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Rock Bugs 4 photo
Rock Bugs 4

Are you having issues with Rock Band 4? You're not alone

Issues and some fixes here!
Oct 07
// Jed Whitaker
[Update: A Harmonix spokesperson reach out to us to issue the following statement:  “The Rock Band experience is as important to Harmonix as it is to our players. We are passionate about Rock Band, and we'll suppor...
Hella kewl photo
Hella kewl

Life is Strange officially concludes on October 20

It's not a lake, it's an ocean
Oct 06
// Jed Whitaker
Last month, Dontnod Entertainment stated when it expected to release the final episode of Life is Strange, entitled Polarized, but those plans were not 100% set in stone.  Today, the official Life is Strange Twitter...
Cyberpunk > Witcher photo
Cyberpunk > Witcher

Cyberpunk 2077 is aiming to be 'far, far bigger than The Witcher 3'

Bigger is better, right guys? Oh yeah?
Oct 06
// Jed Whitaker
"Cyberpunk is far bigger than anything else that CD Projekt Red has done before," said visual effects artist Jose Teixeira speaking to MCV. "Far, far bigger." "Working on The Witcher 3 was a really good and often brutal learning experience," he said. "Cyberpunk is going to benefit greatly from it. I can almost guarantee it."
Your favorite stores? photo
Your favorite stores?

Steam Controllers and Machines only available at select retailers this year

GameStop, EB Games, and Game UK
Oct 06
// Jed Whitaker
In a strange twist, it has been announced that Valve has partnered with GameStop in the USA, Game UK, and EB Games in Canada to be the exclusive non-digital retailers for Steam Controllers and Steam Machines through the holid...

The baddies take Hyrule photo
The baddies take Hyrule

Skull Kid and Phantom Ganon announced for Hyrule Warriors Legends

Are you a kid now, or a ghost now?
Oct 06
// Jed Whitaker
Scans from Famitsu have confirmed that Skull Kid will be a playable character in Hyrule Warriors Legends for 3DS when it launches early next year. The leak also revealed that Phantom Ganon will show up as a boss, though ...
Zelda: CRY Force Heroes photo
Zelda: CRY Force Heroes

Tri Force Heroes' new tell-all trailer brings the puns and tears

Crying princesses, typical Nintendo
Oct 02
// Jed Whitaker
I really wish I hadn't seen this new tell-all trailer for The Legend of Zelda: Tri Force Heroes because now I'm both incredibly pumped and disappointed. I'm pumped because I didn't realize the game has online matchmakin...
Old ppl gonna old photo
Old ppl gonna old

Sports personality Colin Cowherd proves he is an out of touch dick

Bashes eSports
Sep 29
// Jed Whitaker
Colin Cowherd, a man who covers ancient sports, has been known to speak out against eSports having said that listening to eSports commentary was "the equivalent of me putting a gun in my mouth" after ESPN2 covered a Her...

