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#Also cocks

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Friday Night Fights - Get Over Here!

Guys, I have a problem. I'm thirsty as hell. Not for some sweet meat slapping, but for blood. Your blood. Someone needs to hit me up on Xbox or PC for some Mortal Kombat X action. I have 9 Komplete on PC as well. LET'S DO THIS THANG! I need...

 
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Friday Night Fights - Goodbye Sweet Prince

I don't even have it in my heart to 'shop your face into those penguin eyes. Our fearless Boner Knight: Andy Dixon is leaving us as Community Manager. From the first time I was an asshole to you Andy, to the last time I was an asshole to yo...

 
Mario Kart dicks photo
From our community  

Who put all these dicks in Mario Kart?

[Where will Dtoid community blogger Hyper Lemon Buster Cannon find dicks next?? --Mr Andy Dixon] You know, if there's one important observation I've noticed throughout the years, it's that if you look hard enough, like really really hard, y...

 
Sporting YP photo
Sporting YP

YouPorn is sponsoring an eSports team

YouPorn, which a cursory Google search tells me is a streaming adult video webpage, has announced its sponsorship of a Spanish eSports team (Hearthstone, League of Legends). Play2Win will now be known as Team YP, which sounds like some...

 
Xbox porn photo
Xbox porn

Hardcore pornography CONFIRMED for Next Xbox

SugarDVD, purveyor of such fine films as What An Asshole and Hairy Asian Schoolgirls Masturbate, has confirmed it'll be bringing its adult entertainment streaming services to Microsoft's next-generation Xbox.  The service is already of...

 
Promoted cock blog photo
From our community  

Promoted blog: Gaming's greatest cocks

[Destructoid turned seven this past Saturday, and all month long Dtoiders have been reminiscing about their time with the site over in our Community Blogs. Here's Handy's little dandy. Show us yours! --Mr Andy Dixon] We have a little saying...

 
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Etrian Odyssey IV

Etrian Odyssey IV will get you stiff

Dale North's review is taking forever because he keeps getting distracted by sh*t like this. [Swagtoise's Tumblr via Tiny Cartridge]

 
HAWP photo
HAWP

HAWP: Oh Ash, your diplomacy is so thick and hard

This is... well... umm... you know what? I'm not even going to explain it. The latest Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'? is brilliance, plain and simple. Go watch it and have a good laugh or two. Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'? - Civilization V [GameTrai...

 
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Goodbye, Destructoid

As some of you may or may not have heard, this is officially my last day with Destructoid. Man ... I can barely type that without getting upset. I am starting a new job next week at GolinHarris as a writer for Nintendo. It is an absolute dr...

 
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The DTOID Show: Assassin's Creed DLC, Star Wars, & Porno

On today's completely professional, mature, and otherwise not stupid or embarrassing Destructoid Show, we discuss some very serious topics. First, a season pass is announced for Assassin's Creed III, and the first DLC will be set in an alt...

 
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YouPorn 'now on' Xbox, welcomes 'Xbox Masturbators'

Sometimes this job is boring, and sometimes YouPorn sends Destructoid a press release, excitedly telling us that its streaming sex video services is coming to Xbox Live. Of course, what it actually means is that, with Internet Explorer comi...

 
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Destructoid Community Meetup Photos!

Yeah we're a web site, but we are also a collective of fleshy sacks of meat and blood that play video games together and drink sometimes!  In an effort to centralize our random adventures and always have a place to show random photos a...

 
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Swordfight will get your joystick hard

I stand corrected. This is the weirdest story of the weekend! If you read Joseph Leray's "Nordic New Wave" feature from the other week, you ought to be familiar with Johann Sebastian Joust, a game using accelerometer-powered controllers and...

 
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Namco Bandai pulls penis-flavored SoulCalibur V ad

[Update: So apparently it is not real. Stupid sexy Voldo!] Namco Bandai recently pulled an advert for SoulCalibur V after fans complained that it was too offensive. No, it wasn't the magazine page featuring ginormous breasts. It was an post...

 
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The DTOID Show: Our Top Gaming Moments Of 2011!

