Uncanny, isn’t it?
Comments of the Week is a feature where we scour the front page, community blogs and forums picking out comments. The ones that make you think, the ones that make you laugh and the ones that make you cry (but also laugh), and consolidate them into an entertaining package for the viewing pleasure of you, the Destructoid community.
Comments will fall into three categories:
TRUTH: Stimulates the wisdom gland!
LOL: Agitates the mirth receptors!
WUT? WARNING: May cause nausea, dizziness and vomiting.
Well I guess it would be nice
If I could show these comments
I know not everybody
Has got a comment like you.
[Many thanks go to Handy for his invaluable contributions to this week’s Comments of the Week.]
Sean: These were the last reports of mattrodroid after he split into two evolutionary forms. These get an honorary truth entry, because it was something mattrodroid v1 would never have got. He will sort of be missed.
Handy: It is kind of sad that the week that Phoenix Wright and Frank West star in a Capcom fighter is met with such dismissal because of Capcom’s recent decisions. If they’re truly guilty of one thing this week it’s terrible timing.
Sean: I know a lot of people have said “but EA are doing this to force people to use Origin!” Well, yes, it is doing that, but holding games ransom is a risky move, especially considering how popular Steam is.
Even Apple know better than to limit their products to the Apple store. EA should be getting their products on every service going, and make Origin a distribution platform worth getting on by offering a fantastic service, or offering new and exciting social features to compete with Steam. Their current strategy threatens to upset as many consumers as it will attract.
Sean: Seems fitting that (s)he would have a cockney accent, considering their genitalia.
Sean: This looks like a job for… Super Sperm?
Handy: If this game is really an accurate portrayal of teenage girls’ life then you’ll get an instant Game Over if you show an interest in teenage me.
Sean: I think Handy is implying that he didn’t have much romantic success with girls during his teenage years, but I’m just going to pretend he murdered them, because it implies that too. Spicy!
Sean: You should have told the Easter Bunny to be more eggcepting.
Sean: Seriously, go looking for a fridge magnet with that name on it. You won’t find one.
From Question a Dtoider
Sean: My best pickup line? I get my rag and say “Smell this and tell me it doesn’t smell just like chloroform.”
Sean: If you have not watched Memento yet. Stop whatever you are doing and go rent it out and watch it now. Even if you are just getting ready to get married, just explain to the vicar you haven’t seen that movie yet. If they have any sense at all, they will understand.
Handy: Rammstein can be, to heavily sugarcoat it, a Negative Nancy, but damn if this didn’t make me laugh.
Sean: Where did you file them Isay Isay? Your KPIs are way down and Johnson on Floor 2 has been on my case about them since May. I’m up for disciplinary!
From: ANYTHING TO DO WITH CAPCOM.
Handy: To be honest this stuff started off in the WUT section, but eventually came back in on itself and became funny to me. I guess it’s up to you if you want to laugh with it or at it, then everybody’s happy!
………‘cept these guys.
Sean: Damn dragons, pushing their dragon agenda. It’s all pro-firelighters this and anti-extinguishers that. Makes me sick.
Sean: In unrelated news, here are two men covered in pie.
Sean: Seriously, the pun wasn’t that bad Sir Legendhead. Chill out.
Handy: I hereby decree that this gif must replace all “In B4 shitstorm, let me get mah popcorn.” comments from now on.
Sean: Go make me a sandwich, EKGProd.
Handy: ‘kay……………glad to see you’re becoming more open-minded?
Sean: Surprised they’re still around? You do know they made quite a bit of money from the Gears of War series, and the hundreds of games that use their ubiquitous Unreal Engine. Does that help give you some clues to go on?
Handy: It takes a special kind of person to see the misspelling of a foreign name as a reason to question someone’s journalistic credibility and start demanding RESPECT *bangs fist on podium*. The same type of person who interrupts an interesting discussion to point out “It’s pronounced Hi-deo Kojima not Hide-o Koijma, GAWD”.
Sean: Domo arigato, Mr DaveGuy.
Sean: Well, I don’t remember the time where Freddy dressed as Marilyn Monroe to seduce his victims… but it does remind me that I would play the hell out of a Looney Tunes fighting game.
Sean: If only you had written “Ethan Thomas” rather than “Gordon”, you’d have had a witty videogame-related comment there.
Sean: It might be worth checking to see if The Snipes is on Twitter, because there’s a slim chance he may be up for some of that action.
Handy: I don’t want to be a dick but …
Applying logic to Freddy Krueger is one thing in and of itself, but applying Freddy Krueger logic to a game, a game where all the characters murder each other horribly, but still somehow got to eight entries without drastically changing the cast each time. A game where character names are based on Prince song puns and developers names spelled backwards. A game where the sound designer pops up and sings “TOASTY” if you uppercut someone. A game where four armed lady-beasts wear Borat style g-strings and….look, I could be here all day, just roll with it is what I’m saying.
Sean: For more information, read the stacks of Elm Street fan fiction in Conan’s mom’s basement.
Sean: Cynicism! If only we could run our homes off it. I could plug the internet in, and I’d never have to pay for electricity again.
Hope you enjoyed the show, repeat performances are every Sunday at 12:30. Stay safe out there and don’t look up if you see pigeon crap on your car.