, as well as social media. Also, hands up who else liked the comic relief in the middle of the argument with Darby Krajicek? The man has installed a solid state drive straight to my heart. 

From There’s a Puss In my Boot in my game 


Thank you! 

From Europe getting Batman: Arkham City Xbox 360 bundle 

May this be the first of many hilarious, trivial little fanboy pissing contests. Rock on, Jimmy and DNA. 

Speaking of mature, respectful discussion…oh wait, no I’m not! This week’s troll roll is dedicated to DNA619. See if you can read through these comments and guess which format he is most fond of: 

From comments by  DNA619 

Re: ICO & Shadow of the Colossus Collection tops charts!

I knew the depressed, dimwitted 360 bithces like Jimmyx would be on here crying. I’m honestly not surprised that Gears Of Bore got knocked off the top of the charts, it sold 3 million in it’s first week and it was utter crap. So, given the drop – off rate would probably be about 99% I can see why Gears has slid right down into the bargain bin already. 

Also, Jimmyx, you say that the best – selling PS3 games are remakes? Thank you for proving that 360 owners are the most uneductaed, gormless retards on the planet. The best – selling PS3 exclusive is GT5 with over 6.5 million sold, good luck getting your second – rate Gears Of Bore, Galo or Flopza to hit that mark. 

I wonder how many brainless idiots will buy Galo: Anniversary, a crappy port of a game that was even crappier when it first came out that shouldn’t be worth the retail price of a pack of Fruit Pastilles, nevermind £30. 

Oh yeah and Jimmy…about those 3 million. Those are the ONLY 3 million games Microsoft has sold all year and the only reason such a crappy game like Gears Of Bore sold so well was because it was the only exclusive the console’s had in 12 months. 360 owners were so starved for games at that point they’d buy any old garbage, regardless of how 8/10 it truly is. The PS3 beat 3 million in the first quarter of the year with LBP2 and Killzone 3, it’s taken Microsoft and the crappy Gears Of Bore 10 months to do something the PS3 did in 3, still feel like a big man? What a retard. 

P.S. The reviews just came in, turns out the big – budget, waste – of – space, bad – graphics Gears Of Bore got the same review scores as a port of 2 games that are 7 years old. Maybe Microsoft should just give up, if their new games can’t even beat PS2 ports in review scores…LOL, pathetic. … view replies

Re: Grown man attacks boy over Call of Duty: Black Ops

I like how some idiots are trying to pass this off as an insult against England. If this guy was TRULY serious about getting revenge, wouldn’t he have gone to the kids high school with a rifle and shot everyone? Isn’t that how they resolve this type of thing in America? 

Anyway, while I can’t condone a man picking a fight with a kid half his age I do agree that some of these assclowns that constantly run their mouths online deserve to have some respect beaten into them. It would have been funny if the kid was talking smack to anohter boy his age and then the boy beat the shit out of him at school, THAT would be reasonable. 

Also, not sure why some fangirl idiots are trying to blame the PS3. Especially since you constantly hear stories of rapists trying to get at children over Xbox LIVE. I guess they must just be bored with the entire lack of exclusive games and shoddy graphics.

Re: Gears of War 3 is the hottest game on PS3!

@ garethxxgod 

I’m not going to deny that I enjoy ruffling the feathers of these 360 cheerleaders every once in awhile. Watching people fall all over themselves in a fit of nerd rage is amsuing to me. And these 360 fangirls are such an easy target because owning a console with hardly any exclusive games has severely lowered their self – esteem, making them more prone to hilarious criticism. 

So, to summarize, I don’t hate the 360. I just hate 360 fangirls and enjoy winding them up. 

As far as Uncharted goes, I think the facts speak for themselves. Uncharted 2 won pretty much every award imaginable (GOTY, Best Graphics, Best Original Score, Best Story, ETC). Uncharted and Gears are similar in genre but separated by success. Compared to Gears, Uncharted might as well be a next – gen game.

