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#The Jimquisition


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Jimquisition: Damn Fine Coffee

How do you like your coffee? Blacker than midnight on a moonless night? Or is that just what you want people to think? Asking consumers what coffee they drink is a fine example of demonstrating exactly how problematic a focus group can be ...

 
 
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Jimquisition: When The Starscreams Kill Used Games

The Xbox One will kill used games and control second-hand sales, and some people think that's great. Jim Sterling is not among them. While members of the gaming media attempt to see the positive side of murdering the used game market and s...

 
 
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Jimquisition: Xbox One out of Ten

The Xbox One was revealed this weak to thunderous applause. Oh wait, did we say applause? We meant, farts. Thunderous farts. Speaking of farts, here's a man who loves the smell of his, tearing Microsoft's unified entertainment philosophy t...

 
 
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Jimquisition: Guns Blazing

Dark Souls 2 is all about going in, guns blazing, and hoping to God it works. Oh dear. Namco Bandai's PR chief recently shone a spectacular light on the broken mentality of "AAA" publishers, describing the promotion of high profile ga...

 
 
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Jimquisition: Objectification And ... Men?

A common argument in the ongoing debate over gender and videogames is that women and men both are equally objectified. Is that really true? As always, Emperor God King Jim Sterling puts His holy foot down and delivers wisdom true to the ma...

 
 
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Jimquisition: Lawsuits, Memes, and Tasty Medicine

Warner Bros. and 5th Cell are facing a lawsuit over the inclusion of Keyboard Cat and Nyan Cat in Scribblenauts. Preposterous, you say? Greedy, are the meme makers? I say well done them! It's absolutely about time Warner Bros. got a t...

 
 
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Jimquisition: Boob Wars and Dragon Crowns

Dragon's Crown has become the latest game involved in a big argument. Big boobs, burly dwarves, and Kotaku were all involved. Gender issues in games are important. They are worth thinking about. They are, contrary to popular belief, f...

 
 
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Jimquisition: Among the Sleep

Among the Sleep is an upcoming horror game, all about being a two-year-old child. Yeah, it's spooky! The game's currently trying to get Kickstarter funding and, unlike many Kickstarters, your ol' pal Jim Sterling thinks it h...

 
 
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Jimquisition: Perfect Pasta Sauce

This week, Jimquisition gives you a brief lesson in pasta sauce, and ties it into the misguided quest for perfection currently plaguing the so-called "AAA" title scene. Expanding on a few ideas found in last week's episode, today...

 
 
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Jimquisition: Dark Souls and Dark Sales

Dark Souls sold over two million copies and is a bonafide success. Tomb Raider sold over three million copies and is a disappointing failure. Wut? Different projects obviously have different standards for success, but the di...

 
 
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Jimquisition: Why An Always-On DRM Console Is Dumb

Just talking about an "always-on" Xbox is a really dumb idea. Hopefully not even Microsoft would be so stupid, but just in case any of the platform holders are seriously considering this awful, nasty little idea, let Jimquis...

 
 
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Jimquisition: The Creepy Cull of Female Protagonists

The game industry doesn't want female characters. That is allegedly the message publishers have been sending to developers. As female characters get hidden from the front covers of games and projects with leading ladies are passed over in ...

 
 
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Jimquisition: Innovation - Gaming's Snake Oil

There's nothing wrong with a game that innovates. There's everything wrong with a game that goes out of its way to innovate without reason. Like any tool, innovation is neither good nor bad, and it has its specific uses. However, some deve...

 
 
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Jimquisition: SimShitty

DRM is back again, and it's here to stay! Games are a service, so we're told, but who do they really serve? SimCity's failure to launch thanks to ludicrous DRM restrictions has been the hot topic of the week, and naturally there's a J...

 
 
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Jimquisition: New Generation, Old Bullsh*t

The PlayStation 4 was announced last week, but Sterling wasn't quite feeling the buzz. The PS4 is interesting, Sony's plans are promising, but the industry itself, and the culture of business around console games? THAT is what needs a new ...

 
 
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Jimquisition: Previewed, Preordered, Prescrewed

Preorder culture expects gamers to trust developers more than ever, but how does that work when they inspire so little faith? The "take cash now, provide content later" tactic is currently serving companies well, but with recent disappoint...