Review: PewDiePie: Legend of the Brofist

Sep 29 // Jed Whitaker
PewDiePie: Legend of the Brofist (Android, iOS [reviewed on an iPhone 6S Plus])Developer: Outerminds Inc.Publisher: Outerminds Inc.Released: September 24, 2015MSRP: $4.99 PewDiePie: Legend of the Brofist caught me off guard with its production values and gameplay. At first, I was expecting a half-assed cash-in on PewDiePie and the other co-starring YouTubers' popularity, but instead I found a fully voice-acted platformer reminiscent of such classics as DuckTales and the more recent Shovel Knight. Yeah, I can't believe I just typed those words either. Using the left side of the screen as a virtual joystick that spawns wherever your finger first touches and the right side of the screen as a jump button, you'll help PewDiePie and friends hunt down the evil barrel king that stole all his fans, aka bros. Going from left to right while jumping on enemies to kill them isn't revolutionary, but the ease and precision of the controls are. I've played many touch screen games and this is the first that felt like it nailed translating traditional controls; deaths felt like my own fault and jumping between platforms surrounded by certain death was smooth as butter. Each level adds something new, such as jumping from moving cars and rhinos, to a side-scrolling space shooter, to levels where you must avoid enemies for a set amount of time in a small area until help arrives. Help is provided by other popular YouTubers like Markplier and Jacksepticeye, whom voice themselves.  [embed]312909:60547:0[/embed] These other YouTubers can then be unlocked, and each have their own unlockable abilities as well that can be equipped two at a time -- one attack and one defense. Abilities have a cooldown timer that is replenished by killing enemies or digging through piles of debris found throughout stages. This debris also grants coins and/or health power-ups and sometimes a collectible patch, of which there are many. Attack abilities are mostly useless; I found jumping on enemies' heads to be easier than waiting on them to walk through a pug's fart cloud. Defensive abilities fair a bit better. One of them grants you three hearts of health every so often, which can be useful for boss fights and the more difficult levels. All abilities and characters are unlocked in a store using in-game currency that's earned by killing enemies, found throughout the level, and awarded at the end of levels based on performance and difficulty. Speaking of difficulty, there are four options to choose from, the default being easy mode. I tried a few levels on hard, the second lowest difficulty, and found them to live up to that label, adding more enemies that hit a bit harder. For the purpose of this review, I played most levels on the default easy difficulty, which proved challenging at times.  My only qualms with the game in general are that it seemed like not enough coins could be earned to unlock everything by the end (likely to entice players to go through the harder difficulties), that I had to watch cute pugs die, and that some characters used stereotypical gender signifiers. As you go through the levels as PewDiePie, you're joined by his two adorable pugs who will sacrifice their pugly lives instead of letting their owner take the last hit. Upon this sacrifice, they gib into little puppy chunks, and give a heartbreaking yelp. While this drove me to be more careful, it was disturbing. As for the gender signifiers, there are some barrels that are pink and give birth to smaller barrels upon death, and a rhino wearing lipstick -- a minor complaint but nothing I'll lose sleep over. While I didn't get any of the references or inside jokes like why PewDiePie is being attacked by barrels, or the copious amount of ducks and exploding cows, I could appreciate that it was something zany his fans will surely love. For those wanting a solid mobile platformer, consider dropping the five bucks on PewDiePie: Legend of the Brofist, as it has a kickass chiptune soundtrack, colorful levels, and tight touchscreen platforming. If you're a PewDiePie fan, then making the purchase is a no-brainer. The game took me a just over a couple of hours to complete, though completionists will be able to get a lot more mileage out of it. My time and money were well spent, and it almost made me want to watch a PewDiePie video. Almost. [This review is based on a retail build of the game purchased by the reviewer.]
Review: PewDiePie: LotB photo
*Yelling and farting sounds here*
Anyone who frequents YouTube knows who PewDiePie is, but if you don't, he is an over-the-top let's player that parents don't get and kids love, as well as the most-subscribed person on YouTube. And now he has his own game.&nb...

Must be expensive photo
Must be expensive

Assassin's Creed Syndicate features a transgender NPC

Cue the cries of 'caving to SJWs'
Sep 25
// Jed Whitaker
Great news everyone, Assassin's Creed Syndicate will feature the series' first transgender character! Ned Wynert is a trans male NPC who will provide quests to either of the playable characters. This announcement co...
Binary solo photo
Binary solo

P.A.M.E.L.A. looks like a beautiful yet depressing robotic future

Mass Effect + BioShock + Ex Machina
Sep 23
// Jed Whitaker
P.A.M.E.L.A. is the hot new indie game taking Steam Greenlight charts by storm, and it looks absolutely gorgeous. Surprisingly the game has a grand total of six artists working on it, according to this in-depth intervie...
Porn > video games? photo
Porn > video games?

Ron Jeremy thinks video games are boring and ruining our youth

Also talks about Super Hornio Bros.
Sep 23
// Jed Whitaker
Rom Jeremy aka The Hedgehog aka the chubby guy with the giant cock in all your parents' favorite porn films was recently interviewed by Vice discussing the Super Mario Bros. porn parody in which he starred called Super H...
Explain it to your granny photo
Explain it to your granny

PewDiePie and No Man's Sky to be on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

Which are you more excited for?
Sep 22
// Jed Whitaker
PewDiePie, the most-subscribed YouTuber in the world with the power to launch indie games into the limelight, will appear on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on Thursday, October 1, and reportedly will have some kind o...

