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#Also cocks

Promoted cock blog photo
From our community  

Promoted blog: Gaming's greatest cocks

[Destructoid turned seven this past Saturday, and all month long Dtoiders have been reminiscing about their time with the site over in our Community Blogs. Here's Handy's little dandy. Show us yours! --Mr Andy Dixon] We have a little saying...

 
Etrian Odyssey IV photo
Etrian Odyssey IV

Etrian Odyssey IV will get you stiff

Dale North's review is taking forever because he keeps getting distracted by sh*t like this. [Swagtoise's Tumblr via Tiny Cartridge]

 
HAWP photo
HAWP

HAWP: Oh Ash, your diplomacy is so thick and hard

This is... well... umm... you know what? I'm not even going to explain it. The latest Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'? is brilliance, plain and simple. Go watch it and have a good laugh or two. Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'? - Civilization V [GameTrai...

 
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Goodbye, Destructoid

As some of you may or may not have heard, this is officially my last day with Destructoid. Man ... I can barely type that without getting upset. I am starting a new job next week at GolinHarris as a writer for Nintendo. It is an absolute dr...

 
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The DTOID Show: Assassin's Creed DLC, Star Wars, & Porno

On today's completely professional, mature, and otherwise not stupid or embarrassing Destructoid Show, we discuss some very serious topics. First, a season pass is announced for Assassin's Creed III, and the first DLC will be set in an alt...

 
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YouPorn 'now on' Xbox, welcomes 'Xbox Masturbators'

Sometimes this job is boring, and sometimes YouPorn sends Destructoid a press release, excitedly telling us that its streaming sex video services is coming to Xbox Live. Of course, what it actually means is that, with Internet Explorer comi...

 
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Destructoid Community Meetup Photos!

Yeah we're a web site, but we are also a collective of fleshy sacks of meat and blood that play video games together and drink sometimes!  In an effort to centralize our random adventures and always have a place to show random photos a...

 
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Swordfight will get your joystick hard

I stand corrected. This is the weirdest story of the weekend! If you read Joseph Leray's "Nordic New Wave" feature from the other week, you ought to be familiar with Johann Sebastian Joust, a game using accelerometer-powered controllers and...

 
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Namco Bandai pulls penis-flavored SoulCalibur V ad

[Update: So apparently it is not real. Stupid sexy Voldo!] Namco Bandai recently pulled an advert for SoulCalibur V after fans complained that it was too offensive. No, it wasn't the magazine page featuring ginormous breasts. It was an post...

 
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The DTOID Show: Our Top Gaming Moments Of 2011!

Merry Christmas, everybody! I'm gonna keep this short because idiot thought it was a good idea to put a small tree in my house and then leave a bunch of presents sitting under it, so I need to go get rid of that crap before anybody trips on...

 
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While we're all waiting for that hotly anticipated Saints Row: The Third review, it's easy to forget that Volition Inc. has something else coming to market -- the official Saints Row: The Third Dildo Baseball Bat.  Fortu...   read

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Fruit Ninja Kinect unleashes my ninja penis

I refused to rearrange my living room to play Fruit Ninja in my girlfriend's tiny San Francisco flat, so after a few failed attempts at calibration I just jumped behind the sofa, causing my body to turn into a floating severed torso.  ...

 
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When eroges get motion controls

According to Maniac, the Japanese developer Tech Arts is working on a title called 3D Custom Girl, which will be released at the end of October. The women present in the game cover pretty much every single Anime cliché in the book. T...

 
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Skyrim demo sends woman into labor

[Update: Chaz and Stevi joined us in the Outer Heaven chat last night (Chaz has been following Destructoid for years) and we got the chance to talk with the soon-to-be parents. Because of the pregnancy, the wedding (planned for this past we...

 
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Octocock

Ladies and gentlemen, it would appear that The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D will feature Cthulhu's penis as a regular enemy. 

 
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As some of you know, I love to write features on this site. It’s kind of my favorite thing ever, outside of dolphins ... or Showgirls ... or punching old ladies in the face. Well, you get the point. I love writing featu...   read

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The Elder Scrolls V: Penisfinger

Thanks to the Destructoid community blogs, I now cannot look at this formerly beautiful screenshot of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim without seeing a terrible truth. That truth is the unquestionable penisfinger standing proud on the end of tha...

