Zelda fans! Watch Link shoot Ganon with his nipples


Legend of Lactose

How many of you are holding farts down in your chairs twenty times a day? Sure, you indulge yourself like a Chinatown trash compactor, but have you ever considered that you might be lactose intolerant? Studies indicate that 75% of gamers who are 100% people aren't 25% lactoblasters, got that? If you're suffering from passive milk-related farts please try switching to almond milk, stay more hydrated in general, and don't drink so much goddamn coffee. These free flatulence management tips have been a public service announcement from a person that goes to gaming conventions with you.

As for more solid games journalism, here's Link squeezing his titties.

The creator of this video, Lyle McDouchebag, is set to make an appearance on Destructoid's soon-to-be-rebooted Youtube Channel.  If you've never heard of him I also recommend his Nihilist's Guide to E3, it's totally worth your nine minutes. Pull up a refreshing bowl of cold turtle blood and check out his channel, it's fiiiiiiire. FIIIIIRE!

You are logged out. Login | Sign up



Niero Gonzalez
Niero GonzalezMeat Vessel   gamer profile

I keep Destructoid weird. Also I'm a playable character in Retro City Rampage, look: (along with the whole 2009 Dtoid Editorial team) Sometimes I have a villainous mustache My dog CoCo chec... more + disclosures



Filed under... #Satire #The Legend of Zelda #Turtle Beach #video



You're not expected to always agree, but do please keep cool and never make it personal. Report harassment, spam, and hate speech to our community team. Also, on the right side of a comment you can flag nasty comments anonymously (we ban users dishing bad karma). For everything else, contact us!