Re: David Cage: United States has problems with my games

Why Americans are stupid: 

1. American publishers say that their consumers are nothing more than gun – loving rednecks. 

2. David Cage says that this is wrong and DEFENDS American gamers. 

3. American gamers can’t tell the difference between an insult and a compliment and so attack David Cage. 

I’m beginning to think that the guys from South Park got it right when they said at least a quarter of the country is retarded.

Re: GameStop: Consoles continue to be the ‘gold standard’

PC gaming is the kiddy market, always has been, always will be. Why do you think the big franchises like Call Of Duty, Grand Theft Auto and Assassin’s Creed sell 90% of their copies on the consoles? 

PC gaming will never catch console gaming because PC users don’t buy games. Full stop.

Re: Sony’s claims of good developer relations are ‘laughable’

I see a lot of whiny little 360 retards in here. I guess they must have gotten bored of Gears Of Bore 3 already. 

Clearly developers enjoy working with Sony more because it’s Sony developers like Naughty Dog that make the best games. No 360 exclusive has reached Uncharted 2 level of quality and probably never will because developers don’t enjoy working on shoddy hardware with last – gen graphics. 

Oh yeah and Sofik88, stop being such a fucking inbred moron. I always see you posting these ridiculous “Confirmed reports” on Sony and when people ask you to back it up with links you make up some bullcrap excuse and try to change the subject. Do you have a mental health problem that requires you to make a retard out of yourself a certain number of times a day? Like OCD? I understand you have nothing better to do with your life since the POS 360 doesn’t have any exclusive games worth playing to keep you entertained but surely you can find a better use of your time than trying to challenege for the “Biggest Douche In The Universe” award.

Re: PSN down for ‘maintenance’ for third time in four days

@ Jimmyx – are you completely retarded? How is the PSN going down for maintenance going to convince gamers to buy multiplatform games for a POS console with overpriced online, terrible graphics, a wonky controller and buggy hardware??? 

@ JohnGrisham – if you’re stupid enough to pay for a lackluster service from Microsoft when both Sony and Nintendo offer a BETTER serivce for FREE then I think you’re the one who doesn’t have a single fucking clue when it comes to online.

Re: GameStop: Consoles continue to be the ‘gold standard’

@ sewerracoon 

I can’t tell if you’re just an uneducated dimwit or a PC cheerleader. If you are disagreeing with my statement that games ALWAYS sell more copies on the consoles then you are quite clearly a bit stupid and I would ask you to either provide some facts that prove me wrong or keep quiet. We don’t need stupid children trying to hold a debate when the grown – ups are talking.

Re: Gears of War 3 sells 3 million copies in first week

In all seriousness though. Gears 3 has sold 3 million copies so that takes the total 360 exclusive game sales for 2011 to a whopping…3 million. LOL, pathetic. It’s taken the last – gen 360 10 months to do something that the PS3 did in 3 months, no surprises there. 

What bewilders me is that there are some 360 fangirls on here that are actually impressed. You’re impressed that the first 360 exclusive of the year took nearly 10 months to come out and still got reviewed like an unpolished turd??? Oh dear. I guess if you own a lesser console you obviously have lesser standards.

Re: David Cage: United States has problems with my games

@ Jimmyx 

You are America? Really? I guess that would explain your lack of a proper education, at least. Anyone who would choose a bad – graphics pile of junk like Gears Of Bore over a BAFTA winning game like Heavy Rain is certainly mentally inadequate.

Re: Europe getting Batman: Arkham City Xbox 360 bundle

@ Jimmyx – a weak response after I just tore through your entire debate. 

@ DeadnBuried – stop acting like a bloody retard. Gears 3 hits a 91 and you act like it’s the best game ever? 91 might be good by 360 standards but it’s NOT EVEN CLOSE to what Microsoft and Cliffy b were expecting. Why do you think Cliffy b got into a major – league hissy fit when he saw some people giving it an 8/10? Becuase both Microsoft and Epic were counting on this game hitting at least a 96. 

