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Hotter than Hell photo
Hotter than Hell

Disgaea 5 has sexy eye candy for all, dood!


Also a pissing penguin
Sep 04
// Jed Whitaker
I've got my grubby hands on an early copy of Disgaea 5: Alliance of Vengeance for PS4 and decided to snap some screenshots -- which oddly get watermarked automatically -- while I do what I've done with every game in...

Review: Evoland 2: A Slight Case of Spacetime Continuum Disorder

Sep 04 // Jed Whitaker
Evoland 2: A Slight Case of Spacetime Continuum Disorder (PC)Developer: Shiro GamesPublisher: Shiro GamesReleased: August 25, 2015MSRP: $19.99Rig: Intel Core i7-3930K @ 3.2 GHz, 32GB DDR3 RAM, Nvidia GeForce GTX 980, Windows 10 64-bit, Intel 750 SSD Serving as a spiritual sequel, Evoland 2 doesn't require knowledge of the original game, which is a good thing for me as I've never played it. Judging by our review of the original, it sounded like a fairly short and linear experience, which the sequel is anything but -- for better and for worse. The story took around 16 hours to complete and even then there were a few optional collectibles that I didn't bother getting to 100% the game. They felt like filler. A majority of my time was spent in conversations with characters that often seemed to drag on as they talked about nothing in particular or kept a joke going for far too long. Between scenes, there are often transitions that almost feel tailor made to extend the playtime. For example, when climbing onto a boat, instead of just showing the main character get onto the boat, your party splits up and walks on one at a time.  The story of Evoland 2 is pretty par for the course as far as RPGs go: hero of time meets party members with their own conflicts, and travels through time collecting parts of an item to stop a terrible event from happening. You won't find anything too impressive, but there are at least a couple of twists to add a bit of flavor to a story we all know.  [embed]309159:60250:0[/embed] Once the dialogue ends is where the real fun begins. A majority of the game plays much like top-down Zelda games from the past meaning you'll be hacking and slashing enemies and solving puzzles in dungeons. Other times, you'll be playing levels based on many genres of old with tongue-in-cheek references to the games that popularized them including Cave shooters, Double Dragon, Puzzle Quest, and even Dance Dance Revolution. These levels work in your party's abilities seamlessly, which is impressive since there are so many different genres.  While these levels are parodies or homage to the games of old, I couldn't help but feel I'd rather be playing most of those games than the levels in Evoland 2. The beat-'em-up level's mechanics were pretty generic, and the tactical RPG level was tedious, while the Metroidvania and shooter levels were decent, especially the final level that combines the two in an experience unlike any other I've played. You'll be zipping around in the skies with the option of dropping to the ground when needed; the level was so great I couldn't help but wonder what an entire game in that style would be like. An optional collectible card game side quest that has you playing what feels like baby's first Hearthstone is entertaining, but as I'm a Hearthstone addict I wasn't tempted to finish it when I could just play the real thing instead. Throughout the entire experience, you'll be swapping between in-game times which have their own graphical styles that match up with Game Boy, 8-bit, 16-bit, and more modern-day 3D graphics. There isn't a lot of guidance or hand holding, and you're free to come and go as you please with the ability to do dungeons in any order starting around the middle of the story. Graphically, Evoland 2 nails the games and systems it is based on, from sleek pixel art to more modern 3D graphics. Unfortunately, my playthrough was not a bug-free experience for me, as I experienced stuttering, graphical glitches, getting stuck on the overworld map, and a red error that wouldn't leave the screen after the graphics failed to load. There have already been various updates fixing some of these issues, but leaving the game in the oven for a couple of more weeks probably would have been beneficial. That being said, a simple restart fixed all these issues making them minor but noticeable inconveniences.  Overall, Evoland 2 is a pretty good Zelda-style game with mediocre pieces and parts of other games mixed in; it doesn't reinvent the wheel but pays homage to the wheels that came before it. If you're thirst for an RPG and just can't decide what genre of RPG to play, or are just looking for your Zelda fix, this is the game for you. Otherwise you might just find yourself wishing you've played the games it is inspired by. [This review is based on a retail build of the game provided by the publisher.]
Review: Evoland 2 photo
I'm every genre, it's all in me
Real-time RPG, turn-based RPG, tactical RPG, hack and slash, bullet hell, beat-'em-up, rhythm, side-scrolling shooter, fighter, puzzler, platformer, Metroidvania, and more: Evoland 2 takes basically every classic genre a...

