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#The Jimquisition


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Jimquisition: Damn Fine Coffee

How do you like your coffee? Blacker than midnight on a moonless night? Or is that just what you want people to think? Asking consumers what coffee they drink is a fine example of demonstrating exactly how problematic a focus group can be ...

 
 
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Jimquisition: When The Starscreams Kill Used Games

The Xbox One will kill used games and control second-hand sales, and some people think that's great. Jim Sterling is not among them. While members of the gaming media attempt to see the positive side of murdering the used game market and s...

 
 
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Jimquisition: Xbox One out of Ten

The Xbox One was revealed this weak to thunderous applause. Oh wait, did we say applause? We meant, farts. Thunderous farts. Speaking of farts, here's a man who loves the smell of his, tearing Microsoft's unified entertainment philosophy t...

 
 
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Jimquisition: Guns Blazing

Dark Souls 2 is all about going in, guns blazing, and hoping to God it works. Oh dear. Namco Bandai's PR chief recently shone a spectacular light on the broken mentality of "AAA" publishers, describing the promotion of high profile ga...

 
 
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Jimquisition: Objectification And ... Men?

A common argument in the ongoing debate over gender and videogames is that women and men both are equally objectified. Is that really true? As always, Emperor God King Jim Sterling puts His holy foot down and delivers wisdom true to the ma...

 
 
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Jimquisition: Lawsuits, Memes, and Tasty Medicine

Warner Bros. and 5th Cell are facing a lawsuit over the inclusion of Keyboard Cat and Nyan Cat in Scribblenauts. Preposterous, you say? Greedy, are the meme makers? I say well done them! It's absolutely about time Warner Bros. got a t...

 
 
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Jimquisition: Boob Wars and Dragon Crowns

Dragon's Crown has become the latest game involved in a big argument. Big boobs, burly dwarves, and Kotaku were all involved. Gender issues in games are important. They are worth thinking about. They are, contrary to popular belief, f...

 
 
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Jimquisition: Among the Sleep

Among the Sleep is an upcoming horror game, all about being a two-year-old child. Yeah, it's spooky! The game's currently trying to get Kickstarter funding and, unlike many Kickstarters, your ol' pal Jim Sterling thinks it h...

 
 
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Jimquisition: Perfect Pasta Sauce

This week, Jimquisition gives you a brief lesson in pasta sauce, and ties it into the misguided quest for perfection currently plaguing the so-called "AAA" title scene. Expanding on a few ideas found in last week's episode, today...

 
 
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Jimquisition: Dark Souls and Dark Sales

Dark Souls sold over two million copies and is a bonafide success. Tomb Raider sold over three million copies and is a disappointing failure. Wut? Different projects obviously have different standards for success, but the di...

 
 
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Jimquisition: Why An Always-On DRM Console Is Dumb

Just talking about an "always-on" Xbox is a really dumb idea. Hopefully not even Microsoft would be so stupid, but just in case any of the platform holders are seriously considering this awful, nasty little idea, let Jimquis...

 
 
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Jimquisition: The Creepy Cull of Female Protagonists

The game industry doesn't want female characters. That is allegedly the message publishers have been sending to developers. As female characters get hidden from the front covers of games and projects with leading ladies are passed over in ...

 
 
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Jimquisition: Innovation - Gaming's Snake Oil

There's nothing wrong with a game that innovates. There's everything wrong with a game that goes out of its way to innovate without reason. Like any tool, innovation is neither good nor bad, and it has its specific uses. However, some deve...

 
 
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Jimquisition: SimShitty

DRM is back again, and it's here to stay! Games are a service, so we're told, but who do they really serve? SimCity's failure to launch thanks to ludicrous DRM restrictions has been the hot topic of the week, and naturally there's a J...

 
 
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Jimquisition: New Generation, Old Bullsh*t

The PlayStation 4 was announced last week, but Sterling wasn't quite feeling the buzz. The PS4 is interesting, Sony's plans are promising, but the industry itself, and the culture of business around console games? THAT is what needs a new ...

