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#Destructoid Golden Archives


The tragic history of the videogame turkey

[From our Destructoid Golden Archives, here's a Chad Concelmo classic from this day in Dtoid, 2009] The other day I was driving down the street, when a large feather from a rusty white truck transporting turkeys blew into my Jeep window. Af...


Blast from the past: Destructoid's Mega Man Maker

This little app was originally published during PAX 2008 during a panel we gave about how important it is to create original content when starting your own gaming site. The music was made by Dale North, and all of the sprite art by the...


I want to have sex with Carmen Sandiego

[Originally published on Destructoid back in 2006! Some photos were lost/replaced, otherwise minor edits made. A Burch classic! For dumb people: this is satire - Niero.] 3D-Rendered, big-buxomed women with identical blank stares do absolute...

showing you his Pokemons photo

Why Ekans is the best Pokemon

[Published in 2010, this classic Destructoid moment from Jim delivers the facts you need today.  - Niero] There are almost 500 Pokémon in the world, and that's a lot. With so many unique and varied pocket monsters out ...


Hot Mess: 10 Years of Destructoid party photos

There's something about the Mr. Destructoid helmet that brings out the animal in people. I've seen sheepish tiny McChicken-like boys turn into fearless crotch-thrusters, running up on stages and doing what three shots of Jager could not aff...

Look, we drink photo

10 Years of Destructoid: Get krunk with Mr. Destructoid

[This article was originally published in 2010 -- We miss you, Hollie!] It is a well known fact that a large percentage of the Destructoid community likes to drink. I may or may not have been escorted home drunk by Niero at PAX in fact. S...

Deck my Pokeballs photo

Holiday music to jam to with your gaming family

Happy holidays, HAPPY HOLIDAYS!  It is that time of year when you annoy entertain your family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, and unsuspecting opponents on Xbox Live with your holiday music. As a professional at annoying entertai...

Bowie lookalikes photo

Videogame characters that look like David Bowie

[From our Golden Archives: here's our most popular story of the day back in 2009. -N] David Bowie, born David Robert Jones on January 8, 1947, is an English musician, actor, producer and arranger. Having been active in the entertainment ind...

Super Mario movie photo

Why the Super Mario movie is an underappreciated masterpiece

[Ed. note: El Great Burcho published this on February 2007. It's one of our Golden favorites.] No, I'm not being ironic, or corny, or funny. Neither am I drunk, stoned, nor under the influence of outside forces requiring me to like the Supe...

Where are they now? photo

Where are they now? Ex-Destructoid editors in the biz

As some of you may have heard by now, Dale North (our editor in chief from 2010-2014) will be moving on to sunnier, though less 'toidy skies. You can read that announcement here. It's no secret that Dale and I have definitely punched each ...

100% Zelda retrospective photo

100% Series Retrospective: The Legend of Zelda

[Want to read about every Zelda game in this daunting quest by Chris? Check out the first ever Carter's Quest entry. -N] Halfway through beating Ocarina of Time 3D, I had a pretty neat thought: I decided that in honor of Zelda's 25th annive...

Haggar for President photo

Citizens, unite: vote Mike Haggar

[Another gem from Destructoid's Golden Archives, this our most popular story of April 2008] As you’ve no doubt been following the prospective U.S. presidential nominees, you must be asking yourself several questions: Who should I...

Everyone is gay photo

Ten golden rules of online gaming

[Destructoid turns 7 next week! Here's our most popular article from January 2009, one of Jim's first features. Check out more of our earlier works in our Golden Archives. -Niero] People have been hunched over their PCs, firing rockets into...

Game quotes photo

The ten most meaningful videogame quotes of all time

[This month, Destructoid turns 7 years old! Here's the top article of this weekend back in 2008. You can browse more of these in our Golden Archives. Nostalgic yet? -Niero] Call me a weakling, but it's been more or less forever since I last...