Review: Aerannis

Sep 22 // Jed Whitaker
Aerannis (PC)Developer: ektomarch Publisher: ektomarch Released: September 15, 2015MSRP: $9.99Rig: Intel Core i7-3930K @ 3.2 GHz, 32GB DDR3 RAM, Nvidia GeForce GTX 980, Windows 10 64-bit, Intel 750 SSD After receiving an email from one of the developers stating you play as a transgender character, I couldn't help but give Aerannis a chance. I was rather surprised how well the Kickstarted game was able to mesh the adventure genre with a stealthy metroidvania. Traversing different parts of the cyberpunk world to find and complete missions -- mostly consisting of either stealthy sneaking, hits, or investigating -- was pretty satisfying and never felt dull.  The formula is overall pretty simple: Talk to your robot buddy / boss / NPC and receive a mission with directions, follow the directions till you find an arrow in front of described building, do the mission, rinse and repeat. The world isn't exactly huge, but save stations allow you to fast travel between them, thankfully cutting down on dull backtracking that many games in the same genre suffer from.  Missions are all relatively similar even if the goal at the end can be a bit different: Going from point A to point B while hiding or blasting enemies until you reach the goal. But thankfully new mechanics, weapons, and enemies are introduced along the way to keep things interesting, such as the abilities to hang from ledges, jump off walls, and drop varying types of bombs. In a few levels you'll also be tasked with taking down giant boss monsters, which are always satisfying and unique.  [embed]311778:60469:0[/embed] As someone who typically hates stealth sections in games, I actually found the stealth missions fairly enjoyable as they are a bit more action-oriented than games like Hitman. I found myself never having to wait more than a few seconds for an enemy to mill about allowing me to either sneak by or grab them from behind with the decision of instantly killing them or taking them hostage, with any option being equally satisfying.  Politics: this game has them and we have to talk about them. Seeing as you play as a transgender female in a world where men don't exist because... well... the game doesn't really ever explain this, nor does it explain how trans females exists with no males. Are babies born male and forced to be female? How are babies born? I feel like the developers had some kind of agenda with the game's story but never truly make it 100% clear one way or another, which is probably intentional. I imagine that players of every belief will be able to feel like Aerannis story falls into what they think if they wanted.  For instance, one section has you enter a part of the city known as TERF Turf, where radical feminists are in control and rally against "snowflakes" as they call them, a shortened version of the pejorative "special snowflakes" which is often used to slur transgender people. TERF is an acronym for "Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists" by the way, so it makes sense that the sign outside their part of town says "you must be this cis to enter" with a picture of a tampon. The game treats TERFs as the main villains even going as far as referring to them as Nazis, though without directly saying the word. So many people will take this as meaning "excluding trans people is bad" while others will surely interrupt it as "all feminists are bad," a distinction that is never directly made. My biggest gripe with the game is it never really says anything. Sure it talks about feminism, transgender people, and diversity, but what is the message it is trying to convey? In the end the whole thing kind of feels like the ramblings of a conspiracy theorist who finds the most radical outlier of a group and makes an example of them for what a said group must be like, when that isn't necessarily true. I have a hunch the developers' intentions was to try to hide a wolf in sheep's clothing or apply gotcha tactics by having players play as a transgender character while preaching to them about the dangers of feminism -- insert laughter here -- and it really just never works, mostly because the writing is less than great and the message isn't clear. For a game having two endings, neither really had much to say or made sense to the context of the rest of the game. One ending has the main character reveal a secret twist they had been keeping the entire game, which would be fine if their internal dialogue wasn't presented at times, which made the ending feel jarring and disconnected from the rest of the experience. The other ending just goes completely off the rails that had me audibly exclaim "What the fuck!?" Maybe that is part of the beauty of Aerannis -- aside from its crisp pixel art, matching soundtrack and solid gameplay -- is that it is like staring into the abyss of the mind of a conspiracy theorist, or any random internet hive-mind; it might not make much sense, it might be completely off kilter with the real world, and it might be the complete opposite of what I believe, but it was still good for a laugh. Aerannis is a beautiful, diverse metroidvania with solid mechanics mixed in with some tin-foil hat madness, and regardless of your political views you should give it a shot; you might just enjoy it, I know I did. [This review is based on a retail build of the game provided by the publisher.]
Review: Aerannis photo
Transgender Feminist Illuminati Blues
In a cyberpunk future where men cease to exist, a trans woman and for-hire assassin is fighting the feminist Illuminati that runs the government. Along the way she encounters shape shifting monsters that often are shaped like...

