The official Kingdom Come store has recently started selling Kingdom Come – Eau de Parfum, the game’s official perfume, by Kitsugi Perfumes. Yeah, it’s a real thing—if you can afford it.
What are the strangest examples of video game merchandise you can think of? A few immediately come to mind, but, in recent memory, at least, it’s hard to beat cologne from a game about burly men who probably believe bathing actually makes you more likely to catch the plague. But yeah, you can totally get the Kingdom Come cologne and, given how weird the market is these days, I’m wondering if this is going to go completely ignored, or at least become a hit with the scalpers.
The official Kingdom Come merch store describes the perfume as:
“Centuries pass, kingdoms rise and fall, yet the essence of presence remains unchanged. It is not claimed in words. It begins before a single one is spoken. In ages of iron, smoke, and ash, those who carried a noble scent were set apart, as if they were meant to be followed. Today, armor may evolve into tailored suits, horses into machines, yet charisma obeys the same rules it always has. You are perceived through how you make others feel, and nothing shapes that feeling more instantly than scent. It is timeless. Those who understand it are remembered ever after.”
And that’s the short version; there’s a lot more talk about all the flowers and all sorts of possibly mystical things used to make this, such as olibanum, worn leather, and dry papyrus. All great-smelling stuff, I’m sure.
And, though I’ve been jesting for a while, the perfume kind of makes sense. Thematically, at least. The site goes on to explain that Perfumer Martin Švach actually based his work on the many flowers, fruits, and honey that protagonist Henry gathers in Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 to concoct healing potions. That’s actually neat, though it raises another possible issue for me, one that can be fixed if the package features a huge warning sign with “do not drink!” written on it. Still, I might be greatly underestimating the intelligence of the people who’d spend nearly $200 bucks on Eau du Gameur.
With all that being said, I must admit to having written a misleading title for this very serious topic. In truth, I’d much rather get an Esquie plushie. Like, perfume is a French thing, and even the very French Expedition 33 devs know that what gamers really need is cute fluffy stuff, not an “alternative” to showering.
I am curious, though, if you’re in the EU, will you be getting your Kingdom Come scent any time soon?