You're a gamer, Harry! photo
You're a gamer, Harry!

Harry Potter has a beard in BBC's Grand Theft Auto docudrama trailer


The Gamechangers
Sep 03
// Jed Whitaker
The first trailer for The Gamechangers, the story behind Rockstar Games' battle with former lawyer Jack Thompson, has been released. The important thing here to note is Daniel Radcliffe has a beard and looks like a total bad...
Huge, bulky, cool photo
Huge, bulky, cool

ASUS' liquid-cooled laptop has a huge badonkadonk


Dat ass *bites lip*
Sep 02
// Jed Whitaker
ASUS announced what very well may be the world's first liquid-cooled laptop, the GX700, and it has some junk in its trunk. Currently not much is known about the laptop, as ASUS has only shown pictures of it and not released a...

Diversity 101 photo
Diversity 101

How many original black playable women have there been in the history of gaming?


Believe me if I said around 20?
Sep 02
// Jed Whitaker
Jef Rouner of Houston Press has done a bit of research on the amount of original black women playable throughout the history of gaming and found the number to be exceptionally low. Rouner's criteria to count as an original bl...
MEOW MEOW MEOW photo
MEOW MEOW MEOW

The best video game trailer ever that I can't stop watching


WHO LET THE CAT IN!?
Aug 29
// Jed Whitaker
I was browsing through the latest releases on Steam when I came across Let the Cat in, a free-to-play game about helping kittens get into a house and was ported from mobile devices. That isn't important though, what is is it...
Super Music Maker photo
Super Music Maker

The greatest song ever made has been recreated in Super Mario Maker


Trust me, this one won't let you down
Aug 28
// Jed Whitaker
A level called "All the costumes unlocked! :)" has been featured by Nintendo in Super Mario Maker, that tricks people into thinking the level will let them use some of the many unlockable costumes in the game. Instead plays the greatest song ever known to man.  I don't want to ruin the surprise, so just watch the video above and enjoy. 
Boob DLC photo
Boob DLC

Pay real money for fake boobs in Gal Gun: Double Peace


Only a BOOB would buy this
Aug 28
// Jed Whitaker
Great news everyone, now game publishers are holding the boobies hostage behind DLC paywalls, at least if you want anything other than average. There is now DLC available in Japan for Gal Gun: Double Peace that allo...
FATALITY photo
FATALITY

Mortal Kombat X for PS3 and Xbox 360 has been canceled


All that DLC you'll miss out on
Aug 28
// Jed Whitaker
Warner Bros. has finally officially canceled Mortal Kombat X for PS3 and Xbox 360 after delays and months of silence. "After months of development, Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment has come to the regrettable concl...
Unsolicited video games photo
Unsolicited video games

Become the king of junk mail in Papers, Please creator's new game


Play Unsolicited for free now!
Aug 27
// Jed Whitaker
Lucas Pope -- the creator of critical darling Papers, Please -- just released his new game Unsolicited that he created for the Ludum Dare 33 competition in just 48 hours, and you can play it for free! You work for a...
Look into the coffee photo
Look into the coffee

Deadly Premonition: The Director's Cut - Classified Edition up for pre-order


Tons of goodies with the PS3 version
Aug 27
// Jed Whitaker
Publisher NIS has started taking pre-orders for Deadly Premonition: The Director's Cut - Classified Edition for PS3. It includes a hardcover art book, soundtrack, all the available DLC, and a custom set of Bicycle brand ...
Road Not Taken DLC photo
Road Not Taken DLC

Where is the Until Dawn pre-order DLC? In the middle of the story


This isn't how to do pre-order DLC
Aug 27
// Jed Whitaker
Over the past three nights I've watched my lovely boyfriend and our hunky Australian roommate stream Until Dawn and after finishing the game we decided to play the pre-order DLC chapter "The Road Not Taken" only we could...