Review: Extreme Exorcism

Sep 22 // Jed Whitaker
Extreme Exorcism (PC, PS3, PS4, Wii U, Xbox One [reviewed])Developer: Golden Ruby Games Publisher: RipstoneRelease Date: September 23, 2015MSRP: $12.99 If you've played one of the many indie couch competitive games that have become popular in the past year or two, you know the drill here: gather three of your friends together and fight to the death. The gimmick in Extreme Exorcism is that winning a round causes a ghost to replay your previous actions, including firing weapons that can kill your enemies, or even yourself depending on the various customizable settings. By default each player can carry up to three weapons at a time, which spawn in predetermined places around each of over 45 stages. Weapons range from basic punches and kicks to rocket launchers, boomerangs, and magical staffs. While the variety of weapons is nice, nothing really feels original, though familiarity makes the game very pick-up-and-play friendly.  Matches are fast and furious, especially when playing with the maximum of four players. Each time someone wins a round, a ghost will spawn of their previous win, and ghosts stay on screen until exorcised via the purple wings weapon that spawns from time to time. The fact that you can potentially have ghosts from four different players running around the screen firing off rocks and kung-fu kicks in every direction makes for some hectic games.  [embed]311776:60466:0[/embed] For those of you without friends in real life, there is an arcade mode and the challenge mode. Arcade mode is a series of matches in each level of the game where you're required to kill so many of your previous ghosts to unlock each level. The first ghost is spawned by killing a possessed chair, which is super simple as the AI isn't anything special, as it doesn't need to be since you're fighting your ghosts. Arcade mode is simple enough to be enjoyable alone, but can be played with up to four players as well, working together towards an enjoyable fight with a boss in the final level.  Challenge mode, however, is for one player only. In 50 different challenges you'll be tasked with completing different goals such as killing 100 chairs with three lives, or completing five rounds only using a boomerang. The challenge mode lives up to its name. It is easily the most challenging part of Extreme Exorcism and will test even the most seasoned players. I was able to unlock every challenge, but completing them is a different story, though I didn't really feel pressed to complete them given that there is no real reward other than feeling accomplished, and achievements if you care about those.  If anything, Extreme Exorcism is a game for those who have tried TowerFall and Samurai Gunn at their parties and want something even more hectic, and bustin' makes them feel good; otherwise players new to the genre may feel a bit overwhelmed with the amount of on-screen action. As for me, I'll stick to the classics for my get-togethers. Simplicity is what appeals to me when I'm trashed and I'd rather not projectile vomit from my eyes trying to keep up with all those ghosts. [This review is based on a retail build of the game provided by the publisher.]
Review: Extreme Exorcism photo
No head spinning here
Four teenagers enter a haunted house and get killed by each other until ghosts show up. No, it isn't the plot to House on Haunted Hill but the mechanics of Extreme Exorcism, the new couch competitive game from Golden Rub...

Shirley Curry is a star photo
Shirley Curry is a star

Watch a 79-year-old grandmother play Skyrim, and have your heart warmed

She reminds me of my grandma so much!
Sep 19
// Jed Whitaker
Grandma Shirley, aka Shirley Curry, is a 79-year-old grandmother who "just had a beast of a gaming computer built," allowing her to "play like a Boss! LOL" according to her description on her YouTube channel. Shirley's first...
Sexy, sexy, sexy photo
Sexy, sexy, sexy

The New Xbox One experience is looking better than ever

The best parts of the Xbox 360 guide!
Sep 18
// Jed Whitaker
Xbox mouthpiece Larry Hryb and engineer Richard Irving preview the latest version of the Xbox One OS in the video above and it looks better than ever, if not a bit gray -- hopefully you can change that. Looks like the Xbox t...

Star Fox Zero has been delayed until 2016

Sep 17 // Jed Whitaker
Star Fox Zero had been scheduled to release on November 20, just in time for the holiday season. While it may make some people upset, as a Nintendo fan you kind of expect delay after delay which in turn guarantees a solid products upon release.  I suggest that in Star Fox's place Nintendo just go ahead and release Pikmin 4, which is apparently almost complete.
Nintendelayo photo
Rescheduled for Q1 of next year
Nintendo's Shigeru Miyamoto has announced that Star Fox Zero for the Wii U is being delayed and will no longer release this year: I made a big decision last week. We have been developing Star Fox Zero for Wii U with the...