Gears 3 was supposed to be Microsoft’s last stand. They wanted, so desperately, to show that 360 exclusives can match quality with the likes of Uncharted 2 and when it failed miserably they threw their temper – tantrums. Maybe you should do a little research on the gaming industry and stop making yourself sound like a gormless fuckhead, if 91 was a critical success then why did Cliffy b get so mad about it? Why did he act like the victim of a giant conspiracy, if 91 is so acceptable? 

Like I said, a 91 might be good by 360 standards but it’s not in the same league as the games it wants to compete with.

Re: PC vs Console Gaming infographic: PC is making a comeback

LOl, I see the unwashed masses of the PC nerd race are here once again desperately clinging to falsefied graph charts to try and convince themselves that they haven’t just put together a $5000 paperweight. 

Seems to me that if the PC peasants spent half as much time playing games as they did talking bollocks perhaps the PC would account for more than 10% of multi – platform game sales. Then again…you spend that much money putting together a stupidly expensive web browser I guess you wouldn’t have any left to buy games for it…ROFL. 

PC gaming is a joke, most of the games worth playing this generation aren’t even available for it, or come out for it months after the console release and the few games that DO make it to the PC don’t sell because those idiots are too busy raiding on World Of Warcraft with their dermatologically challenged friends. 

I love Age Of Empires and FIFA Manager as much as anybody but those are the only games I play on the PC and if I could get them for the consoles I would. 

Re: PC vs Console Gaming infographic: PC is making a comeback

@ TheNephilym – take a look at the past 3 GOTY winners. GTA: IV – came to PC long after consoles. Uncharted 2 – not on PC and never will be. Red Dead Redemption – coming to PC LONG after consoles. There’s other huge games that come to PC long after the consoles as well, such as Assassin’s Creed, L.A. Noire and Batman: Arkham City. Final Fantasy doesn’t appear on the PC at all except for the MMO’s. And that’s not even counting a huge number of excluives such as God Of War, Demon’s Souls, Heavy Rain, Gran Turismo, LittleBigPlanet, Infamous, Yakuza, etc. 

@ Scuffles – a weak response after i’ve already proven what a moron you and your ignorant PC cheerleading pansies are. I notice you were unable to try and argue any of my points regarding game sales or games usually releasing on consoles first. But that makes sense, I never expected a PC troll to show any signs of research regarding the games industry. 

@ Gene Eric – are you mildly retarded? You accuse me of trolling but the only time you ever post a comment is when you’re insulting somebody else, you never have anything to say about the discussion at hand, you just want to flame people. Get a life.

I think it’s apt to end the roll on “You just want to flame people. Get a life.” hey physician; fancy having a go healing thyself?

I’m sure a lot of people are asking who would win in a fight out of jimmyx and DNA619; I’ve come to the conclusion that jimmyx and DNA619 are one schizophrenic man. The fight would go similarly to the scene near the end of Fight Club where Tyler Durden fights himself.

And now, some final words from BlackMeat, who got himself banned. Here was his tamer material [thanks to mrandydixon for holding on to this]:

Comments by BlackMeat

Re: A bunch of Dragon Quest X info has rolled in

Why can’t we all just get on our webcams and be sweetly sweet with each other? 

I love being a sweet gay black man.

Re: A bunch of Dragon Quest X info has rolled in

I totally embrace my job sucking Indian cocks because I am a sweetly sweet, sweet gay black man.

Re: The House of the Dead on PS3 may make your eyes hate you

I could go for some sweaty Mexican assholes right about now. 

I’m gay. I’m black. I’m sweet. I’m a sweet gay black man.

Re: Shank returns in Shank 2, shanking very likely

IME SPEERRRMMINNNGGG 

I’m such a sweet gay black man.

Re: Bethesda details Skyrim’s award-winning voice cast

Do me sweetly in the butt. 

Sweet. Gay. Black. Yep, I’m a sweet gay black man.

 

There’s a helicopter coming… three days from now, it’s my ride. I have a feeling you’ll show up again next week.


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