Merry Christmas, everybody! I'm gonna keep this short because idiot thought it was a good idea to put a small tree in my house and then leave a bunch of presents sitting under it, so I need to go get rid of that crap before anybody trips on...

 
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While we're all waiting for that hotly anticipated Saints Row: The Third review, it's easy to forget that Volition Inc. has something else coming to market -- the official Saints Row: The Third Dildo Baseball Bat.  Fortu...   read

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Fruit Ninja Kinect unleashes my ninja penis

I refused to rearrange my living room to play Fruit Ninja in my girlfriend's tiny San Francisco flat, so after a few failed attempts at calibration I just jumped behind the sofa, causing my body to turn into a floating severed torso.  ...

 
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When eroges get motion controls

According to Maniac, the Japanese developer Tech Arts is working on a title called 3D Custom Girl, which will be released at the end of October. The women present in the game cover pretty much every single Anime cliché in the book. T...

 
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Skyrim demo sends woman into labor

[Update: Chaz and Stevi joined us in the Outer Heaven chat last night (Chaz has been following Destructoid for years) and we got the chance to talk with the soon-to-be parents. Because of the pregnancy, the wedding (planned for this past we...

 
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Octocock

Ladies and gentlemen, it would appear that The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D will feature Cthulhu's penis as a regular enemy. 

 
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As some of you know, I love to write features on this site. It’s kind of my favorite thing ever, outside of dolphins ... or Showgirls ... or punching old ladies in the face. Well, you get the point. I love writing featu...   read

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The Elder Scrolls V: Penisfinger

Thanks to the Destructoid community blogs, I now cannot look at this formerly beautiful screenshot of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim without seeing a terrible truth. That truth is the unquestionable penisfinger standing proud on the end of tha...

 
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Destructoid shirts will protect your torso from sun rays!

Sun rays are bad! Didn't you know? The government secretly created videogames to keep people inside and away from the sun after all. Still, you sometimes have to leave the the house for things like candy brain fuel. Lucky for you, Destructo...

 
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Hey! Watch this episode of This Week in Videogames!

Last week I was a guest on web talk show This Week in Videogames. I am not posting this video of the episode to put the focus on me – I can’t even watch myself on video for more than five seconds without throwing up. I really w...

 
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Here is Sega's game machine, control it with your pee

I don't know who it was that came up with the idea to paint a little fly or dot or target on the inside bowl of your average public urinal, but he (or she) was a genius. It took advantage of man's need to urinate, and combined it with man...

 
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Tune in to GameTrailers TV tonight to see me NAKED!

Not really. I have a t-shirt on. I just can’t wait for my parents to Google my name and see that headline show up in the results. But I will be on GameTrailers TV tonight! I was one of the “gaming experts” (fan...

 
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Gather around old man Niero: Destructoid turns four

Friday night, 11pm at the Destructoid + Astro party:   "HEY! HEEEEY! SHUT UP! YOU! QUIEEEET!" Then, again, somehow in unison: "SHUT THE F**K UP! WE'RE GOING TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT!" (Here's the party in pictures) Today marks a...

 
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Gears of Whores is a real thing and is utterly dismaying

"Finally, porn for the XXX-treme gamer in you!" Not my words, but the words of GearsOfWhores.com, a new Web site dedicated to gamer porn. Of course, by gamer porn I mean, "low budget porn stars doing their normal sex but wearing headsets wh...

 
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A Dtoider won that No More Heroes 2 t-shirt contest!

I've been sitting on this info for a little while, waiting to get a proper screen grab of the two winning t-shirts in action, but my screen grabbing equipment sucks and I can't wait any longer. So here there are, the two winners of the No M...

 
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Analyzing No More Heroes 2, part 1: The bosses

[These posts on No More Heroes 2 are purely speculation. I have no idea what the team at Grasshopper Manufacture intended for the game to mean; I can only speak to what I've taken away from it, so if you don't enjoy potentially bullsh*t int...

 

Jonathan HolmesFeatured blogger

"Where do dreams end and reality begin? Videogames, I suppose."- Gainax, FLCL Vol. 1 "The beach, the trees, even the clouds in the sky... everything is build from little tiny pieces of stuff. Ju...