The Sess and a porn star photo
The Sess and a porn star

Adam Sessler has the best haircut in this cheesy horror flick

Left games criticism for this?
Sep 17
// Jed Whitaker
Former X-Play co-host and all-around great video game critic Adam Sessler left the games media business last year to pursue a new career, but no one expected that to be acting in B movies. The above trailer for Lumberjack Ma...

Review: Zombie Vikings

Sep 16 // Jed Whitaker
Zombie Vikings (PC, PS4 [reviewed], Wii U)Developer: Zoink!Publisher: Zoink AB, Rising Star GamesReleased: September 1, 2015 (PS4), October (PC), Q4 2015 (Wii U)MSRP: $19.99 Stick It to the Man! developer Zoink! decided to keep the same great art style from that game for Zombie Vikings, which is a like a combination of papercraft, stickers, and a pop-up book. The graphics really pop during the entirety of this Norse brawler, and that is about all the good things I've got to say. If I listened to my kindergarten teacher and "only said something if I had something nice to say," I'd stop here and this would be a very short review, but I'm a big kid now. Speaking of kindergarten, the humor is about on that level. Be ready for poop and anus jokes. Seems like every fantasy adventure game has to make some kind of stupid reference to the Lord of the Rings movies, which I get are iconic and loved by many people, but if I hear one more "you shall not pass" joke, it had better be next-level, second-coming-of-Christ impressive, otherwise don't. I understand that some people reference things and kind of feel like it is an inside joke -- or something only '90s kids will get -- but it isn't funny, especially when done multiple times. [embed]310977:60391:0[/embed] Now that I've made it crystal clear I think the writing and comedy are unfunny garbage, let's move onto gameplay, which isn't terrible but isn't exactly standout either. Zombie Vikings has the typical beat-'em-up flair. You'll be jumping, running, blocking, dodging, and mashing buttons to beat your enemies senseless, as well as using each character's unique special attacks and abilities. These range from more powerful attacks to swooping from the sky like a crow on top of your enemies, and clearly make some characters better than others. All in all, you're still just mindlessly beating up the baddies without much thought. The problem isn't so much what you can do, but the variety of who you're doing it to, as most every level has a variety of three styles of enemies: tiny, medium, and large. The different styles of enemies vary in appearance between stages but perform mostly the same, and after thirty levels, I was bored to tears. Bosses mix it up a bit every few levels, often requiring specific new strategies to clear before you're sent back to the same repetitive enemies. Every now and then there will be levels that mix up the formula a bit -- such as a few where you're forced to run as fast as possible from enemies -- which are the only fun levels throughout the game. Two levels have you playing a game of what equates to soccer mixed with basketball against the CPU and they easily are the most infuriating levels due to the mechanics just not working; points are really hard to score because the goals are extremely finicky when deciding if your ball goes in. Online multiplayer matchmaking was either devoid of players or just didn't function -- neither option would surprise me. Multiplayer felt necessary as you can revive other players instead of being kicked back to checkpoints, and when I was playing alone, I found myself replaying sections far more often due to death than when playing with a local co-op buddy. The cherry on top of this shit sandwich is the insane amount of bugs and glitches I experienced while playing: persistent screen tearing, levels that wouldn't allow me to complete them due to enemies getting stuck off screen or objective items not spawning, enemies getting stuck on and inside terrain, and so on. Zoink! has already released a patch on the European PSN addressing some of these issues earlier this month, which is still absent in the US for one reason or another, but that doesn't excuse the state in which it was released. I can only review the product I have in hand, not what the game could potentially be. I'm a huge fan of the beat-'em-up genre. It can be rather repetitive, but typically that can be overlooked as the games tend to be rather short. Zombie Vikings, however, overstays its welcome and starts to get rather monotonous around halfway through. While it tries to throw in some interesting levels and boss fights, those mostly end up falling flat, just like the humor. On top of all that, the game is buggy with screen-tearing issues, subtitles not working properly, and glitches preventing levels from being completed. If you're looking for a beat-'em-up to play, I'd recommend Castle Crashers Remastered and the original trilogies of Final Fight, Golden Axe, Splatterhouse, and Streets of Rage. Those games are worth far more than the asking price of this tragedy. [This review is based on a retail build of the game provided by the publisher.]
Review: Zombie Vikings photo
Laugh at this bug-infested corpse
Comedy is as diverse as the world around it. Some people love Larry the Cable Guy. Others prefer Louis C.K. But one thing is for sure: not every comedian is for every person. The thing that makes you laugh may not make me lau...

