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The Mario Brothers are slinging energy drinks under the table

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Years of hitting mushrooms will do that

The review scores of Mario Sports Superstars drove the Mushroom Kingdom to drinking, and the drink of choice is a new brew of DEKAVITA C, which roughly translates to "Big Vitamin C".  It's Suntory Corporation's watery, less acrid version of a weak-ass Red Bull with special vitamins and minerals and shit. The ads are playing on Japanese television and I also found a bunch of them all over the JR Line in Shibuya. We've seen Nintendo do a ton of crossovers in the past years, including a bizarre Mercedes-Benz crossover that didn't end in people flipping cars. I'm in Tokyo for 3 more days then getting the fuck out of Asia like the avian flu. 

It's an all-star cast: The guy playing Mario is Toma Ikuta, a popular actor from Johnny's Entertainment, Luigi is Sosuke Ikematsu, the Princess is Moe Sasaki, and Toad is the child actor Kokoro Terada.  There's also the totally fake gamer girl (look for the product placement next to the sofa, blink and you'll miss it!) whose blood type is O and was in a controversial commercial where she sprays water on her breasts and then turns into a giant barbecued eel, because Japan. Happy stalking!

Japanator extra credit: here's the banned eel commercial:

I didn't have the heart to shove these guys out of the way for the photo, so I waited like a good boy for a few train stops.

They're just playing a sweaty round of golf but my first impression was THUG LIFE.  Check out the gallery at the bottom of the page and zoom in for feelings. 

Maybe Nintendo will build out the Switch eShop with all this DecaVita money?  

That shit's basic, yo. 

Bonus Deux:  Mario Kart and the highest pair of pants in JR security.  I wouldn't argue with that guy even if he's somebody's grandfather. Those old guys have seen things. The mom looks way more into it than the kids.  Way to go, fake gamer kids! You had one job!

Weegee's Spanish stache reminds me of my grandfather, whose name was actually Mario.  He worked on the railroad in Guines and wore a similar cap.  True story!  Oh, unrelated: As I'm typing this I'm watching Japanese people asking a Colombian man to get a large rat out of their bathroom. He just grabbed it by the tail and they cut to a scene where it's dead and hanging on a stick as he walks into the darkness. I like old people, and wouldn't mind being one of them with the exception of losing the ability to control when you poop.  In Japan, adult diapers outsell children's diapers. Think about that when you try not to wet your bed tonight.  

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Niero Gonzalez
Niero GonzalezMeat Vessel   gamer profile

I keep Destructoid weird. Also I'm a playable character in Retro City Rampage, look: (along with the whole 2009 Dtoid Editorial team) Sometimes I have a villainous mustache My dog CoCo chec... more + disclosures


 


 



Filed under... #commercial #japanator #Mario #video

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