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They met online, had sex, and then he stole her gaming collection, deputies said

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There's plenty of dickheads in the sea

[The original article said a woman would have sex for $25 worth of McNuggets, but she was willing to hit for $25 AND McNuggets, which is less surreal but still hilarious. The article was also updated to shield me from libel just in case Gainesville's Jack Sparrow has lawyer.]

One of my favorite Twitter accounts is @_FloridaMan, which proves that reality is stranger than fiction. I usually tune in to hear about meth heads, people with pet alligators, incest, and fashion advice, but this week I beat him to a scoop! This week a sentient bag of dog vomit hooked up with a lady, then came back to her house in a mask and robbed all her videogames at gunpoint, at least according to police.

He denied the alleged crime also told police that she was his "side girlfriend" and got her name completely wrong. It gets better - he committed the robbery while his 3 year old child waited in the car. Before fleeing the scene he also pistol-whipped a 68 year old man.

Dad of the year!

The victim said she had sex with duder, 23, then around 1 a.m. Monday, he returned to the home on Silver Lane in Ocala armed with a gun and wearing a bandana over his face an hour later, the arrest report said.

Kareem forced the woman inside at gunpoint and took a Wii and PlayStation from the front room, deputies said.

He then forced her to unplug a white Xbox from the living room, according to the report.

It kind of makes you wonder - was she hogging the controller? They could have been bumping uglies and karts.

Mr. Wonderful allegedly fled the residence with 10 games and the systems, but was soon caught by police after they dialed 911. A deputy rushing to the scene spotted a car with a broken light and somehow knew it was the dude. Spider sense?

At the time of writing we're unsure what happened to her save file or if she lost any rare drops, or if she's related to the Florida woman who agreed to sex for $25 AND McNuggets.

There's an important lesson here kids - don't date guys from Florida. An Orlando news site reports that they met online on the dating site PlentyOfFish. I went through 10 pages but couldn't find his profile before they force registration. Seems like there's lots of dudes with great abs who aren't looking for anything serious.

Oh, look a PC gamer with a computer science degree! But does he floss? 


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Papa Niero
Papa NieroMeat Vessel   gamer profile

I've been writing about video games on Destructoid for almost 12 years. It would be insane to stop now. I do a lot of stuff behind the scenes here, but mostly my job is to keep Destructoid wei... more + disclosures


 



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