Might Number of delays photo
Might Number of delays

Mighty No. 9 trial version delayed after being an apology for initial delay

Yo dog, I heard you like delays
Sep 16
// Jed Whitaker
Remember when Mighty No. 9 was delayed into 2016, and then a trial version was promised to release today to backers as a sort of apology for said delay? Today the official blog has announced the trial version has a "good chan...
Wrasslin' Chu photo
Wrasslin' Chu

Wrasslin' Pikachu Libre's new Pokken Trailer, OH YEAH!

Snap into a Poke Gym
Sep 15
// Jed Whitaker
Pokkén Tournament is looking like it is going to be the cream of the crop when it runs wild on Wii U in 2016, especially with Pikachu Libre (or is it Masked Pikachu?) in tow. Watch this hot new trailer that showc...
Undertale photo

Undertale is half EarthBound, half WarioWare, and nobody has to die

Date a skeleton? At least five dogs?
Sep 15
// Jed Whitaker
What if I told you there was a game that looked similar to EarthBound where you could befriend enemies instead of killing them, and combat is a mixture of turn-based and a WarioWare-like mini-game. Would you believe me? That...
Dunkey is temp banned photo
Dunkey is temp banned

Popular YouTuber banned from League of Legends for being toxic

No remorse, tantrums, rage quits
Sep 14
// Jed Whitaker
If you've played League of Legends, you probably have at one time or another been linked to a video by Dunkey, a popular YouTuber who primarily produces debatably hilarious content involving League of Legends and other ...
Too much DLC photo
Too much DLC

Anita Sarkeesian provides a list of all the sexy DLC available

Tropes vs Women: Women as Reward DLC
Sep 14
// Jed Whitaker
In the latest of the Kickstarter-funded Tropes vs Women in Video Games series, Anita explores more of the "Women as Reward" trope but this time specifically relating to DLC. Featured in the video is a really cringeworthy aut...
Woof! photo

New Pokemon from XY & Z revealed!

More Zygarde and Greninja!
Sep 12
// Jed Whitaker
The latest issue of CoroCoro has leaked online revealing multiple new never before seen Pokémon from the anime series Pokémon XY & Z. First up is a new version or color variation of everyone's favorite frog ...
Dankest Dropsy Beats photo
Dankest Dropsy Beats

Get a damp hug from a dank clown in Dropsy's launch trailer

Sing-a-long, even if the notes are wrong
Sep 10
// Jed Whitaker
The surreal point-and-click adventure game Dropsy is available now on PCs everywhere and to celebrate the occasion Devolver has released this hot new sing-a-long trailer that provides some insight into his damp world. Appare...
Collect ALL the pieces photo
Collect ALL the pieces

Day-one update removes nine-day wait on Super Mario Maker content

Just make some levels, ya dingus!
Sep 10
// Jed Whitaker
A patch for Super Mario Maker went live hours ahead of its official release that removes the requirement to wait nine days -- or set your Wii U system clock ahead -- to acquire all of the level editor parts.  The update ...

