Cakebite hates G4. Who doesn’t?

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Here at Destructoid, we have a soft spot for pretty girls in various states of undress playing video games. If a tattoo could somehow be welded onto our shiny metal hide, it would be of this adorable seal, but if we could have two, it would be of a beautiful young woman enraptured by the glory of Super Mario Bros 3.Cakebite, a site run by former G4 employee The Cooties, not only provides us with the finest in nerd nudity, they also have a scathing article up regarding the rise and fall of G4 and his career therein. While you and I may be able to sit in our luxurious golden armchairs, surrounded by models and caviar (or, in your case, an office chair surrounded by Red Bull and that gross girl from accounting) reminiscing on the failed promise of “what could have been” for the first (and only, at the moment) video game network, this guy was there. He dodged the Red Shells, he brought Morgan Webb coffee, and he was unceremoniously dumped like so much rubbish from the fifth floor window of a Brooklyn apartment building. Hit the jump for highlights.

When G4 began they censored words like suck and refused to show any M rated games in daytime hours. Even at night bloodless head shots wouldn’t make it to air. By the third GPhoria, a monetarily large award show special that has recently humbled itself, that kid-first policy had changed. Nominations where altered to make sure the candidates were the most “adult male tv friendly†(does anyone think Carmen Electra really did the best voice work of the year?). It was that pandering, image-first attitude that hit a lot of nerves. One former G4 executive gave the biting analogy that G4 was like ESPN, if ESPN only interviewed the cheerleaders.

Anyone else like the idea of an all cheerleader network?Yeah … neither do we …

About The Author
Earnest Cavalli
I'm Nex. I used to work here but my love of cash led me to take a gig with Wired. I still keep an eye on the 'toid, but to see what I'm really up to, you should either hit up my Vox or go have a look at the Wired media empire.
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