Bears’ Devin Hester proves that being a punk-b**** will get you everywhere

EA has never been the most scrupulous of companies, but one of their latest moves makes me question why the all-seeing eye of Xenu has not yet seen fit to burn the whole place to the ground.

The Chicago Bears’ KR, Devin Hester, wasn’t exactly thrilled with the way EA portrayed him in previous versions of their Madden football titles, so he took it upon himself to do what any overpaid, undereducated man who makes a living by hurting others and avoiding drug convictions would do; he whined like a seven year old girl with a skinned knee. EA, in turn, responded in the way that any company chronically guilty of lacking any creativity, and of milking the unassuming public in a bid to fill their own coffers with as many dollars, doubloons and pints of blood as possible would do; they capitulated, and changed Mr. Hester’s speed rating in the newest iteration of Madden to an astoundingly perfect 100.

To put this move in perspective, here is a partial list of people who have previously received speed ratings of less than 100 in EA titles: Deion Sanders, Randy Moss, Carl Lewis (John Madden’s Berlin Olympics: Lewis vs Der Führer 1936), Hermes (John Madden Presents: The Greek Pantheon), and Dandelion (John Madden’s Watership Down).

[Via Kotaku

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Earnest Cavalli
I'm Nex. I used to work here but my love of cash led me to take a gig with Wired. I still keep an eye on the 'toid, but to see what I'm really up to, you should either hit up my Vox or go have a look at the Wired media empire.
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