Review: Lovers in a Dangerous Spacetime

Sep 08 // Jed Whitaker
Lovers in a Dangerous Spacetime (Linux, Max, PC, Xbox One [reviewed])Developer: Asteroid BasePublisher: Asteroid BaseReleased: September 9, 2015MSRP: $14.99 Lovers in a Dangerous Spacetime takes place in outer space, the final frontier, a place of wonder filled with various anthropomorphic species, and a heart-shaped space station called the Ardor Reactor, which is powered by love and protected by the League Of Very Empathetic Rescue Spacenauts, also known as The Lovers. Everything was fine and dandy until the dark forces of anti-love destroyed the Ardor Reactor, ripped a hole in spacetime itself and took prisoner many of the lovely inhabitants. That is where The Lovers come in to save the day, running to and fro to control their circular spaceship while spreading love throughout the cosmos. While the story isn't exactly new -- evil force caused by evil being ruins the day, fix it -- the cute presentation and charm more than make up for it. Everything in Lovers is completely adorable, including the enemies. Lots of bright colors fill the screen, and love is emphasized at every turn. As you and a friend guide The Lovers through spacetime you'll be jumping from role to role inside various circular spaceships. Stations include thrusters, shields, turrets, navigation, and laser. Manning the guns is a pretty straightforward affair of aiming and firing, shields can be rotated around the ship to prevent damage from terrain, enemies, and projectiles, and the laser can be triggered causing it to automatically fire while rotating around the ship before needing to cool down. [embed]309747:60277:0[/embed] Piloting the ship is a bit different than any other game I've played. By default, you'll be rotating a thruster around the outside of your ship to determine what direction you'll be heading. If the thruster is on the bottom left of the ship, you'll be heading up and to the right, if it is on the top then you'll head down, and so on. While it may sound confusing, piloting only requires the brief tutorial to get used to and you'll be zipping through the cosmos in no time as if it were second nature.  Your goal throughout each colorful level in the four campaigns you'll be exploring is to find five of a possible ten captive critters to advance to the next stage. Collecting critters also increases your ranking, which unlocks different ships and upgrades for them, so exploring to find all ten critters per stage has its benefits. Gems are also found floating in containers in each stage and can be used to power up each station with power, beam, and metal abilities. Stations can be upgraded to hold two gems each, allowing you to mix and match gems to gain different effects. For example: two metal gems on the shield form a large spiky barrier that rotates a bit slower than other shields but provides more protection, or a power gem and a metal gem on a turret creates a powerful rocket that can be manually controlled. Experimenting with gems until you find the perfect configuration is exciting and leads to hilarious results, especially on the laser.  Campaigns have four levels and then a boss fight with massive creatures based on real-world constellations. Boss fights are as you'd probably expect: learn the bosses pattern, take its health bar down enough to piss it off, avoid an even larger barrage of attacks, success. Don't be fooled though, bosses are no pushovers and we found ourselves teetering on death whenever we finally defeated each boss.  Nearly every level seems to add at least one new enemy or mechanic, which keeps the entire journey fresh. The first campaign gives you the basics, before later campaigns add underwater combat, solar winds, and even wormholes that teleport you throughout the stage. Some of the more interesting stages include stationary defenses against waves of enemies and one particular stage that had to be completed in under five minutes before a star explodes killing everything in sight. We rushed through this time-limited level and ended up getting the last of ten bunnies with ten seconds to spare on the clock. We could see the exit as the clock hit zero, but luckily for us the explosion was a gradual one allowing us to make it by the skin of our teeth. I've never held my breath during a game as much as I have during Lovers, which makes the sigh of relief afterwards all that more rewarding. After finishing each campaign you'll be awarded a badge showing that you've completed it with each ship. While it isn't necessary to complete each campaign with each ship to reach the ending, it does add a bit of replayability and difficulty, especially if you're using the Jelly Roll ship. When piloting Jelly Roll your thruster rotates the entire ship, causing your controls to also change inside the ship along with it. When we played through one campaign with the Jelly Roll we found ourselves getting confused but laughing about it the whole time, though it certainly made the boss extra challenging. Completionists will be happy with the unlockable ships and added difficulty they provide.  Completing each campaign unlocks new cute Lovers to play as which don't change the gameplay, but instead just add to the overwhelming amount of cuteness the game already oozes. One of my favorite things about the Lovers is they have no gender signifiers, thus allowing you to technically be any gender you so wish to view yourself as. Those of you without a couch cooperative buddy -- as there is no online mode -- will be playing alongside a computer-controlled cat or dog that can be directed to man each of the stations at your will. Unfortunately your CPU partner will not control the thrusters, so all driving will be up to you, but the AI is very competent at the other stations. While Lovers is still very much playable as a single player title, it certainly shines as one of the best co-op experiences I've ever had and that is the way I feel it is meant to be experienced. Being able to blast asteroids and baddies out of the way while someone else is driving the ship is far more fun than watching an AI do it for you.  Lovers in a Dangerous Spacetime reminds me why I love video games, because it provides a unique and colorful journey to get totally immersed in that can be enjoyed with a loved one. Probably the most original game I've played to completion in the past five years, and worthy every penny of its asking price. If you've got a loved one to play with, do yourselves a favor and play this game as soon as possible, you won't regret a your lovely journey through space.
Dangerous Space review photo
The Power of Love
Throughout my history of gaming there have been games that stand out as important bonding experiences: Bubble Bobble with my mom, Bomberman with my college roommate, and now Lovers in a Dangerous Spacetime with...

Hotter than Hell photo
Hotter than Hell

Disgaea 5 has sexy eye candy for all, dood!