Review: Corpse of Discovery

Aug 27 // Jed Whitaker
Corpse of Discovery (PC)Developer: Phosphor GamesPublisher: Phosphor Games Released: August 25, 2015MSRP: $14.99Rig: Intel Core i7-3930K @ 3.2 GHz, 32GB DDR3 RAM, Nvidia GeForce GTX 980, Windows 10 64-bit, Intel 750 SSD "Our feature presentation" is displayed on the screen the moment Corpse of Discovery is launched, followed by a live action video of a press conference with a representative from the "Corps of Discovery" -- a space exploration company -- explaining that communication with one of their astronauts had been lost. Cut to an astronaut groggily waking up in a space station to a recorded voice stating this is your final mission and to make your way to the main computer to be briefed. On the way to get briefed you'll come across various items to interact with including laptops playing silly videos, pictures, and a hologram with an audio message from your wife and kids. Upon reaching the main computer a hologram of the planet is displayed and your mission is read aloud by a recorded voice, letting you know you'll be placing markers on this unexplored planet. Just outside the main computer room is a space suit you'll have to slip on before stepping outside into a barren red planet. The atmosphere of this planet is exactly what one would expect as a lone astronaut on an unexplored planet; extreme emptiness, a lifeless wasteland, and your thoughts.  After you get over the initial awe of walking out of the spaceship onto the planet you'll notice the framerate often dips quite low when moving quickly, and there is a great deal of objects popping in thus breaking the immersion. I played the game on two different computers to see if it was just me or if the game was just optimized really poorly, to unsurprisingly find out my suspicions were confirmed. No matter what settings were adjusted, the results were the same: pop in and frame rate dips; It sure as hell didn't look silky smooth like the slow movement and quick cuts of the trailer lead me to believe it would be, nor was there a helmet around the edges of the screen like shown in both the trailer and screenshots.  [embed]307987:60150:0[/embed] Once you've accepted the dismal optimization, you'll find a nearby helper AI-- a floating orb-shaped robot with glowing blue eyes -- that gives you directions, tips, updates from the Corps HR department and seems to have an intelligent personality of all her own. She warns that standing in direct sunlight will cause radiation levels to increase and points to the first place that needs to be marked, so you set off in that direction. Along the way, between heavy breaths inside your suit, you'll hear the bot remind you that after this mission you will be retired, how appreciative your family will be for all your hard work, and that she hasn't been able to get out a distress call as your ship crash landed leaving you currently stranded. As you find the last marker the bot says her battery is about to die, her distress signal was never heard and that your family will be well compensated. After your bot passes into the battery-less afterlife, you'll be given one last point to go to while avoiding gigantic tornadoes surrounding the area. Taking floaty jumps across the map until arriving at the final point is horrifying, as you're given no hope of surviving and you're light years from home. Upon arriving at the last way point an alien flies onto screen and fills you with radiation causing you to black out, only to wake up back in the base for your final mission, again, only this time on a different planet.  This passing out, waking up back in the base cycle happens a handful of times before the credits roll. Each cycle has hints of passage of time and new messages from a family that misses you, all while being told this is your last mission yet being on a brand new planet. Each planet looks vastly different, with the second being full of lush vegetation and some living organisms, a stark contrast to the starting planet's emptiness, while others have floating rocks, lava, and deserts filled with caves and rocky peaks. There isn't a lot to do on any of them though, as every mission is "walk over there, press action, rinse, repeat" though eventually a jetpack is added to the mix. The catch is that it can only boost for so long before you'll have to wait a bit for its power to recharge, though you can reach the altitude you want and keep tapping it every couple seconds to nearly infinitely stay midair, allowing you to quickly glide between points of interest.  Other than the main objectives there are some other interesting objects to find -- though I use the term interesting loosely in this case as finding mirages of food you miss from Earth is anything but interesting -- that add a bit of information to the astronaut's backstory, giving glimpses at his family life and personal tastes. There are also a couple of kind of funny celebrity impersonators that can be found, one of which is Matthew McConaughey talking nonsense about wormholes like his character in Interstellar. The best extras to find though have to be satellites that play commercials, TED talks and a music video, all that are tailor made to reference what is going on in the game and taunting you with "You're going to die alone on this planet."  Later in the game the tone switches from mystery, to deep hypothetical questions about choice and religion before going off rails and becoming a satire of itself. Suddenly your AI robot friend is more self aware, swears and doesn't even provide you your assigned mission, before mocking you for doing the same thing over and over. Perhaps your character is going mad or is in Hell, the game doesn't really ever make it very clear.  I have a feeling the developers don't even know what to do with the story and kind of just gave up and decided to try to make it comical, which makes the last level feel less like an awesome sci-fi adventure game and more like a shitty mod a teenager would make of a game to impress their friends. Corpse of Discovery's intro sets a very serious and cinematic tone that is carried on through most of the first half of the game before derailing and turning into a parody of itself, ruining what could have been an otherwise beautiful experience apart from the horrible optimization. At around three hours, it's hard to recommend Corpse of Discovery to starved sci-fi fans, let alone the general public, and especially at full price. With some optimization patches it would be at least worth a play through for sci-fi fans, but as it stands I'd let this one get lost in space. [This review is based on a retail build of the game provided by the publisher.]
Corpse of Discovery Rev photo
One Man's Sky
I'm a huge fan of the recent resurgence of sci-fi blockbusters such as Gravity, Interstellar and the upcoming The Martian, and when I watched the trailer for Corpse of Discovery I couldn't help but see the influence...