 
 
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Jimquisition: Previewed, Preordered, Prescrewed

Preorder culture expects gamers to trust developers more than ever, but how does that work when they inspire so little faith? The "take cash now, provide content later" tactic is currently serving companies well, but with recent disappoint...

 
 
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Jimquisition: A-LIE-ns: Colonial Marines

Waking through Gearbox's walkthrough of Aliens: Colonial Marines. That is, the Aliens: Colonial Marines Gearbox wanted the world to believe in, not the one that actually happened. While demo footage is not representative of the f...

 
 
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Jimquisition: Companies Exist to Make Money

Jimquisition's had it wrong all this time. Videogame companies exist to make money, so it was foolish to ever suggest their anti-consumer policies are awful, reckless, and deserving of criticism. That was all sarcasm, just then.

 
 
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Jimquisition: Breaking the Bones of Business

A new business model comes along, designed to attract gamers with interesting ideas and consumer-friendly pricing. The old businesses latch onto it. The old businesses pervert it to suit their own miserable ends. Free-to-play? Mobile gamin...

 
 
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Jimquisition: Accepting the Isms

Games are racist. Games are homophobic. Games are sexist. And that's okay! Well, maybe not OKAY, but it is alright to acknowledge that, sometimes, videogames get it wrong. Everybody gets it wrong, and games can't be the exception. When som...

 
 
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Jimquisition: Only the Lonely

The videogame industry wants you to believe that the offline experience is for miserable loners. Lonely is bad. Lonely is sad. Lonely people want lonely games because they don't have any friends. Only the lonely want to be disconnected, an...

 
 
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Jimquisition: Desensitized to Violence

Warning -- Contains graphic content. If you don't want to see disturbing Internet things, skip the footage starting at 1:20 and ending at 1:49.  As the mainstream news media continues to revel in the Sandy Hook shootings, its pundits ...

 
 
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Jimquisition: Epic Hole (B Mine Cliffy)

Over a year ago, Cliff Bleszinski (then of Epic Games) and myself had a public falling out and have never traded a word since. Ever a man of peace and goodwill, I hereby extend the olive branch the only way I know how -- with a little help...

 
 
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Jimquisition: The Sh*tiest games of 2012

There's something to be said for tradition, and the Jimquisition's most sacred tradition is the year-end evisceration of the very worst games released. Quake in fear, O ye creatively impoverished fools! Presented to you with a slight ...

 
 
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Jimquisition Awards Game of the Year: The Walking Dead

The final Jimquisition Award is here! Four days have passed, four winners have been crowned. Now is time to hail the game of the year. This is 2012's ultimate champion. Was there any doubt as to what it was?

 
 




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Silver the 3rd

Damn it, why is this advertising so It makes me feel too much for no reason

 
JcDent

What do you imagine when you hear the words Call of Duty: Black Ops 4? Tacticool bank high speed cop aviator 70s Hes out of his mind, clinically insane

 
LaTerry

In case you wanted something to melt your heart this

 
Hypno

Hang in there Phil, my father, my first lover, my captain my May your immense girth fight off all that ails you, and may you be blessed with hookers and blackjack and

 
Boxman214

Bernie announced his presidential Im genuinely I didnt think hed want to run again after all the shit he went through last

 
Games and Stuff

Following up on yesterdays post, I kept getting told that Loli shouldnt be banned because free The argument was Im against Loli but free speech is free speech and it isnt hurting Yeah, its still defending something

 
homeoftheblues

A professor has found his childhood Apple IIe in working condition in his parents On the floppies he found a letter from his dad, games with the saves intact, and all kinds of

 
JcDent

A bonafide WWI soldier

 
Shroedingerscat

Just watched this A man who created the mod is genius!

 
lokhe

Despite my tepid feelings towards Anthem I cant help but feel the tiniest inclination to play it simply because the Interceptor looks so god damn

 
 

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