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Clock Suckers: A very demented and awesome cartoon

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Hamza Aziz
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Published: Jul 25, 2007 10:10 pm

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“What’s up your ass Kate? You love videogames.” 

“I do. I’m just sick of beating you guys all the time. It’s like I’m the Harlem Globetrotters and you guys are two retarded assholes.”

And with that, I think I have fallen in love with a really great new series. Clock Suckers follows the life of Ben, Kate and Tanner. One day, Ben’s crazy inventor uncle dies and Ben gets some of his uncles inventions. Among the inventions, Ben gets a robot, a talking hover cat, a lifetime supply of Ensure and more importantly to the plot, a time machine … which is also a bathtub.

In the latest episode, Ben and Tanner try to create the ultimate hybrid system, the AtaritendoSEGA. Ben and Tanner still need some parts, so they could either go to RadioShack, or just go back in time when the parts to the systems were still being made. Unfortunately for them, the time machine conflicts with the AtaritendoSEGA and they end up traveling into (take a wild freaking guess) a videogame world! From there, they beat the shit out of DigDug, steal Excite’s bike, find out Sonic is addicted to Meth and other funny antics that I would like to describe, but then I’d ruin the entire video. Also, they kill the stars of Two and Half Men. I hate that f*cking show. 

[Thanks to EternalDarkWing and our pals at CollegeHumor.] 

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Hamza Aziz