BREAKING: HOT POCKETS CONFIRMED FOR E3

#HOTPOCKETSFREEatE3

There’s been a lot of speculation whether The Last Guardian or a new Metroid game will make an appearance E3, but one thing we know for sure is HOT POCKETS® will be at the show next week.

Yes, evil corporation Nestle will be parked outside the Los Angeles Convention Center dishing out mirowavable meat pouches to hungry gamers and random passersby desperate for a free lunch.

On the menu are “Snack Bites” and “Breakfast Bites,” which are packed to the gills with premium hickory ham, signature pepperoni, and 100% totally not fake at all cheese. GET FUCKING HYPE!

Or real sad. It’s mildly depressing that companies think we actually like this garbage.

Kyle MacGregor Burleson