 

Reviews

The Climb"You rock, rock"

 

Soda Drinker Pro"Like explaining an inside joke to someone else"

 

King's Quest: Once Upon a Climb"A tale of two princesses"

 

Stories: The Path of Destinies"Choose your own adventure/death"

 

Koi"Fish out of water"

 

Severed"Cut my life into pieces / Slash into me"

 

ZEN Pinball 2: Aliens vs. Pinball"Not the Alien's most terrifying incarnation"

 

Alienation"Welcome to Earth"

 

Zenge"Slide, slide, slippity slide"

 
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DISCUSSIONS | setupPosts by everyone - post yours

Amna Umen

The gaping dragon is And on my first try too! I got kinda lucky and walked into the room with the Shaman and gimped him as he walked up the stairs so the dragon fight was just a waiting game once his tail was Am I git gud yet?

 
Steven Hansen

all these cat girls just show some of you need to raise your art & animation

 
SeymourDuncan17

Has anyone compared Severed to Skyward Sword yet? Because, if I were to sell it in 5 seconds, so far, Id describe it as Skyward Swords combat done

 
Gamemaniac3434

I have started something Something Soon it will grow through and into It will be a crowning glory in my cap, on the road to conquest of Until we all get bored and go back to our normal I guess

 
GoofierBrute

Just finished Star Fox Loved it, and its a serious contender for Game of the Year for Yeah, you read that

 
taterchimp

Wish gems were easier to find in Dark Souls

 
Torchman

Discord chat has gone full happy ABORT ABORT ABORT, ANIME WAS A MISTAKE

 
vxxyman

More catgirls means more Playboy Penguin (with some backup from good ol Bugs Bunny)

 
Gundy

All dose cat dose

 
Torchman

Shit waifus as far as the eye can

 
Parismio

Thanks to Pixie, I remembered my love for FFXIV

 
KnickKnackMyWack

Todays been a rollercoaster of a day for Ive now got a second job at It looks like Im single now But I also got a voice message from Mike West, the guy who voices Fox McCloud in Star Fox 64/3D and

 
OverlordZetta

Oh yeah, this years Super Sentai has a cat girl, doesnt it? What did she look like Toei I dont think this is what the otaku audience had in mind at

 
JDelwynn

It seems that having children is like Alien Thank god Im single!

 
BlazeWii

Cat girls? CAT GIRLS??? Need I remind you all that there is only enough room in this anime world for one master female

 
Samsneeze

I am struggling to get through Fire Emblem Its all so The characters are The maps are all the The story is even managing to be worse than Awakening I hope Intelligent Systems has its shit together next

 
ChrisHannard

Fully charged controller? Game appropriate drink? Game from a series Ive never played before? Time to Git Gud or Die

 
Kaleido Ruby

All these mentions of catgirls and not a single mention of

 
Pixie The Fairy

I used to be a catgirl Best at what I did,

 
iam16bit

All these posts about Cat Girls and not one from Cat Planet Cuties!

 
KnickKnackMyWack

Since were going on about cat girls, how is it you uncultured swines have yet to bring up Aisha from Outlaw Star?

 
Dangus Taargus

The credits to Star Fox Zero made me tear

 
Gamemaniac3434

Guard your testicles around blaze, Shes a maniac, and her friends are

 
OverlordZetta

Replying to a bunch of stuff from the past couple of days again, so dont mind me if I appear on something from three days I am like the wind! I the Kamen Rider!

 
Dinosir

For as much as I hated the last few bosses in DS3, there are some really Really freakin cool boss And even the ones I hated were really cool in concept just I feel they missed the execution by a

 
BlazeWii

Im not sure how I feel about From Software promoting the castration of It just doesnt seem

 
Rico the Penguin

All thats left is covenant grind and a couple relatively easy bosses, at least compared to what gold covetous +2 ring

 
Nathan D

So many cat girls, so little Oh Rei, you tease!

 
AdmiralAckbong

Today Im going to a screening of Blood Simple with a Q&A from the Coen Bros Trying not to poop

 
Sarah Jane Farron

Theres been lots of talk of cat I play a cat lady in FFXIV so Ill post my character! I really need to get back to this

 

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