Review: Capsule Force

Aug 25 // Jed Whitaker
Capsule Force (Linux, Mac, PC [reviewed], PS4)Developer: KlobitPublisher: Iron Galaxy StudiosRelease Date: August 25, 2015MSRP: $14.99 Two-on-two multiplayer matches make up the meat of Capsule Force across eight stages that each have an unlockable alternate variation. The matches consist of pink and blue teams working against each other to ride a tram to the other team's galaxy, which is trapped inside a -- you guessed it -- capsule. The first team to touch the other team's capsule wins. Capsule Force is easy to pick up and play. Grasping the controls fully takes maybe a match or two at most; you've got double jumps, an air dodge, normal shots, charged laser shots, a shield, and what I'd call blast jumping. Blast jumping can be performed by shooting the ground and then instantly jumping in the opposite direction for a faster and higher jump, which is vital for perfecting the game's single-player missions. Using the shield requires precise timing, but puts a bubble around your character preventing them from being harmed. Eventually you'll find out that air dodging allows you to double jump right away again, essentially allowing entire battles to take place mid-air. When attempting to kill other players, you've got two choices: normal shots or charging your shot to shoot a laser all the way across the screen, killing anyone it its path if they don't put up their shield. When using the laser, your character freezes in the air, allowing you to focus on aiming your shot. It is really satisfying to get a perfectly aimed mid-air laser shot killing both of your opponents and taking over the tram they were just riding.  [embed]306824:60087:0[/embed] Matches in Capsule Force are intense and hectic the whole time. Even if teams are pretty evenly matched, eventually the tram speed increases a great deal, allowing a quick turnaround for one side or the other. There were times when myself or my friends got a bit lost as to where we were on the screen due to this hectic nature, but it is all part of the fun. I will note, however, that some stages are similarly colored to the characters which can make it easier to get confused in than others. When not laughing your ass off in multiplayer, you'll tackle over thirty single-player missions. These consist of either rushing through stages as quickly as possible, or rushing through stages as quickly as possible while shooting targets. The target-shooting missions are reminiscent of the "Break the Targets" mode from the Super Smash Bros. series, and are just as fun. While it is a multiplayer-focused game, the single-player missions do add a nice distraction and practice, and those who complete them all will unlock stage variations, alternate costumes, and concept art. Giving single-player a purpose other than practice was a good choice, but locking multiplayer content behind it wasn't considering the limited amount of stages to begin with. The eight variations you unlock are essentially all new stages that just use the same backgrounds as the starter arenas, so they are certainly worth unlocking. Unlocking all the multiplayer content won't take more than an hour maximum for most players, so it isn't such a drawback.  If you're the kind of person who has friends over for couch competitive games, Capsule Force is easily recommendable as the multiplayer is a colorful, frantic, hell of a good time, but if you're a loner, give this one a pass. The limited single-player content won't hold your attention for long. I know I'll be playing Capsule Force at many of my shindigs in the future. [This review is based on a retail build of the game provided by the publisher.]
Review: Capsule Force photo
Blasting off again!
It is the far future, the year is 1999, and everything looks like a 1980s space anime; no, you're not tripping on mushrooms and having a flashback to your childhood, you're playing Capsule Force.   Capsule Force&nbs...

