This New Xbox Experience trailer is some real awful sh*t

Ladies and gentlemen, straight from the Wii School of Cringe-worthy Commercials, we proudly present our latest feature. This is the official trailer for the New Xbox Experience, which truly cements Microsoft’s position as “that company desperate as f*ck for a ride on the Casual Gamer Gravy Train.”

It’s all here — cynically contemporary music, a bunch of conventionally pretty live-action jerkoffs parading around and showing off how normal they are, and … Army of Two? Really, Microsoft? 

This trailer is not designed for people like you and me. That said, nor are videos of people taking dumps on each other’s chests, and I’ll criticize that as well. The only difference here is that the NXE video is slightly less sexy than scat porn.