Comments of the Week 87

Down, but not out!

Oh look, for a blog from me that people will actually read! Welcome back to Comments of the Week, I’m your host Dreamweaver, here with all of the hippest and happening comments that I stole from you, the community!

No no, don’t thank me, I’m more than happy to steal your precious comments and claim the glory for myself. After all, bitches love those in power. As always, comments are placed into three categories:

TRUTH: supposedly, rubbing banana peels on mosquito bites can stop the itching.

LOL: in related news, women call my foreskin banana peels…

WUT?: but it causes the itching, not stop it.

If you haven’t checked out last week’s Comments of the Week, then you’re weak for not being able visit every week, which means you’re too weak to handle all of the comments at once. So you know what? You don’t get a link this week. Sucks to be you, because last week was awesome.


From ReCore’s lengthy load times won’t be improved for launch

Dreamweaver: I could masturbate in a fraction of that time! Twice.

From Farming Simulator 2017 does the impossible and brings mods to PS4

Dreamweaver: On the bright side, you have a new fireplace. Which is where the bright side is.

From Sega gives Sonic fans the okay to make games

Dreamweaver: I think I heard a hooker used a similar slogan once.

From Kojima talks about rods and ropes at Sony’s conference

Dreamweaver: Yeah, right now.

Dreamweaver: Or being married with kids.

From Blizzard legend and VP Chris Metzen retires from company

Dreamweaver: He’s right, old people have horrible dodging abilities.

From NieR: Automata hits Japan in February

Dreamweaver: “yet so far for the rest of us.”

I wouldn’t mind having a sofa.

From Don’t ‘worry,’ Call of Duty isn’t going anywhere

Dreamweaver: I wonder if their insults of sleeping with people’s mother would be literal.

From Sony boss thinks No Man’s Sky could have been marketed better

Dreamweaver: That’s right, undersell it so the final product looks amazing in comparison.

Like when I was in my mother’s womb.


From Review: ReCore

Dreamweaver: It’s funny because it’s true.

From Russian man faces 5 years in jail for playing Pokemon Go in church

Dreamweaver: I’m sure worshiping the Pokemon God would have equally punishing results.

From Sony announces anywhereVR for PlayStation VR

Dreamweaver: Just like in one of my Japanese animes.

Dreamweaver: Just pretend you’re looking into other realities of how stupid you look.

Dreamweaver: No, he’s the only one left.

From The PS4 gets folders and HDR today with its 4.0 update

Dreamweaver: Folder? I hardly know her.

From Sonic Mania gets an amazing collector’s edition

Dreamweaver: There’s a sex joke in there somewhere, but like a hooker having a baby, I won’t be the one to make it.

From Resident Evil 7 won’t feature microtransactions

Dreamweaver: There’s a Viagra joke in there somewhere.

From Nintendo Download: Dragon Quest VII

Dreamweaver: When I hear “Dairy Queen,” I have a totally different image in mind.

From Digital Homicide attempts to sue Steam users

Dreamweaver: Oh me, oh my!

From Resident Evil 7 has an updated demo and you don’t need PS Plus to play

Dreamweaver: Hands down, my favorite comment this week.


From Mario and Luigi’s long-lost father appears

Dreamweaver: You can tell his personality just by looking at him?

Alternate joke: Dang Billy, you chilly!

From Good god, that’s the Vita’s music!

Dreamweaver: Well, the PS Vita does have a Sleep function…

From Steam will ‘end relationships’ with developers that scam their reviews system

Dreamweaver: Dsylexics won’t get this joke.

From Suda is down for more remasters after The Silver Case

Dreamweaver: Now his penis has cookies and cream.

From Aragami looks rad and Tenchu as hell, out on October 4

Dreamweaver: That is intriguing… like, like whose underwear will you be stealing?

From Dead or Alive Xtreme is coming to PC

Dreamweaver: Put that bitch in a Valentine’s Day card. Bitches love Valentine’s Day cards.

From Frank West is a millennial, and that’s more dangerous than any zombie apocalypse

Dreamweaver: Pumpkin Spice is what hookers call ass-to-mouth.

From Resident Evil 7 has an updated demo and you don’t need PS Plus to play

Dreamweaver: Is… is that possible?

And that’s it for this week! I know, it’s sad to see ME go, but what can you do? I mean, you could comment more so I can have nice healthy batch of comments for next week… but not too much though, because, because I don’t want you stealing MY spotlight.