RCR: Underground photo
RCR: Underground

River City Ransom: Underground comes to Steam Greenlight with new trailers


More delicious Disasterpeace music!
Aug 23
// Jed Whitaker
It has been nearly two years since River City Ransom: Underground was funded on Kickstarter, and the game has just recently went up for voting on Steam Greenlight with the above new trailer in tow. While you're giv...
Intel unboxing photo
Intel unboxing

Watch me unbox (and break) the Intel Box Master System


Including an i7-6700K and 750 series SSD
Aug 21
// Jed Whitaker
Intel decided to send us two giant boxes full of things, including its hot new 8-bit Intel Box Master System featuring wood side paneling to unbox on video. I couldn't possibly do a straight unboxing video -- that isn't my s...

Review: Gryphon Knight Epic

Aug 20 // Jed Whitaker
Gryphon Knight Epic (Linux, Mac, PC [reviewed])Developer: Cyber Rhino Studios Publisher: Cyber Rhino Studios Released: August 20, 2015MSRP: $12.99  A diverse group of warriors set out on a journey to kill a great dragon, and upon doing so find a stash of treasure; Gryphon Knight Epic's intro is seemingly ripped straight out of J.R.R. Tolkien's writing. The same goes for Tree Stache, a mustached tree character met later in the game. The warriors all find weapons and take them with glee, while the gryphon knight himself, Sir Oliver, takes a shiny amulet. Turns out the weapons are cursed, causing all the characters to let their bad sides take control of them and, wouldn't ya know, the only thing that can cure them is the amulet. Sir Oliver is told this information in pretty plain English by his bad side that presents itself as a shadowy physical incarnation of him, but he doesn't seem to grasp it right away. I think Oliver not grasping what was just told to him was supposed to be funny, but it just wasn't, much like all of the writing in Gryphon Knight Epic. You could guess the story, as it has been told a thousand times: Knight frees all his friends, then faces the ultimate evil. The ending is especially cringeworthy. It abruptly sets up a sequel that surely no one will be clamoring for. On the surface level, Gryphon Knight Epic looks like it could be something new for the genre, but the only things it does original are terrible. If you've played more than one side-scrolling shooter, you've probably realized that most of them have one tiny hitbox where the player can take damage and they are otherwise invulnerable. This is not so in this case. If any part of Sir Oliver touches a projectile or enemy, including the feathers on top of his armor, he takes damage. This wouldn't be such a problem if he weren't such a large sprite to begin with.  [embed]307100:60084:0[/embed] Stages can be played in any order and at any of the three difficulty levels, which should be labeled: way too easy, way too hard, and why would I even bother? As a self-proclaimed seasoned veteran of bullet hell shooters, I found myself having to resort to easy mode. The difficulty mostly comes the aforementioned hitbox size, and the fact that bosses are brutally difficult and even a challenge at times on the easiest difficulty. Most games have boss fights with a pretty recognizable pattern that gives the player a visual cue of an impending attack with time to react. That isn't the case here. One particular boss, a giant frog, will quickly snatch Sir Oliver out of the air and chew him up, taking a large portion of his health with little to no time to try to avoid being attacked.  Upon running out of lives -- a concept that should have died with arcades -- you'll be forced back to the level selection map and will have to either play the whole level over again or half of it depending on how far you made it. While it is nice to have checkpoints in most games, this is the only side-scrolling shooter I can think of with them, as most games just let you continue at the exact screen you're at, costing you power-ups or score. Because of these checkpoints, you'll have the displeasure of repeating the same parts of level multiple times, and who doesn't like repeating entire sections of levels multiple times? Oh, that's right, everyone.  Sir Oliver can be made to look left or right with the press of a button, which is useful as enemies can come from both directions, but the way it is implemented mostly kills the usefulness. Say you're heading to the right and then enemies start to approach from your rear. Pressing the button to turn around to attack those enemies gives them time to approach and causes Sir Oliver to start moving towards them at the same time, thus allowing them to be right on top of him before he can even attack. Often times when battling enemies from both sides and maneuvering around the screen, I found myself unintentionally going the wrong direction, which isn't something you ever want a player to experience. Being able to turn back and go the way you just came from would be useful if the game weren't an overall linear affair. I believe there was only one level that required a bit of backtracking to unlock one of the hidden runes found in each level that grant abilities, better states, and some lore. The runes aren't really worth the time it takes to find them as the benefits are minor and the lore isn't all that interesting.  Each time a boss is defeated, you'll gain another magical weapon that uses a bit of an automatically refilling magic bar. These weapons can be used alongside Sir Oliver's trusty crossbow -- which is automatically spammed by holding the designated button -- and are vital to defeating larger enemies and bosses. They deal a considerable amount of damage after being upgraded. Upgrades can be purchased between levels from the gold earned by killing enemies, opening chests, and freeing prisoners in levels.  After playing for around five and a half hours, I found myself unable to afford most of the upgrades, even though I'd completed all of the levels because every time you die, you lose ten percent of your overall gold. Each time Sir Oliver gets hit by an enemy, his squires -- miniature helpers purchased from the store -- lose some of their power as well, making them mostly useless unless you somehow manage to never get attacked. Really, the punishments for getting attacked or dying in Gryphon Knight are far too extreme to allow the game to be enjoyable.  Gryphon Knight Epic isn't a great looking or sounding game. It mostly feels like something you would expect to see in the early days of the original PlayStation; the sprites are all right, the backgrounds are bland and repetitive, and the music is forgettable. At one point, I found myself laughing out loud when I noticed a stage set in the snowy mountains with vikings had elephants and rhinos in the background. From then on I started to realize that each level had an enemy or two that just kind of didn't feel like it fit there: a green blob that looked like a Metroid and a tentacled brain monster come to mind. It felt almost like the devs had created these sprites prior to coming up with the game and just decided to put them to use because they had them laying around.  With hitbox resizing, the ability to move in one direction while shooting in another, and some difficulty adjustments, Gryphon Knight Epic could be an okay game. As it stands, it's a messy medieval hodgepodge that you'd be better off avoiding at all costs. Save yourself some money by instead buying some feathers and a fake beak and putting them on your dog. [This review is based on a retail build of the game provided by the publisher.]
Review: Gryphon Knight photo
Part bird, part lion, part shit
I've played side-scrolling shooters starring space ships, fairies, gothic lolitas, but never had I played one starring a knight atop a gryphon. "How original," I thought, with fantasies of knightly glory on my mind. "Surely this theme won't be squandered on a poorly-designed game." Boy, was I wrong.

