China outlaws any new internet cafes; the zerg have won

Almost certainly in response to the deaths caused in recent years due to Chinese gamers spending far more time than is healthy playing video games in public internet cafes, the Beeb reports that China has banned the creation of any new ones, at least this year. Considering that China already has around 113,000 cafes and bars specifically designed to appeal to the average Chinese person’s desire to escape, however momentarily, the oppressive, communist regime they exist within, the problem of Internet addiction won’t exactly be extinguished, but Chinese authorities hope they can stem the rising tide of what they see as an epidemic before it kills more of their countrymen than Genghis Khan and man-eating panda bears combined.

It all seems very altruistic and right-minded, doesn’t it? Sure it does! Right up until you realize that China has one of the world’s worst records on censorship, especially of the Internet, and that removing people’s ability to connect with the world, even in its currently censored form, is just one more way to oppress and subjugate an already put-upon proletariatian population. If it wasn’t for all the deadly panda bears, I would so punch China in the nose for this.