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#Destructoid Golden Archives


showing you his Pokemons photo
showing you his Pokemons

Why Ekans is the best Pokemon

[Published in 2010, this classic Destructoid moment from Jim delivers the facts you need today.  - Niero] There are almost 500 Pokémon in the world, and that's a lot. With so many unique and varied pocket monsters out ...   read

 
 
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Hot Mess: 10 Years of Destructoid party photos

There's something about the Mr. Destructoid helmet that brings out the animal in people. I've seen sheepish tiny McChicken-like boys turn into fearless crotch-thrusters, running up on stages and doing what three shots of Jager could not aff...   read

 
 
Look, we drink photo
Look, we drink

10 Years of Destructoid: Get krunk with Mr. Destructoid

[This article was originally published in 2010 -- We miss you, Hollie!] It is a well known fact that a large percentage of the Destructoid community likes to drink. I may or may not have been escorted home drunk by Niero at PAX in fact. S...   read

 
 
Deck my Pokeballs photo
Deck my Pokeballs
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Holiday music to jam to with your gaming family

Happy holidays, HAPPY HOLIDAYS!  It is that time of year when you annoy entertain your family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, and unsuspecting opponents on Xbox Live with your holiday music. As a professional at annoying entertai...   read

 
 
Bowie lookalikes photo
Bowie lookalikes

Videogame characters that look like David Bowie

[From our Golden Archives: here's our most popular story of the day back in 2009. -N] David Bowie, born David Robert Jones on January 8, 1947, is an English musician, actor, producer and arranger. Having been active in the entertainment ind...   read

 
 
Super Mario movie photo
Super Mario movie

Why the Super Mario movie is an underappreciated masterpiece

[Ed. note: El Great Burcho published this on February 2007. It's one of our Golden favorites.] No, I'm not being ironic, or corny, or funny. Neither am I drunk, stoned, nor under the influence of outside forces requiring me to like the Supe...   read

 
 
Why Penis Why photo
Why Penis Why

Save Ryu from looking generic in Street Fighter IV: A fanboy's top 10 wishes

Editor's note: In an internal staff email us old-timers were just laughing about the absurdity of this super fanboy article I wrote back in 2007 voicing my disgust with the redesigned Street Fighter. I've since grown accustomed to the new a...   read

 
 
Where are they now? photo
Where are they now?
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Where are they now? Ex-Destructoid editors in the biz

As some of you may have heard by now, Dale North (our editor in chief from 2010-2014) will be moving on to sunnier, though less 'toidy skies. You can read that announcement here. It's no secret that Dale and I have definitely punched each ...   read

 
 
100% Zelda retrospective photo
100% Zelda retrospective

100% Series Retrospective: The Legend of Zelda

[Want to read about every Zelda game in this daunting quest by Chris? Check out the first ever Carter's Quest entry. -N] Halfway through beating Ocarina of Time 3D, I had a pretty neat thought: I decided that in honor of Zelda's 25th annive...   read

 
 
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From our community  

Golden Archives: The Destructoid children's alphabet book

[Something cool we just remembered from our Golden Archives. Love this! -Niero] Last year, GuitarAtomik sang, Rio McCarthy made a bunch of awesome, Necros was racy, itemforty drew the staff, RockVillian made a prologue, CannibalCalvin was c...   read

 
 


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Destructoid Golden Classics: The Mega Man Maker

By popular request, I've dug through old hard drives and present to you Destructoid's classic Mega Man maker!  This little app was originally published during PAX 2008 during a panel we gave about how important it is to create original...   read

 
 
Haggar for President photo
Haggar for President

Citizens, unite: vote Mike Haggar

[Another gem from Destructoid's Golden Archives, this our most popular story of April 2008] As you’ve no doubt been following the prospective U.S. presidential nominees, you must be asking yourself several questions: Who should I...   read

 
 
Everyone is gay photo
Everyone is gay

Ten golden rules of online gaming

[Destructoid turns 7 next week! Here's our most popular article from January 2009, one of Jim's first features. Check out more of our earlier works in our Golden Archives. -Niero] People have been hunched over their PCs, firing rockets into...   read

 
 
Game quotes photo
Game quotes

The ten most meaningful videogame quotes of all time

[This month, Destructoid turns 7 years old! Here's the top article of this weekend back in 2008. You can browse more of these in our Golden Archives. Nostalgic yet? -Niero] Call me a weakling, but it's been more or less forever since I last...   read

 
 
Mario is sinister photo
Mario is sinister

Six sinister things about Super Mario

[Destructoid turns 7 on March 16, 2013! I'm celebrating early by repairing some of my favorite articles from our Wordpress days. You'll be able to browse this original collection soon -- "Destructoid's Golden Archives" is hereby instituted ...   read