PS4 Beta firmware photo
PS4 Beta firmware

Sign up now for the PS4 System Software Beta


Get updates early
Aug 20
// Jed Whitaker
Sony is now offering a pretty quick and painless sign up for beta testing the PS4 system software. All you'll need is a PS4 (duh), an Internet connection and a master account -- which you have if you created your account your...
Video games are dead photo
Video games are dead

Someone besides Konami wants to turn gamers into gamblers


Clue: It isn't Bob Barker
Aug 19
// Jed Whitaker
"Our company is a Pachinko Slot maker, but we're also video game developers. We'd like to work hard to make video game fans into Pachinko Slot fans," said a SNK Playmore rep at a Beast Busters Pachinko slot press conference r...
Hearthstone update photo
Hearthstone update

Hearthstone version 3.0 is out, hints of upcoming co-op mode


Grand Tournament launches next week
Aug 19
// Jed Whitaker
Blizzard's ever-popular free-to-play digital card game Hearthstone just got a major update ahead of the release of its next expansion, The Grand Tournament. Blizzard just recently revealed all 132 new cards included...
Morpheus is ready photo
Morpheus is ready

Sony's VR headset Morpheus is complete, just needs games


I'm still waiting on PS Camera titles
Aug 19
// Jed Whitaker
Sony's sleek virtual reality headset Morpheus is complete hardware wise, but it is "just waiting for the game titles to catch up with the hardware," according to Dennis Castleman, hardware R&D engineer at Sony Computer En...
Reggie for full effect photo
Reggie for full effect

Geoff Keighley's The Game Awards will be back this December


Announced in June and no one noticed
Aug 19
// Jed Whitaker
Remember The Game Awards, the Geoff Keighley joint production not to be confused with the train wreck that was the VGAs aka VGXs? Well last year's show must have gone well enough to warrant another this year as it w...

