I'm not trying to be mean, but really, it does. Check out the Fairlight Xynergi keyboard, which can be your baby for a cool $28k. It features "Self Labeling Illuminated Computer Keyswitch Technology," which is basically the fancy way of telling you that you can relabel the keys according to the use you need them for. Obviously this is a product aimed at media professionals (correction: filthy rich media professionals), but I had to show it to you just for the sake of novelty. All I can say is, I would expect this freaking robot to have breakfast ready and fully manage all my email before I even came out of REM sleep.
[Thanks to Aaron BlueWolf]