Also a pissing penguin
Sep 04
// Jed Whitaker
I've got my grubby hands on an early copy of Disgaea 5: Alliance of Vengeance for PS4 and decided to snap some screenshots -- which oddly get watermarked automatically -- while I do what I've done with every game in...

Review: Evoland 2: A Slight Case of Spacetime Continuum Disorder

Sep 04 // Jed Whitaker
Evoland 2: A Slight Case of Spacetime Continuum Disorder (PC)Developer: Shiro GamesPublisher: Shiro GamesReleased: August 25, 2015MSRP: $19.99Rig: Intel Core i7-3930K @ 3.2 GHz, 32GB DDR3 RAM, Nvidia GeForce GTX 980, Windows 10 64-bit, Intel 750 SSD Serving as a spiritual sequel, Evoland 2 doesn't require knowledge of the original game, which is a good thing for me as I've never played it. Judging by our review of the original, it sounded like a fairly short and linear experience, which the sequel is anything but -- for better and for worse. The story took around 16 hours to complete and even then there were a few optional collectibles that I didn't bother getting to 100% the game. They felt like filler. A majority of my time was spent in conversations with characters that often seemed to drag on as they talked about nothing in particular or kept a joke going for far too long. Between scenes, there are often transitions that almost feel tailor made to extend the playtime. For example, when climbing onto a boat, instead of just showing the main character get onto the boat, your party splits up and walks on one at a time.  The story of Evoland 2 is pretty par for the course as far as RPGs go: hero of time meets party members with their own conflicts, and travels through time collecting parts of an item to stop a terrible event from happening. You won't find anything too impressive, but there are at least a couple of twists to add a bit of flavor to a story we all know.  [embed]309159:60250:0[/embed] Once the dialogue ends is where the real fun begins. A majority of the game plays much like top-down Zelda games from the past meaning you'll be hacking and slashing enemies and solving puzzles in dungeons. Other times, you'll be playing levels based on many genres of old with tongue-in-cheek references to the games that popularized them including Cave shooters, Double Dragon, Puzzle Quest, and even Dance Dance Revolution. These levels work in your party's abilities seamlessly, which is impressive since there are so many different genres.  While these levels are parodies or homage to the games of old, I couldn't help but feel I'd rather be playing most of those games than the levels in Evoland 2. The beat-'em-up level's mechanics were pretty generic, and the tactical RPG level was tedious, while the Metroidvania and shooter levels were decent, especially the final level that combines the two in an experience unlike any other I've played. You'll be zipping around in the skies with the option of dropping to the ground when needed; the level was so great I couldn't help but wonder what an entire game in that style would be like. An optional collectible card game side quest that has you playing what feels like baby's first Hearthstone is entertaining, but as I'm a Hearthstone addict I wasn't tempted to finish it when I could just play the real thing instead. Throughout the entire experience, you'll be swapping between in-game times which have their own graphical styles that match up with Game Boy, 8-bit, 16-bit, and more modern-day 3D graphics. There isn't a lot of guidance or hand holding, and you're free to come and go as you please with the ability to do dungeons in any order starting around the middle of the story. Graphically, Evoland 2 nails the games and systems it is based on, from sleek pixel art to more modern 3D graphics. Unfortunately, my playthrough was not a bug-free experience for me, as I experienced stuttering, graphical glitches, getting stuck on the overworld map, and a red error that wouldn't leave the screen after the graphics failed to load. There have already been various updates fixing some of these issues, but leaving the game in the oven for a couple of more weeks probably would have been beneficial. That being said, a simple restart fixed all these issues making them minor but noticeable inconveniences.  Overall, Evoland 2 is a pretty good Zelda-style game with mediocre pieces and parts of other games mixed in; it doesn't reinvent the wheel but pays homage to the wheels that came before it. If you're thirst for an RPG and just can't decide what genre of RPG to play, or are just looking for your Zelda fix, this is the game for you. Otherwise you might just find yourself wishing you've played the games it is inspired by. [This review is based on a retail build of the game provided by the publisher.]
Review: Evoland 2 photo
I'm every genre, it's all in me
Real-time RPG, turn-based RPG, tactical RPG, hack and slash, bullet hell, beat-'em-up, rhythm, side-scrolling shooter, fighter, puzzler, platformer, Metroidvania, and more: Evoland 2 takes basically every classic genre a...

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