Celebrating one year since Randy Pitchford’s incomprehensible Battleborn tweet

The gift that keeps on giving

Once more, with feeling!

One year ago, Gearbox announced Battleborn, which sounds pretty cool on its own, I guess. But a regular announcement wasn’t enough. Not for Gearbox president Randy Pitchford. He had to tell us exactly how great Battleborn is. The only problem is that he did so using an ancient language that only the elder gods can understand.

In doing so, something unexpected happened. We read the tweet. We laughed. But then we read it again the next day. And the next. And the next. This tweet housed within itself some sort of arcane magicks, captivating our attention for months. Kyle retweets it regularly. We cannot escape it.

Every time I read it, I had a new favorite part. First it was “hobby-grade.” Aren’t all video games hobby-grade? Next it was “meta-growth.” Um, what? After that it’s the fact that Pitchford defines Battleborn with Battleborn, creating a recursive loop that traps any reader until their sanity drains to nothing. What is Battleborn? It’s a game with Battleborn heroes in it, obviously! Wait, but what are Battleborn heroes? They’re the heroes in Battleborn!

Finally I settled on “choice” being my favorite line in Pitchford’s dark runic poem. Is that supposed to mean choice plays a big role in the game, or is it just a label like the USDA puts on a T-bone steak? I have folded “choice” into my vernacular at this point, appending it to the end of sentences to wrap things up.

So to celebrate the first anniversary since Randy Pitchford uttered the words from the Forbidden Scrolls of Uth’gek, I decided to compose my own utterly nonsensical tweet in the Pitchford style. Feel free to post your own version, if you fear not the wrath of the old ones you may inadvertently summon. Choice.

Darren Nakamura
Darren is a scientist during the day. He has been a Destructoid community member since 2006, joining the front page as a contributor in 2011. While he enjoys shooters, RPGs, platformers, strategy, and rhythm games, he takes particular interest in independent games. He produced the Zero Cool Podcast for about four years, and he plays board games quite a bit when he can find willing companions.