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DESTRUCTOID, EST. IN 2006, IS AN INDEPENDENT NEWS COMPANY. WE ARE GAME CRITICS. OUR COMMUNITY IS RAW, VOCAL, AND HARDCORE <3
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Review: Saints Row: The Third Dildo Baseball Bat photo
Review: Saints Row: The Third Dildo Baseball Bat
by Jim Sterling

While we're all waiting for that hotly anticipated Saints Row: The Third review, it's easy to forget that Volition Inc. has something else coming to market -- the official Saints Row: The Third Dildo Baseball Bat

Fortunately, Destructoid got its hands on what may be the biggest consumer product this holiday season. We took it for a test drive and are proud to reveal this exclusive review! If you're buying any other combination of sports club and external arousal implement, you're definitely getting shafted!

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1:28 PM on 10.29.2011

Fruit Ninja Kinect unleashes my ninja penis

I refused to rearrange my living room to play Fruit Ninja in my girlfriend's tiny San Francisco flat, so after a few failed attempts at calibration I just jumped behind the sofa, causing my body to turn into a floating severed torso.  The result glitch in my Kinect setup causes another limb to come to life. How's that for enhanced male performance?

Niero Gonzalez

8:30 PM on 10.05.2011

When eroges get motion controls

According to Maniac, the Japanese developer Tech Arts is working on a title called 3D Custom Girl, which will be released at the end of October. The women present in the game cover pretty much every single Anime cliché...

Sven Wohl

11:00 PM on 08.06.2011

Skyrim demo sends woman into labor

[Update: Chaz and Stevi joined us in the Outer Heaven chat last night (Chaz has been following Destructoid for years) and we got the chance to talk with the soon-to-be parents. Because of the pregnancy, the wedding (planned f...

Victoria Medina

4:40 PM on 04.15.2011

Octocock

Ladies and gentlemen, it would appear that The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D will feature Cthulhu's penis as a regular enemy. 

Jim Sterling



The future of features on Destructoid photo
The future of features on Destructoid
by Chad Concelmo

As some of you know, I love to write features on this site. It’s kind of my favorite thing ever, outside of dolphins ... or Showgirls ... or punching old ladies in the face. Well, you get the point. I love writing features.

Because of this, I am happy and ridiculously honored to announce that Niero has made me the new Features Editor for Destructoid. Not only do I promise to take this new role very seriously, I have every intention of performing my duties completely topless at all times.

There are a million ideas swirling around in my head about what direction features should take on the site (including many unwanted ones that involve copious amounts of Laguna Loire fan art), but we really want to know what you, the community, would love to see.

So, please, the floor is yours. What kind of original features would you love to see on Destructoid? A healthy mix of the absurd and serious? More videos? Interviews? Top Ten lists? Recurring series? Community blog crossovers? More visits to the zoo? A month of Ekans? We want to get a good sense of the content you all are interested in, so please let us know what you think in the comments!

Also, EXCITED!

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8:00 AM on 04.03.2011

The Elder Scrolls V: Penisfinger

Thanks to the Destructoid community blogs, I now cannot look at this formerly beautiful screenshot of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim without seeing a terrible truth. That truth is the unquestionable penisfinger standing proud on...

Jim Sterling

3:00 PM on 03.29.2011

Destructoid shirts will protect your torso from sun rays!

Sun rays are bad! Didn't you know? The government secretly created videogames to keep people inside and away from the sun after all. Still, you sometimes have to leave the the house for things like candy brain fuel. Lucky for...

Hamza CTZ Aziz

3:40 PM on 01.28.2011

Hey! Watch this episode of This Week in Videogames!

Last week I was a guest on web talk show This Week in Videogames. I am not posting this video of the episode to put the focus on me – I can’t even watch myself on video for more than five seconds without throwing...

Chad Concelmo

11:00 PM on 12.20.2010

Here is Sega's game machine, control it with your pee

I don't know who it was that came up with the idea to paint a little fly or dot or target on the inside bowl of your average public urinal, but he (or she) was a genius. It took advantage of man's need to urinate, and combi...

Josh Tolentino

3:20 PM on 12.09.2010

Tune in to GameTrailers TV tonight to see me NAKED!

Not really. I have a t-shirt on. I just can’t wait for my parents to Google my name and see that headline show up in the results. But I will be on GameTrailers TV tonight! I was one of the “gaming expe...

Chad Concelmo





8:50 PM on 03.16.2010

Gather around old man Niero: Destructoid turns four

Friday night, 11pm at the Destructoid + Astro party:   "HEY! HEEEEY! SHUT UP! YOU! QUIEEEET!" Then, again, somehow in unison: "SHUT THE F**K UP! WE'RE GOING TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT!" (Here's the party in pictures)...

Niero Gonzalez

4:40 PM on 02.18.2010

Gears of Whores is a real thing and is utterly dismaying

"Finally, porn for the XXX-treme gamer in you!" Not my words, but the words of GearsOfWhores.com, a new Web site dedicated to gamer porn. Of course, by gamer porn I mean, "low budget porn stars doing their normal sex but wear...

Jim Sterling

3:00 AM on 02.11.2010

A Dtoider won that No More Heroes 2 t-shirt contest!

I've been sitting on this info for a little while, waiting to get a proper screen grab of the two winning t-shirts in action, but my screen grabbing equipment sucks and I can't wait any longer. So here there are, the two winn...

Jonathan Holmes

8:00 PM on 02.06.2010

Analyzing No More Heroes 2, part 1: The bosses

[These posts on No More Heroes 2 are purely speculation. I have no idea what the team at Grasshopper Manufacture intended for the game to mean; I can only speak to what I've taken away from it, so if you don't enjoy potential...

Jonathan Holmes

2:30 PM on 01.06.2010

Jeff Minter pitches Video Game Hero

Space Giraffe developer and notorious industry whingebag Jeff Minter has been hard at work on a new game that he is hoping to pitch to Activision. Not really, but his idea for Video Game Hero could be a pretty good prospect n...

Jim Sterling