 
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Destructoid shirts will protect your torso from sun rays!

Sun rays are bad! Didn't you know? The government secretly created videogames to keep people inside and away from the sun after all. Still, you sometimes have to leave the the house for things like candy brain fuel. Lucky for you, Destructo...

 
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Hey! Watch this episode of This Week in Videogames!

Last week I was a guest on web talk show This Week in Videogames. I am not posting this video of the episode to put the focus on me – I can’t even watch myself on video for more than five seconds without throwing up. I really w...

 
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Here is Sega's game machine, control it with your pee

I don't know who it was that came up with the idea to paint a little fly or dot or target on the inside bowl of your average public urinal, but he (or she) was a genius. It took advantage of man's need to urinate, and combined it with man...

 
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Tune in to GameTrailers TV tonight to see me NAKED!

Not really. I have a t-shirt on. I just can’t wait for my parents to Google my name and see that headline show up in the results. But I will be on GameTrailers TV tonight! I was one of the “gaming experts” (fan...

 
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Gather around old man Niero: Destructoid turns four

Friday night, 11pm at the Destructoid + Astro party:   "HEY! HEEEEY! SHUT UP! YOU! QUIEEEET!" Then, again, somehow in unison: "SHUT THE F**K UP! WE'RE GOING TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT!" (Here's the party in pictures) Today marks a...

 
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Gears of Whores is a real thing and is utterly dismaying

"Finally, porn for the XXX-treme gamer in you!" Not my words, but the words of GearsOfWhores.com, a new Web site dedicated to gamer porn. Of course, by gamer porn I mean, "low budget porn stars doing their normal sex but wearing headsets wh...

 
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A Dtoider won that No More Heroes 2 t-shirt contest!

I've been sitting on this info for a little while, waiting to get a proper screen grab of the two winning t-shirts in action, but my screen grabbing equipment sucks and I can't wait any longer. So here there are, the two winners of the No M...

 
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Analyzing No More Heroes 2, part 1: The bosses

[These posts on No More Heroes 2 are purely speculation. I have no idea what the team at Grasshopper Manufacture intended for the game to mean; I can only speak to what I've taken away from it, so if you don't enjoy potentially bullsh*t int...

 
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Jeff Minter pitches Video Game Hero

Space Giraffe developer and notorious industry whingebag Jeff Minter has been hard at work on a new game that he is hoping to pitch to Activision. Not really, but his idea for Video Game Hero could be a pretty good prospect nonetheless. Sur...

 
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Genitals ruin Christmas with help from PSP

Shon Goodman of Omaha, Nebraska thought he had his holiday shopping all worked out when he picked up the used PSP at a local store. Little did he know that the handheld contained a horrible secret that would destroy Christmas for his ten ye...

 
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From our community  

Handys X-mas X-travaganza begins now!

[Handy created this awesome Destructoid themed Christmas poem! Merry Christmas from everyone at Destructoid!] It’s that time of year again. The time of year when we forget about all our problems and just try to enjoy ourselves for one...

 
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ESRB: Dante's Inferno contains demon penis

Oh yes, it's that time again! Time for another brilliant ESRB rating. We've had Street Fighter IV's flexed gluteus, Mass Effect 2's future blouse, and Final Fantasy XIII's breast side portions. Now the ESRB has given us the most amazing men...

 
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The return of the F**khead: No More Heroes 2 ESRB listing

We haven't heard too much about No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle lately, which had me worried that the game wasn't going to make its January 2010 launch date. Seeing the ESRB rating for the game has put those worries to rest. Unless the...

 

Jonathan HolmesFeatured blogger

"Where do dreams end and reality begin? Videogames, I suppose."- Gainax, FLCL Vol. 1 "The beach, the trees, even the clouds in the sky... everything is build from little tiny pieces of stuff. Ju...

 

Reviews

Kathy Rain"'I'm gonna haul ass to Lollapalooza!'"

