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Wanking Simulator achieves release this fall

I'd normally save this sort of thing for my weekly weird games roundup, but I was too excited to restrain myself. I was practically turgid with anticipation, and the only way to sate my raging emotion was to whip it out and spread the news ...

 
 
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Contest: Win a Switch copy of Safety First!

The name of the game is safety in today's contest for a Switch copy of Safety First! I don't think I've ever been this happy in my entire life. Seriously. Well, maybe once. But this is definitely the second happiest I've ever been. And it's...

 
 
 
 
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Keep your dingus warm in SCUM's Winter update

Tis the season for murdering each other on a prison island, so SCUM is getting into the festivities with a new update. To get your winter wonderland on, players will be able to explore a snow covered map, get into snowball fights and sled d...

 
 
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Contest: Win Breathedge for Steam

Ready for some more free games? Today Breathedge is up for grabs -- don't miss out on this contest! I don't know of many games where an immortal chicken is used as a tool to break things, plug leaky pipes, and scan electronic equipment. In ...

 
 
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Review: Genital Jousting

Gaming is such a strange and wonderful hobby. You can play in recreations of history’s greatest moments, explore alien planets, race in futuristic space craft and now play as a big floppy penis that is trying to insert itself in the a...

 
 
 
 from  japanator
 
 
 
 from  our Community Blogs
 
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From our community  

How to Self-Destructoid

[With emotions riding high in the community, Deadmoon shares with us why exactly it is he loves this crazy, broken Dtoid family. <3 ~ JuIc3] A lot of my friends make fun of me when I tell them that I'm an active part of an online communi...

 
 
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My introduction to the Destructoid tip line

So, one of the main benefits of joining the writing staff here is that I've been included on the tip line. Basically, anyone in the world can send an e-mail to [email protected], and the writing staff can sort through those submissions a...

 
 
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YouPorn eSports team banned by league

YouPorn, which my colleagues tell me is a supplier of online "adult" entertainment, sponsors an eSports team, Team YP. It has since 2014, back when I wrote, "More like spornsporning an eSporn team." Hah, nice. Unfortunately, this relationsh...

 
 
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Hot Mess: 10 Years of Destructoid party photos

There's something about the Mr. Destructoid helmet that brings out the animal in people. I've seen sheepish tiny McChicken-like boys turn into fearless crotch-thrusters, running up on stages and doing what three shots of Jager could not aff...

 
 
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Friday Night Fights - Happer Nooo Yur!

Dear lord it's bright. Worked till 6am, drank till 8 and back up at 12pm. Choices. Ugh. It's almost 1pm and I need to go back to work. At least it's Friday and it's a short, 4hr shift. It's the little things. Now excuse me, there's ham on m...

 
 
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Destructoid's award for Overall Best Game of 2015 goes to...

The downfall of Japanese game development has been greatly exaggerated. It sort of reminds me of what happened a century ago, when Dr. Kellogg introduced Kellogg's Corn Flakes in hopes that it would reduce masturbation. Kellogg devoted much...

 
 
 
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Friday Night Fights - Ch-ch-ch-chaaaanges

Well isn't this Hunky Dory? A nice little Friday. We have a new Call of Duty to play together. We have a new Fallout to play with ourselves (HA! HA!). We have herpes. Wait, that's just me. My bad. "So shut up and tell us what's changing Mik...

 
 
 




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Reviews   filter by...

Harry Potter: Wizards Unite"Quite Dursley-ish"

 

The Council: Episode 5: Checkmate"This one is dedicated to you, Soulbow"

 

Super Mario Maker 2"I miss the stylus"

 

Stranger Things 3: The Game"It's weird that this hit the Switch before a Netflix app, right?"

 

Blazing Chrome"I ran to this Contra affair"

 

Dr. Mario World"Dr. Feelgood microtransactions"

 

Umihara Kawase Fresh!"Swingers club"

 
 
 

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Games and Stuff

I got a question for any Gundam Fans on What did you all think of 00 as a series? I see it passed as average to bad in most circles, but Gundam Enthusiast Mike Sounders once told me its a money So Im curious, quality wise, thoughts?

 
Dinosir

Dino Draws Day 9: Here is a swoll I wish I knew anatomy What do you mean use reference pictures?! Reference pictures are for the weak!

 
chlmera

I almost forgot to say that the HBO Watchmen looks absolutely fucking incredible

 
Riff Raff

Dont even try to top Not possible!

 
Flanx

My dream console would be a Vita 2 with a sensible storage medium and actual Theres nothing you can do to change my

 
chlmera

I just saw a leak that claimed there are 5 possible lesbian relationships in Fire Emblem, and only one with two Hopefully not true, but makes sense given the fetishization of lesbian women and the grosser elements of the previous

 
Churros89

Dilemma: Im really enjoying The End is Nigh and Im nearing the end, but playing just 15~30min a day is feels like it is taking sure if I actually finish it or if I call it the day, watch the ending on YouTube and play something else

 
JcDent

Politics is when people who dont look like me appear in media and that makes me Women are tyranids, btw

 
ScionVyse

My next video is up! This time Im talking about Bastion! Give it a watch and tell me what you think! One last bump for the

 
TheBlondeBass

Hey guys! I figured Id give yall a status update about the past few couple No bad news, thankfully! Details in the AMA if you want to! Edit: BUMP

 
 

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