What did Tarzan say to the Jamaican? You Jamaican, me Tarzan
No longer tormented by the ants, I'm again able to stock Kahlua, which means my first white Russian in ages. With cream instead of milk, too. Now I'm going to go get tikka masala. Not bad.
I walked in on my friend playing Grand Theft Auto V last night. It was dark and he was wearing sunglasses. He's been playing for eight straight hours today (mostly without sunglasses). When's the last time you played a game that long? I can't remember. X-COM, maybe.
I started replaying Catherine but then E3 interrupted that. I should get back to that this weekend. You, meanwhile, should go outside instead of watching Japanese cartoons and browsing the net. Hug your mother (or I will).
Here's last week's post. Let's begin anew.
[We post a lot of articles here at Destructoid. The endless, ouroboros news cycle has us burning the snake at both ends, which will ultimately push big news, thoughtful original pieces, and all sorts of other great content off of the front page. Check here every Saturday for my attempt to rectify that.]
The title says it all, doesn't it? Wet Brett #3 Makedonski gathered up these pieces of art from the Destructoid staff and then you lovely folks outdid everyone in the comments.
How's Destructoid wrapping up E3? Frantically cranking out previews from the press room? Hustling around the show floor to see as much as possible? We probably should be. Instead, we're drawing pictures of Kirby.
Really really good pictures of Kirby.
Destructoid's Best of E3 2014 winners! - Hamza Aziz
It's Metal Gear's grandiose self-seriousness with enough juxtaposition of weird, quirky stuff to make it interesting. To make it surprising. That capacity to surprise, to offer something new, even within a set staple mechanics, is why it's our E3 2014 Game of the Show. -- Steven Hansen.
You saw our E3 2014 Game of the Show. It was Metal Gear Solid V. Saved you a click.
Now, it's a good one. In fact, I wrote about why it was our Game of the Show in that very post you just didn't click. But E3 was full of games like I'm full of curry. And Destructoid is an island of misfit toys sort of collection of miscreants, not a hive mind. So let's see what tickled everyone else's earlobes this year.
And, hey, now you can tell like 20 different people why they're wrong about games instead of just one!
Not only did CD Projekt Red's third entry into the fantastic Witcher series impress the pants off our own Max Scoville (not to mention numerous other editors), but it won your hearts and minds as well, blowing the rest of the competition out of the water! And what's not to like? The world is enormous, the graphics are gorgeous, and the gameplay promises to expand on the already successful Witcher formula; sounds like a winning combination to me!
These were the best trailers of E3 2014 -Wet Brett Makedonski
It's important to remember that trailers need to be taken with a grain of salt. They might accurately portray the title. Rather, they may eventually completely misrepresent the game entirely. Regardless of what the future holds for each, these were the trailers that best captured our attention last week.
The 5 best parts from the E3 demo of MGS V: The Phantom Pain - Max Scoville
Sure, you could go watch the whole half-hour demo of Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain we saw at E3, but then you don't get to look at my pretty face. Also, an animal shows up at the end of this video! Can you guess what it is?
Video: No Man's Sky impressions - Max Scoville
Of all the games we saw at E3, No Man's Sky is probably the most difficult to describe without sounding like we just came down from a mescaline trip. A procedurally-generated universe filled with millions of planets? Each with new and unique flora and fauna? Spaceships that shoot lasers? This is definitely a high concept game. Hopefully, the final product delivers, because it sounds cool as hell.
Just Saiyan: The Advanced Adventure Saga! Part One - Bill Zoeker, Max Scoville
In this episode, we beat up boar bandits, fall down holes, and have uncomfortable conversations about Yamcha and Tien's relationships with their small companions.
Hardline 23: A whole lot of E3 talk - Jordan Devore, Steven Hansen, Hamza Aziz, Brett Makedonski
E3 2014 has come and gone. It was a week packed full of announcements, hands-on sessions with new games, and consumption of gross food. But we survived, more or less. I got together with Brett, Hamza, and Steven to recap the highlights from Sony, Microsoft, and Nintendo's events and run down some of our favorite games of the show. But before that, we covered the topics that truly matter most -- like juicing.
Kyoto Wild is a quick but thoughtful Bushido brawler - Brett Makedonski
Despite some roughness, I had a great time playing Kyoto Wild. Upon ending each match, it was only a matter of seconds until someone fired up a new one to everyone's delight. Once it's polished, it'll be a fine brawler -- the kind you and your friends can use to declare supremacy over one another over and over again.
This is a strange beast in my brain right now. Its pacing is sure to turn off players who prefer faster action. It is not a game about dogfighting so much as it is about moving as a team, maintaining strategically advantageous positioning, and using abilities effectively. With its standard class archetypes and huge ships, it plays almost like an MMORPG dunked in molasses. And yet, I still feel compelled to check it out when it releases. I am not even sure that I really enjoyed my time with it, but I am sure that I want to spend more time with it to find out.