 
 
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Jimquisition: A-LIE-ns: Colonial Marines

Waking through Gearbox's walkthrough of Aliens: Colonial Marines. That is, the Aliens: Colonial Marines Gearbox wanted the world to believe in, not the one that actually happened. While demo footage is not representative of the f...

 
 
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Jimquisition: Companies Exist to Make Money

Jimquisition's had it wrong all this time. Videogame companies exist to make money, so it was foolish to ever suggest their anti-consumer policies are awful, reckless, and deserving of criticism. That was all sarcasm, just then.

 
 
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Jimquisition: Breaking the Bones of Business

A new business model comes along, designed to attract gamers with interesting ideas and consumer-friendly pricing. The old businesses latch onto it. The old businesses pervert it to suit their own miserable ends. Free-to-play? Mobile gamin...

 
 
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Jimquisition: Accepting the Isms

Games are racist. Games are homophobic. Games are sexist. And that's okay! Well, maybe not OKAY, but it is alright to acknowledge that, sometimes, videogames get it wrong. Everybody gets it wrong, and games can't be the exception. When som...

 
 
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Jimquisition: Only the Lonely

The videogame industry wants you to believe that the offline experience is for miserable loners. Lonely is bad. Lonely is sad. Lonely people want lonely games because they don't have any friends. Only the lonely want to be disconnected, an...

 
 
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Jimquisition: Desensitized to Violence

Warning -- Contains graphic content. If you don't want to see disturbing Internet things, skip the footage starting at 1:20 and ending at 1:49.  As the mainstream news media continues to revel in the Sandy Hook shootings, its pundits ...

 
 
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Jimquisition: Epic Hole (B Mine Cliffy)

Over a year ago, Cliff Bleszinski (then of Epic Games) and myself had a public falling out and have never traded a word since. Ever a man of peace and goodwill, I hereby extend the olive branch the only way I know how -- with a little help...

 
 
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Jimquisition: The Sh*tiest games of 2012

There's something to be said for tradition, and the Jimquisition's most sacred tradition is the year-end evisceration of the very worst games released. Quake in fear, O ye creatively impoverished fools! Presented to you with a slight ...

 
 
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Jimquisition Awards Game of the Year: The Walking Dead

The final Jimquisition Award is here! Four days have passed, four winners have been crowned. Now is time to hail the game of the year. This is 2012's ultimate champion. Was there any doubt as to what it was?

 
 




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Reviews   filter by...

Lost Wing"One wing isn't even enough to leave"

 

Mobile Suit Gundam Extreme Vs. Maxiboost On"Lives up to the extreme hype"

 

Merchant of the Skies"Technically, it's a rigid airship"

 

Hellbound"Not-so-stuck-in-the-'90s"

 

Frog Fractions: Game of the Decade Edition: Hop's Iconic Hat"Probably the most colons I've ever put in a headline"

 

Fall Guys: Ultimate Knockout"Let the bodies hit the floor"

 

Void Terrarium"Morbius? Morbius?!"

 

Nioh 2: The Tengu's Disciple"Remember the Lunar Staff? It's back (in Nioh form)"

 
 
 

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Xeo

I BUSTED my ass all weekend long to get this skin! But It finally just Took winning 8 games, no easy (And 2 free Crowns from the season pass track I can say this, I think Im a helluva lot better at this game now than

 
LaserPirate

Who am I kiddin, who am I foolin When they be like Whats up Fatlip?, and I say Coolin

 
Hypno

Sekiro backlogged again because I’m back on my Slay the Spire I dont think I’ll have the fortitude to get all the way to A20, but I have Ironclad, Silent, and Defect all up to :P i hate and love this Mostly hate

 
Cathedral

I studied Latin and I dont remember anything about it except when I see the name Pall Mall when Im getting

 
Jetter Mars

Behold ma meres baking skillzzz!!! (This is for my Grandmas 96th Birthday)

 
Voltaic Owl

Ok, I’ve got a little under an hour and a half to play Titanfall 2 before the PS+ weekend Update will minutes to download?? Fuck it, back to

 
Cathedral

She talks to angels

 
indigit4l

I jump over or avoid water and puddles in games, and try not to ride through fields with crops Part of my ocd I

 
A Luigi Fanatic

I cant listen to this song anymore without bursting into Thanks

 
Riley1sCool

Why is it that I have double posted about DCs zombie events?

 
 

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