Another N-Gage? Nokia is run by hamsters, stupid hamsters [Update]

First, let me say that this news comes from The Register, so take it with a grain of salt, but apparently Nokia, the cellphone giant behind the previous two iterations of the handheld abortion The N-Gage, has decided that catastrophic failure simply COULDN’T happen a third time as they plan to release yet another handheld that no one will buy.Why they think it will succeed this time is anyone’s guess, but most industry insiders assume it has to do with heavy narcotics use.Hit the jump for more dumbfounding details.[Update: This is actually sort of old news that has resurfaced. Nokia showed off this technology back in May during E3. I have video of the actual engine that was shown to me in a tech demo — Robert Summa]

Perhaps the main reason to take the platform seriously is that it seems that Sony will publish games on it, despite competing with Nokia in various fields. The original N-Gage was launched in 2003 and was discontinued in 2004 when the redesigned N-Gage QD model replaced it. The QD was itself discontinued this year, and there are no first generation N-Gage games in development any more, as Nokia prepares for Next Gen.

Sony, a company known most recently for mind-bogglingly terrible business decisions seems to be their main reason for thinking this is going to be an exciting new gaming platform. Maybe they haven’t seen the PSP sales numbers …There is currently no release date for the new N-Gage, but one could safely assume it will be released 3 months prior to it’s utter failure.(Editor’s Note: If I ever have a daughter, I want her to be exactly as precocious as that adorable little girl in the above N-Gage ad. If I have two, I’ll probably have them fight to the death for my affection. — Nex)(Niero’s Note: I support Nokia’s monetization so they can continue hiring women that look like this at events we frequent)

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Earnest Cavalli
I'm Nex. I used to work here but my love of cash led me to take a gig with Wired. I still keep an eye on the 'toid, but to see what I'm really up to, you should either hit up my Vox or go have a look at the Wired media empire.