The top 5 worst fighting games has a new king


WORST-FIGHTING-GAMES.jpg I take back every nasty thing I've ever said about Primal Rage, Bloodstorm, TimeKillers, and Fighter's History. A lot of work was put into these four horrible games, and for the first time in my life, I can appreciate that. Why? Because my burning eyes have met a fighting clone that looks so absolutely horrible that the low standard has been completely rewritten. In fact, it's like B-movie bad - so awful that you cannot wait to get your friends huddled around your sofa and laugh at these poor people's expense for hours on end. indie.png You don't want to do it, because it's an indie game and they should be supported. And yet, there is apparently some kind of unspoken threshold that has been crossed here, so I'm not pulling any punches. If, having reviewed this work, these people decided to release it into the public domain on purpose, they deserve to be the butt of the community's ire. And here at Destructoid, we are proud to crown them the ultimate feces king of what could possibly be the sh1tt13st fighting video game ever created. HAIL YOUR NEW KING - DARK PRESENCE! Just don't smell your hands. Or this is game Conquering Light? I can't tell the difference, and it doesn't matter. Both of them are going to be so awesome, I can't wait. Just look at these characters!!!!! kinky.jpg It's hard to make a video game from scratch, and pretty much next to impossible to make a good one by today's high standards. And yet, so very easy to make one that embarasses everyone you know into wishing they'd never met you. ElMoco Tony tipped us of a Kotaku article he had also tipped, making him the triple tipster, as it's also on his blog the Endagered Gamer. Like I said, nobody likes to pick on an indie game developer; but when it's this extreme, I feel like posting untouched promotional photos from the web site are decimating enough! I would wager to say that the three worst arcade fighting games ever produced are (3) Fighter's History, (2) Primal Rage, and (1) Blood Storm ... and this guy on his Galloping Ghost is going to bump all of them off the map and sink to a whole new low with Dark Presensce. The game is being created with decent equipment so it looks like a Mortal Kombat... but as soon as your eyes grasp what the volunteer actors are wearing you will want to stab yourself in the face. screen3.jpg Want to know how NOT to make a Mortal Kombat clone? Choose only people who look like they'd put you in a hospital, not goth Craiglist readers. Don't use a photographer who's idea of post processing is a glow filter in Photoshop. And the golden rule - do not dress your fighters in plastic loose fitting halloween armor. You would think that these simple unspoken principles would never be foresaken, but you can't underestimate the power of bad taste within some gifted, misunderstood guy (who placed himself as two of the games characters and put himself at the top of the roster. I'm making that assumption but I'm pretty sure I'm spot on.). And thus, a cult classic is born. darklogo.jpg Nevermind that I just trashed this game like a stillborn baby fetus, I honestly cannot wait to get my hands on this game. You know it's going to be Rocky Horror good, I'm going to love whipping all these lame characters' arses. I can't wait to play the football player rapist! (They were all in love with dying and they were doing it in Texas) laugh.jpg In all seriousness, I really hope Galloping Ghost understands that although they did not set out to create a ridiculous game, they have, and thus should embrace it. My advice is to ham it up. Bask in the suck. Market it as the worst fighting game ever known to man. It can work if they accept the reality of it, and leverage it. Because the second they make a fuss about the game trying to be a serious Mortal Kombat followup, it becomes a running joke. It didn't start here and it won't stop here - and off it goes to the next blog for further banishing! Thanks Tony, you made my day.

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Filed under... #Fighting Games #Indie #Love to hate it



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