 
 
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From our community  

Ramblings of a colorblind gamer

You may or may not know that I am red-green colorblind. Money looks grey to me, pink looks white, brown looks green. No big thing. Since I was born colorblind, I have no frame of reference for how the world is "supposed" to look and, theref...   read

 
 
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Videogames that make you feel godly

Videogames provide the perfect tools for pure escapism or utter powerlessness. As a fully interactive media, the player can be as involved as the developer in the fate of our characters, or we can be utterly impotent in swaying our destiny,...   read

 
 
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The REAL top ten games of the decade

You've doubtless read by now the "official" top ten games of the decade, or indeed any of the top ten game lists that have spilled onto the Internet as the so-called "naughties" ends and 2010 ushers in yet another arbitrarily assigned ten-y...   read

 
 
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Rev Rant: Donate

Every week, "Reverend" Anthony Burch talks about aspects of game design and gamer culture in his weekly "Rev Rant" video series. Admittedly, this week's rant turned out a lot more angry and weirdly serious than the other ones I've done -- ...   read

 
 
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How Killzone 2 is blatantly better than Halo 3

Killzone 2 launched exclusively for the PlayStation 3 this Friday, generating much bias from biased people who are biased. It also sold quite a few copies and has been setting the PlayStation Network afire with grenade spam and shotgun ramp...   read

 
 
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From our community  

Playing With Others: Gaining acceptance

[Editor's note: neveranything shares with us a very heartwarming story on how videogames helped him make new friends for his Monthly Musing piece. -- CTZ] Throughout elementary and middle school, I was the textbook definition of a bully ta...   read

 
 
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The Videogame Bosses' Guide to Success

So you aspire to be a roadblock in the path of every hero, a hulking shadow that ominously hangs over the hopes and dreams of normal people, the guy that makes babies squall at your very approach. I know you. You've turned many a pleasant g...   read

 
 
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From our community  

A Time to Destroy: The games that destroy us

[Editor's note: Tony Ponce, which we only knew as "megaStryke" when this was published, looks at three games that have destroyed people's bodies for his A Time to Destroy Monthly Musing. In 2012 he joined the Dtoid team as an associate edit...   read

 
 
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Being a solo gamer in a multiplayer world

Being a gamer over 30 means that you likely fell in love with gaming a long time ago. For me, that affair started around age 6, as my uncle showed me the Atari and I prowled through his Commodore 64 collection, wondering what the stone that...   read

 
 
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Hail the freak: 36 WoW accounts, played simultaneously. By a freak

I submit evidence of one man, which I am going to use to paint all World of Warcraft players as subhuman scumworms who deserve to be shot. This creature owns 36 WoW accounts, plays them at the same time on 11 computers, and goes on solo rai...   read

 
 
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Reviews   filter by...

The Pokemon Cookbook"#PinterestFail"

 

Let it Die"Grasshopper is back"

 

Tyranny"Are you a bad witch, or a really bad witch?"

 

Steep"Riding Goofy"

 

The Last Guardian"Hopefully not the last from Team Ico"

 
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Community expand | +quickpost

James Internet Ego

Is We Happy Few doing something? I remember a great E3 reveal, then it came out and was shit, then the Great It had

 
Dinosir

Its well know that I have shares in many of the big blogs on this Only the crooked media makes a big deal about this! #TopDino #MakeDtoidDinoAgain

 
Amna Umen

Vincent Price had a cooking show and released a few records on how to cook his favorite This makes me so much happier than I ever thought it

 
Kerrik52

Fuse postmortem: Like I thought, this game turned out It could be better, but the shooting is on Minibosses are too tanky in Meleé system is The skill tree was lackluster as they always It needed a bit more

 
Fenriff

It sucks that some people arent enjoying the story parts of FFXV, but I really enjoyed the muted Im glad the devs taking criticism to heart with it, but the fucky attitude some people have taken toward that announcement has been

 
Shinta

Hit 11 hours into Finally starting to really enjoy After all those demos, its finally clicked for Not a flawless game, but it has a lot of neat Im actually specializing in magic more than I thought I Its so

 
BarnacleBritches

So that Exorcist TV show is surprisingly Every time a movie-turned-show pops up I turn my nose up at it, but for the most part they are turning out some really good

 
hlarge4

Just watched first episode of Its pretty The acting is And one of the characters has my daughters name, which is rare to (Maeve)

 
LaTerry

So it turns out that my post office is just run by They sent my package out with the wrong truck, and when it came back they scanned it as Picked up at Post Office instead of Returned to Post My package was safely delivered

 
Nathan D

It almost brings a tear to my eye how much nostalgia I have for these old GTA 4 Theyre just From a time when Youtube was the Now its just

 

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