The Talos Principle explores philosophy and lasers - Darren Nakamura
Exploration is a key component, because a good portion of the philosophical questions are delivered through it. Jubert's goal in crafting the story was to make it a personal affair, with the idea that "whatever kind of philosophical baggage you carry around with you, you'll be able to express that in the game." Part of the time, a godlike voice in the sky will talk to the player, and part of the player's expression is that he can choose to listen or ignore the voice at will.
I couldn't believe the size of Dragon Age: Inquisition's world - Brett Makedonski
By the time the 30-minute presentation was up, I realized that we had barely even scratched the surface of what Dragon Age: Inquisition will have to offer. With a massive play space that changes based on in-game decisions and actions, dynamic RPG offerings, and an entire story to tell,Inquisition needs several hours to express what it's all about -- not just a thirty minutes. That being said, a half hour was sufficient time to impress; I can't imagine more time wouldn't just build on that.
Titan Souls makes you feel tiny as you take on the biggest bosses - Brett Makedonski
Titan Souls was first introduced to the world as a combination of Shadow of the Colossus meetsDark Souls. The Shadow of the Colossus part comes from the fact that there are only eight enemies in the game, and they're all boss-like in stature (Update: Devolver reached out to us to clarify that there will be "20 titans or so" in the final version). The Dark Souls bit has to do with the unrelenting difficulty. That's an easy sell to a lot of people that know their videogames.
Story of Seasons wants you to connect with your inner farmer - Natalie Kipper
Beyond farming, customization looks like a big part of the experience. You can design the look of your farmer along with the layout of your farm as well as certain areas of the town. Some of the previous titles gave you free reign over your town's layout but Story of Season's has limited it to sections of land that you win ownership of during festival competitions. I can see some people being disappointed at this design choice but it looks like there will still be plenty for those customization maniacs to meticulously plan.
Do you love setpieces? You'll probably like Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare - Brett Makedonski
Given thirty minutes to watch Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare, there are certainly mechanical changes being made to the way the game plays. However, its reliance on setpieces and scripted action makes sure that nothing strays too far from the Call of Duty formula. Maybe Advanced Warfare isn't really as advanced as everyone claims. But, maybe that sort of service to the fans keep millions of them loyal year after year. And, hey -- maybe that isn't a bad thing at all.
Rollers of the Realm: A nice surprise - Dale North
Rollers of the Realm is quite a bit more pinball than RPG, but the mix of elements makes feel like the biggest, most involved pinball table ever. As an RPG fan, i welcome the varied challenges. I’m not great at pinball, but after seeing what I did at E3 I’m sure I’ll be taking on the challenge anyway.
Persona 4 Arena Ultimax first hands-on at E3 2014 - Dale North
From what I saw, I expect to get the same level of enjoyment from Persona 4 Arena Ultimate as I did its predecessor. I enjoyed playing with all of the characters, trying out their moves, exploring their respective stories, and taking on friends in casual matches. For me, this game is Personaenough to be enjoyable even if it is outside my wheelhouse. Of course, for the well-versed fighting game fan, there’s another level of enjoyment offered here on top of that.
Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate: E3 first hunt - Dale North
Every time I play Monster Hunter I think about how I could see myself easily giving up dozens of hours of my life to it. A portable game with a huge, varied world and plenty of challenging situations is the ideal game for me. Add in cooperative play and thrilling boss fights and you have a game that s dangerously tempting for me. I really enjoyed my couple of demo missions at E3. Maybe it’s time I stop being a Monster Hunter newbie.
HOTTEST, SLIMIEST NEWS OF THE WEEK
Tuesday Newsday: Destiny, Halo, GTA V and Emoji - Max Scoville
Here's some very flaccid news in the wake of E3 -- Destiny's Alpha is over, with a Beta next month. The game'll be a Sony exclusive in Japan. The new dude from Halo 5: Guardians has been named Agent Locke, and he'll be introduced in the Nightfall series. Capcom is essentially up for sale, kinda, sorta, and Nintendo's selling more Wii U's than you might've thought. Ubisoft apparently nerfed Watch Dogs' PC capabilities, and GTA V on PS4, PC, and Xbox One looks great and will have hammerhead sharks. Oh yeah and there's new Emoji. What? Emoji's sort of a video game.
Capcom shareholders vote not to block company sale - Abel Girmay
Capcom announced today that its latest shareholder meeting has resulted in an official end to the company's buyout defense. Originally placed in 2008, the defense strategies were set in motion to defend Capcom from being acquired by any one person or entity trying to suddenly buy a majority stock.
Metroid producer talks two possible Metroid games - Chris Carter
Takahasi mentioned that there are two different approaches they could take -- the Metroid Prime style and the traditional 2D style. Ok, so talking about how great those games are is always fun, but here's the kicker -- Takahasi states in interview with Kotaku, "We feel that we need to take care of both of these styles of play. And the hope is that at some point in the near future we'll be able to share something about them."