 

Battleborn"Ready to Die"

 

Uncharted 4: A Thief's End"Sic parvis magna"

 

SteelSeries Siberia 350 USB headset"Like wearing a hissing cloud"

 

Pocket Card Jockey"Think of them as big greyhounds"

 

Bazaar"No, not that Magic Carpet"

 

Thrustmaster TMX Force Feedback Wheel"Basically the T150, but for Xbox One and PC"

 

Fragments of Him"Great writing and performances, terrible pacing and gameplay"

 

Push Me Pull You"Playing Nightcrawlers"

 

Chronos"I keep getting older, but they stay the same age"

 
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DISCUSSIONS | setupPosts by everyone - post yours

OverlordZetta

Its kind of sad when a topic goes without mention or coverage on a site for a while and youre actually relieved since you know just how it would have turned So much for that,

 
Nathan D

Evangelion movies are on sale at Rightstuf for Mothers I guess they figure the purest form of love between a mother and son is a good old fashioned Oedipus

 
LinkSlayer64

So, me in a

 
Niero

Watching Uncharted 4 commercials before buying a Neo like

 
JcDent

I wish for a Space Station 13 game with better controls and maybe a little less jumbled coding-onset I miss being an assistant and trying to steal EVA suits in every /tg/station best

 
OrochiLeona

Im a I have one desire, to keep your character alive and well as long and as efficiently as Thats all I want to Would it really be all that much drama for you to just *maybe* attempt to do the same for me?

 
Dreggsao

One thing about Overwatch sucks: that most of the players at the moment are

 
Amna Umen

Buried in the muck and mire of a slapfight comment section was this gift to you #CaucusForOuyaSanders #RallyForAContestedE3

 
SpielerDad

Today, a Lizard Person pretending to be a human that are my coworkers attempted to tell me a They have discovered the human concept of THEY ARE EVOLVING!

 
Gundy

The managers have come to their senses and I am now free from the floral All is right with the

 
Geese Wilson

Neo Cortex Voice Actor May Have Teased Crash Bandicoots Revival On PS4

 
Scrustle

Dtoid REALLY needs to sort out its mobile Opening another web page or even opening an entirely different app is just Posting QPs is more of a pain than it should be in this tiny box

 
ShadeOfLight

With 7 out of 8 badges, the run is still going strong with no major deaths The team is holding up very well, but Musclina the Machoke has yet to impress As much as I like Fighting types, she may get

 
Dr Mel

Etymology is my thing, folks, if you didnt already It lets me hold no end of boring party conversations like how the word lord and lady derive ultimately from loaf and highlight the great importance of making bread in early

 
Jiraya

You know what day is this right? Meow !

 
ZombZ

I just noticed I already broke the 1000 comments I hope you are entertained! #shitposting

 
RenaudB90

So what was up with War Machine punting a baby ? That was

 
OrochiLeona

2sexy4you #90shotcgi #bubblebutt #deadeyes

 
ZombZ

Having played countless hours of Overwatch so far, Id like to give you a short Its my honest opinion and its not gonna sit well if all of you, but Im just edgy like that Anyway here goes nothing: Tracers butt is too small to care

 
YT

Its the goddamn Silver Make sure you buy this come Autumn, because thats the only way were going to get a remake of 25 Ward, YA HEAR ME

 
Jed Whitaker

Climb in the Jed mobile

 
OrochiLeona

Anyone else seeing that Bad Neighbours 2 banner? Jesus, movie posters are the Never forget someone got paid for

 
The Dyslexic Laywer

I like how most kung fu movies can be summed up as white people are evil

 
jake oti

Fire Emblem Fates reacquired! Debating if I want to put a pause on Bravely Second (hah!) or finish it before getting back to

 
Pixie The Fairy

Been catching up on the GX3 panels now that most of them are The Bayonetta one is really

 
Oridan

Chromie is one of my favorite Warcraft characters, so Im happy about her inclusion in Listen to her adorable voice acting in WoD! Every days great at your Bronze Dragonshrine!

 
JcDent

Mod support for Total War: Warhammer means that well have the most beautiful Lord of the Rings game

 
JcDent

And Games Workshop shall cast them into the furnace of FAQ; there shall be wailing and gnashing of

 
Jinx 01

Thought it was Wednesday today so I didnt go see Civil Going 11:40AM Friday morning, I hear its fantastic!

 
Torchman

Welp, words cannot describe how great Captain America Civil War God damn I may go see it a second

 

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