Comments of the Week 78 – Rocket jump? That sounds dangerous!

Truth. Lol. Wut.

Aw yeah, Comments of the Week! I KNOW you’ve been looking forward to this! I mean, how could you not? This is the best community showcase of the entire site, where fellow Dtoiders like you can get featured simply by posting truth bombs, funny jokes, or creepypastas. Haven’t been commenting? Then you should fix that!

But hey, not everyone has the time to visit Destructoid 24/7, so for those of you who couldn’t be around to make comments, or couldn’t be here to see all of the best ones this week has to offer, then this is for you! As always, you can expect comments to be available in three, low-fat flavors:

TRUTH: in a 2010 study, researchers found that the older the woman is, the more pubic hair she will leave on her body.

LOL: maybe that’s why I’m attracted to older women.

WUT?: I wonder what explains my hairy armpit fetish?

If you haven’t seen last week’s Comments of the Week, don’t worry, you can check it outright here. Well, not here here, since this here is this week’s Comments of the Week. You hear?


From Oh hell yeah, Quadrilateral Cowboy is out this month

Dreamweaver: What about the last trillion-bazillion years? Yeah, not so cocky now, are you?

From Review: Monster Hunter Generations

Dreamweaver: Does anyone else think Dreamweaver will get laid?

“The answer is always ‘yes’.”


From Pokemon Go fastest app to reach top revenue on Android, battling Twitter with active users

Dreamweaver: Tch, I ain’t afraid of no cold!

From Review: Necropolis

Dreamweaver: You are right, Isay.

From Port factory Splash Damage bought by Chinese poultry company

Dreamweaver: He knows this from personal experience.

…Roosters lay eggs, right?

From Review: Pokemon Go

Dreamweaver: Doesn’t actually involve the Chinese board game, Go. Japan/10

Dreamweaver: They make pills for that.

From Ubisoft doesn’t care if you pronounce its name wrong

Dreamweaver: Gesundheit.

From This limited-edition Xbox One S is a bit much

Dreamweaver: I’ll tell you what someone once told me: “just pretend she’s a virgin and you’re popping her cherry.”

From And now, a seven-minute trailer for Konami’s Snake Eater pachislot machine

Dreamweaver: Re-imagine the ending of Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater, but with a lever!


From Have you seen anyone play Pokemon Go?

Dreamweaver: Big Dave sounds like the name of a pimp. Like “yo, I hear Big Dave’s looking for you.”

From Review: 7 Days to Die

Dreamweaver: Or you die.

Dreamweaver: It’s the sole reason the game got anything higher than a 1.

From Review: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Eyes of Heaven

Dreamweaver: No no.

From I need to give Dangerous Golf another look thanks to this update

Dreamweaver: Now that you have new context, re-read the patch note regarding “updated holes.” :3

From Nintendo is launching a miniature NES this holiday

Dreamweaver: …Just for that, I’m not getting you another beer.

Dreamweaver: Could you imagine if it was a Mini-Famicom instead? That HDMI cable’s got some ‘plaining to do!

Dreamweaver: WHAT A TWIST!

Dreamweaver: It’s questions like these that keeps me up at night.

From (Update) Pokemon Go finally hits the UK

Dreamweaver: But for a completely unrelated reason.

Dangus took his shoes off and dipped his feet in the water.

From You can play Star Wars Battlefront multiplayer offline against bots next week

Dreamweaver: So… she had to abort the abortion?

From King Kaiser’s Quickpost

Dreamweaver: As an American, what did the money do to you?

From Mega Man X2 hits the Japanese Virtual Console next week

Dreamweaver: He’s actually going to Canada. He really loves their syrup.


From Review: Videoball

Dreamweaver: “I lost like 12 fucking wives!”

Those are the third best kind of wives! 🙁

From Arc System Works’ new game is Shephy…a Solitaire joint

Dreamweaver: What if the third sheep chokes? Will a fourth sheep come to save him? Then who will save that sheep?

Is there a never ending chain of sheep performing a Heimlich maneuver? Well, I guess the first sheep could, in theory…

From Oh my GOD, these two new Pokemon

Dreamweaver: I said that very same pick up line to a woman once.

She said “good, then you’re set for tonight.”

From Talk to a computer in a crumbling space ship in Event[0]

Dreamweaver: Of course not, she ain’t got no tongue!

…I checked. It’s lonely in space.

From Review: Energy Hook

Dreamweaver: Too real, too real!

From Indie Legends 4 Bundle includes Skullgirls, Reus for only $3.49

Dreamweaver: I’m not sure what pouring whiskey down there is going to do, but you’re probably going to need a lot of it.

From Battleborn’s ‘Lootpocalypse’ promises increased gear drops this weekend

Dreamweaver: Schrodinger’s Loot.

Dreamweaver: …Too real, too real!

From You can request new PokeStops and Gyms for Pokemon Go

Dreamweaver: It’s inside that house.

Dreamweaver: Ignore him, he’s… JustStoppingBy.

(Yes, I did feature this comment solely to make that joke because FUCK YOU, I DO WHAT I WANTS!)

From Azure Striker Gunvolt hits 170,000 downloads on 3DS

Dreamweaver: It’s great to see people of all accounts coming together to make fun of this one person.

From Dtoid will be down for maintenance on Sunday

Dreamweaver: Uh, I didn’t say that! It must’ve been an imposter! Ladies, I’m still a catch!

Dreamweaver: Torchman’s gonna pilot Mike’s mech, alright…


And that’s it for this edition, folks! Don’t forget to check back here again next week for all of the latest and greatest comments! In the meantime, why don’t you shout out which ones you enjoyed in the comment section below?