Review: Beyond Eyes

Aug 17 // Jed Whitaker
Beyond Eyes (PC, Xbox One [reviewed])Developer: Tiger & SquidPublisher: Team17Release Date: August 4, 2015 (Xbox One), August 11, 2015 (PC)MSRP: $14.99 Rae is a young girl playing with some friends and fireworks when something goes wrong, causing sparks to fly into her eyes and permanently blind her. Her friends move on with their lives, leaving her alone with nothing but her thoughts to keep her company that summer, until a friendly neighborhood cat shows up. Rae quickly befriends this cat and names it Nani. It comes and goes as it pleases and eventually just stops showing up, prompting Rae to journey outside of her home to try to find her feline friend. It really is never explained how little or much Rae can see, though I was lead to believe she could see a very short distance around her due to the way the graphics paint themselves in as Rae moves. You can be considered legally blind -- in the United States at least -- and still be able to partially see, so perhaps she is in that murky area?  As Rae slowly walks the world will paint itself in around her in an extremely beautiful water color-esque way, which I'd imagine is a visual representation of how Rae sees the world or at the very least perceives it. As birds chirp, dogs bark and other sounds are heard, Rae visualizes them, providing clues as to where to walk. [embed]305547:60010:0[/embed] Walking is really all there is to Beyond Eyes, with maybe three or so presses of an action button: better known as a walking simulator. At one point a young girl tosses her ball out of reach and asks Rae to find it, which really is kind of an asshole thing to do to someone who is clearly at the very least visually impaired. Rae walks around with her hands out at times so she can feel for objects that she may collide with, so it isn't exactly hard to figure out that she is blind. It isn't like there is a whole lot of story in Beyond Eyes either, it could be summed up as "Girl gets blinded, girl befriends cat, girl searches for cat after it stops visiting." The whole thing was over for me in an hour and a half, though I missed most of the achievements that are seemingly just there to encourage more exploration thus extending play time.  There really just needed to be more of everything: more story, more to do, and more reasons to do it. With such a beautiful art style and such a unique character Beyond Eyes had a chance to be something really special but instead it just feels like walking past a beautiful painting, as it is over in the blink of an eye. You'd be better off visiting your local art gallery than spending full price on this, so give it a pass until it eventually drops in price. [This review is based on a retail build of the game provided by the publisher.]
Review: Beyond Eyes photo
Blindly searching for pussy
If you know me, you know I yearn for diversity in games and new experiences in general, which is why I jumped at the chance to review Beyond Eyes. It has people of color, the main character is blind, and the art style is beautiful. I just wish the devs would have done more, all this wasted potential.

HunkyMan Studio pls photo
HunkyMan Studio pls

From the makers of HuniePop comes HunieCam Studio


Yawn
Aug 16
// Jed Whitaker
Editor's note: This video may be considered NSFW by some. Surely you've heard of HuniePop by now, the not safe for work dating sim meets puzzle game with over the top voiceovers, writing, stereotypes and nudity? Well de...
Best. Mario. Model. Ever. photo
Best. Mario. Model. Ever.

Rumored Mario Kart XXL prototype discovered and shown to the world


GBA tech demo
Aug 16
// Jed Whitaker
The above video supposedly shows a prototype demo of the unreleased Mario Kart XXL that was created by Denaris Entertainment, a company run by the developer of the Turrican series, Manfred Trenz. My search for more...
Super Mario Poi photo
Super Mario Poi

Poi looks like all the best 3D Mario games combined into one


Now on Kickstarter
Aug 15
// Jed Whitaker
[Update: Added some gameplay videos below] We have written about Poi prior to now, but somehow it flew under my radar. Poi looks like all the best parts of Super Mario 64, Super Mario Sunshine, Super Mario Galaxy&n...
This is not about you! photo
This is not about you!

Control Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock in Terminus aka Speed The Game


Sandra is also driving a bus
Aug 15
// Jed Whitaker
If the classic hit movie Speed were turned into a video game it would be Terminus. In case you're not familiar with Speed this is what you need to know: Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock are on a bus with a bomb attac...
Conker on the cheap photo
Conker on the cheap

Conker's Big Reunion free in Project Spark this weekend


Worth the price of entry
Aug 14
// Jed Whitaker
Remember when Microsoft announced that everyone's favorite foul-mouthed squirrel would be coming to Project Spark and it was met with a not so positive reception? Well now you can own Conker's Big Reunion's play and crea...