Mario is sinister photo

Six sinister things about Super Mario

[Destructoid turns 7 on March 16, 2013! I'm celebrating early by repairing some of my favorite articles from our Wordpress days. You'll be able to browse this original collection soon -- "Destructoid's Golden Archives" is hereby instituted ...

From our community  

Ramblings of a colorblind gamer

You may or may not know that I am red-green colorblind. Money looks grey to me, pink looks white, brown looks green. No big thing. Since I was born colorblind, I have no frame of reference for how the world is "supposed" to look and, theref...


Videogames that make you feel godly

Videogames provide the perfect tools for pure escapism or utter powerlessness. As a fully interactive media, the player can be as involved as the developer in the fate of our characters, or we can be utterly impotent in swaying our destiny,...


The REAL top ten games of the decade

You've doubtless read by now the "official" top ten games of the decade, or indeed any of the top ten game lists that have spilled onto the Internet as the so-called "naughties" ends and 2010 ushers in yet another arbitrarily assigned ten-y...


Rev Rant: Donate

Every week, "Reverend" Anthony Burch talks about aspects of game design and gamer culture in his weekly "Rev Rant" video series. Admittedly, this week's rant turned out a lot more angry and weirdly serious than the other ones I've done -- ...


How Killzone 2 is blatantly better than Halo 3

Killzone 2 launched exclusively for the PlayStation 3 this Friday, generating much bias from biased people who are biased. It also sold quite a few copies and has been setting the PlayStation Network afire with grenade spam and shotgun ramp...

 from  our Community Blogs

The Videogame Bosses' Guide to Success

So you aspire to be a roadblock in the path of every hero, a hulking shadow that ominously hangs over the hopes and dreams of normal people, the guy that makes babies squall at your very approach. I know you. You've turned many a pleasant g...

 from  our Community Blogs

Reviews   filter by...

Tomb Raider"Not nearly enough rebar through the abdomen"


Jessica Jones (Season 2)"You thought it couldn't get darker?"


Yakuza 6: The Song of Life"The End of a Saga"


Warhammer: Vermintide 2"Bring on the ratmen"


Surviving Mars"Fourth Rock from the Sun"


Kirby Star Allies"HIIIIIIIIII"


Q.U.B.E. 2"Can confirm, it has a sphere or two"


Community Blogs | expand


Quickposts expand | +quickpost


After all that preparation to try and NOT get spoiled for Star Allies my phone decides to put nothing but the 3 people I blocked on my feed with the final boss in the This has happened to me with BoTW and Odyssey now and Im so


I dont like posting back to back like this but the Japanese eShop is listing The Adventures of Bartram Fiddle episode 1 for March 29th so thats probably gonna be on the nindies It isnt rusty lake but it is on my steam

Electric Reaper

Okay, this looks pretty I just hope well get weapons other than what existed or easily could have existed in real The 2018-2019 shooter season seems to be looking rather varied and


I had a bit of fun watching Gamemaniac and Limos Limo has a sexy ass voice, a really cool Gamemaniac is just Seymour is funny Subscribe people!


The poll was actually to determine where I ordered dinner I was gonna do Dominos (the current lead) but pizza hut was less than half the So we had pizza

Inquisitive Ravenclaw

I know most people probably arent, but Im pretty excited for a possible Sonic R Just think of the music!

CaimDark Reloaded

How important is elderseal against elder dragons and how do I know when its actually doing anything? Is it useful enough that high elderseal is better than a bit more raw damage?


I’m having a serious My 4 year old sucks at Super Mario I’m seriously worried for the little How will he ever be able to have a full, enriching life with video games if he can’t even properly make Yoshi puke fireballs?


Okie Dokie! Ive watched a few reviews and Ive watched a few reveal trailers and Ive written up something thats pretty short compared to my other CBlogs about the next Smash Bros! Itll be up Also, Im totally not a


Nintendo charged me four times for DQ Builders today, and bthe install never showed Called my bank, and they had Nintendo CS # at the Got it refunded, but



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