Hello, I am your host, Cock Inyourson, and welcome to the No Meat Spin Zone. This is my personal segment on Foxtoid that allows me to tell you all how extremely retarded you are for not agreeing with me, and that I'm a shark, which means that you must S my D. But before the D S-ing commences, I have an exclusive news story to share with you all.
Millions of truckers all across these beautiful United States of America have declared a strike due to Satan-raping toys called videogames, one being Sega's 18 Wheeler: American Pro Trucker. Sega, as you may not know, supplies children with speed and crack, which makes them go fast, fast, faster faster faster.
When we interviewed one of the truckers as to why Sega's vile game had such an influence on causing them to strike, this was said:
"We truckers aren't violent people. In that game, it made players smash into other trucks so the truckers would lose their cargo. In reality, the only time truckers like to smash into other truckers is when we're having giant gay anal sex orgies."
The other game that has caused quite a stir in the trucking community belongs to Empire Interactive and their game Big Mutha Truckers. We questioned another trucker who had this to say:
"Listen here, boy. That dang game be making fun of us trucksters for being inbreeds hicks. How dares they, I say. So what if my sister happens to be my mother, grandmother AND step son?! I dang nabit don't give a dang."
Now that the truckers are on strike, I have to find a new means of ordering my Thai work boys/sex slaves. It is my mission to take out the videogame industry once and for all now.
[Via GameTab, which was viaed on News4Gamers, which was submitted from Major Nelson's Twitter, who found it in RawMeatCowboy's beard, who baked a cake to Michael McWhertor on Kaketaku, who found it tattooed on Flynn De Marco's body, who got it from Game|Life's Señor MMO writer Earnest Cavalli after waking up together in bed together, who stole it from Rocco Bott, inspired by Drunkmac.]