Review: Commander Cherry's Puzzled Journey

Aug 14 // Jed Whitaker
Commander Cherry's Puzzled Journey (PS4, Xbox One [reviewed])Developer: Grandé GamesPublisher: Grandé GamesRelease Date: August 11, 2015 (PS4), August 14, 2015 (Xbox One)MSRP: $13.99 Think of the most basic indie platformer you've ever played with minimal graphics and okay at best platforming mechanics, because that is what Commander Cherry's Puzzled Journey is, only worse.  Commander Cherry has to get from one side of the ten available levels to the other, using snapshots of your body taken with the Xbox One Kinect or the Playstation Eye as platforms. When posing for pictures you'll have to position yourself so the edges of your body touch red circles causing them to light up, thus making them collectible for Commander Cherry. These yellow dots must be collected to allow advancement to the next part of the level and granting you a rating of yo, yoga, or yogawesome depending on how well you performed, then rinse and repeat for what felt like a billion times. Here's the thing about capturing your body in crazy poses: in theory it sounds great, but in practice the functionality blows. The Kinect was picking up like half my arms, half my face, and half my legs. On top of that, the detection wasn't that great, often times leaving wide areas of the room behind me in the picture, instead of cropping me out. So don't be fooled by Commander Cherry's original trailer, it certainly doesn't work as well as I was led to believe it was; foolish me. [embed]304686:59976:0[/embed] As far as the actual platforming goes it could be better. Early on you're asked to press a button that shows you all what all the controls are, only you can't do two of the functions yet: double jump and laser. You can only double jump if you have a power-up that turns your weak mustache into a long wizard-like beard, but the game doesn't tell you that as the control screen just says "Hold A to double jump" which isn't even how you double jump once you have the ability! The laser is granted to you in later levels allowing you to cut through your snapshots of yourself, which helps a great deal and should have been available from the start. Speaking of available from the start, double jump should have been as well. The platforming isn't exactly smooth, and most of the time I only found myself able to make it through sections when I had the power-up. The double jump power-up is lost upon falling to your death or hitting the weird eyeball grass and oranges that shoot flames, much like the super mushroom power-up in Super Mario Bros. The big difference between this and Super Mario Bros. is the added double jump ability; getting hit as Mario makes you smaller and harder to hit versus in Commander Cherry it just causes you to lose functionality and makes the game harder. Because of this I started to purposefully kill myself three times in a row when I lost the double jump ability, as it causes a power-up to spawn for you. Nothing says "this might not be a great idea" like someone playing your game and killing themselves deliberately to make your game even remotely possible let alone enjoyable. I'm clearly not in shape, at all -- though Seaman once told me round is indeed a shape -- but I didn't have much trouble posing to complete the platforming puzzles. Poses start with just making basic platforms to guide your character across, but eventually add other mechanics, like avoiding touching grass-like eyeballs, blocking firebreath from oranges, and bodies that move when you have Commander Cherry jump on them. The problem is it gets tedious when sometimes you're asked to make up to six poses for one section while holding the controller in your hand and contorting your body in all different positions. It just wasn't fun, and eventually I had to take a break as my knees, and back started to ache a bit. Later on I figured out I could just play while sitting in my chair closer to the camera, and totally cheesed my way through the final levels with no shame.  All the levels look pretty similar, just bland textureless polygons, and what music there was was pretty forgettable, just like the rest of the game. With only ten levels you'd think Commander Cherry's Puzzled Journey was over far too soon, but it was quite the opposite; I couldn't wait for this yoga-like Hell to be over. Knowing the game was made by only two people makes me feel a bit like a yogasshole by saying this game is yogawful, but this is one cherry pit I couldn't wait to spit out. [This review is based on a retail build of the game provided by the publisher.]
Review: Commander Cherry photo
Yogawful
"A game that captures pictures of you when you pose to build levels for your character to platform on? This is gonna be a blast," I thought naively as I excitedly volunteered to review Commander Cherry's Puzzled Journey, "Finally something I can use my Kinect for!" Note to self: Never, ever, ever volunteer to review a Kinect game again, no matter how cool it might look.

Xbox app quality hack photo
Xbox app quality hack

How to unlock very high settings for home streaming in the Xbox app on Windows 10


Never leave your PC, ever
Aug 13
// Jed Whitaker
Redditors have found a way to enable a hidden very high quality setting in the Xbox app for Windows 10 that allows players to stream their Xbox One in even better quality, pending their network can handle it. The process isn'...

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