dark        
 
 

#Also cocks


 photo

Fruit Ninja Kinect unleashes my ninja penis

I refused to rearrange my living room to play Fruit Ninja in my girlfriend's tiny San Francisco flat, so after a few failed attempts at calibration I just jumped behind the sofa, causing my body to turn into a floating severed torso.  ...

 
 
 photo

When eroges get motion controls

According to Maniac, the Japanese developer Tech Arts is working on a title called 3D Custom Girl, which will be released at the end of October. The women present in the game cover pretty much every single Anime cliché in the book. T...

 
 
 photo

Skyrim demo sends woman into labor

[Update: Chaz and Stevi joined us in the Outer Heaven chat last night (Chaz has been following Destructoid for years) and we got the chance to talk with the soon-to-be parents. Because of the pregnancy, the wedding (planned for this past we...

 
 
 photo

Octocock

Ladies and gentlemen, it would appear that The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D will feature Cthulhu's penis as a regular enemy. 

 
 
 photo

The future of features on Destructoid

As some of you know, I love to write features on this site. It’s kind of my favorite thing ever, outside of dolphins ... or Showgirls ... or punching old ladies in the face. Well, you get the point. I love writing features. Because of...

 
 
 photo

The Elder Scrolls V: Penisfinger

Thanks to the Destructoid community blogs, I now cannot look at this formerly beautiful screenshot of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim without seeing a terrible truth. That truth is the unquestionable penisfinger standing proud on the end of tha...

 
 
 photo

Destructoid shirts will protect your torso from sun rays!

Sun rays are bad! Didn't you know? The government secretly created videogames to keep people inside and away from the sun after all. Still, you sometimes have to leave the the house for things like candy brain fuel. Lucky for you, Destructo...

 
 
 photo

Hey! Watch this episode of This Week in Videogames!

Last week I was a guest on web talk show This Week in Videogames. I am not posting this video of the episode to put the focus on me – I can’t even watch myself on video for more than five seconds without throwing up. I really w...

 
 
 photo

Here is Sega's game machine, control it with your pee

I don't know who it was that came up with the idea to paint a little fly or dot or target on the inside bowl of your average public urinal, but he (or she) was a genius. It took advantage of man's need to urinate, and combined it with man...

 
 
 photo

Tune in to GameTrailers TV tonight to see me NAKED!

Not really. I have a t-shirt on. I just can’t wait for my parents to Google my name and see that headline show up in the results. But I will be on GameTrailers TV tonight! I was one of the “gaming experts” (fan...

 
 
 photo

Gather around old man Niero: Destructoid turns four

Friday night, 11pm at the Destructoid + Astro party:   "HEY! HEEEEY! SHUT UP! YOU! QUIEEEET!" Then, again, somehow in unison: "SHUT THE F**K UP! WE'RE GOING TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT!" (Here's the party in pictures) Today marks a...

 
 
 photo

Gears of Whores is a real thing and is utterly dismaying

"Finally, porn for the XXX-treme gamer in you!" Not my words, but the words of GearsOfWhores.com, a new Web site dedicated to gamer porn. Of course, by gamer porn I mean, "low budget porn stars doing their normal sex but wearing headsets wh...

 
 
 
 photo

Analyzing No More Heroes 2, part 1: The bosses

[These posts on No More Heroes 2 are purely speculation. I have no idea what the team at Grasshopper Manufacture intended for the game to mean; I can only speak to what I've taken away from it, so if you don't enjoy potentially bullsh*t int...

 
 
 photo

Jeff Minter pitches Video Game Hero

Space Giraffe developer and notorious industry whingebag Jeff Minter has been hard at work on a new game that he is hoping to pitch to Activision. Not really, but his idea for Video Game Hero could be a pretty good prospect nonetheless. Sur...

 
 
 photo

Genitals ruin Christmas with help from PSP

Shon Goodman of Omaha, Nebraska thought he had his holiday shopping all worked out when he picked up the used PSP at a local store. Little did he know that the handheld contained a horrible secret that would destroy Christmas for his ten ye...

 
 
 from  our Community Blogs
 photo
From our community  

Handys X-mas X-travaganza begins now!

[Handy created this awesome Destructoid themed Christmas poem! Merry Christmas from everyone at Destructoid!] It’s that time of year again. The time of year when we forget about all our problems and just try to enjoy ourselves for one...

 
 
 photo

ESRB: Dante's Inferno contains demon penis

Oh yes, it's that time again! Time for another brilliant ESRB rating. We've had Street Fighter IV's flexed gluteus, Mass Effect 2's future blouse, and Final Fantasy XIII's breast side portions. Now the ESRB has given us the most amazing men...

 
 
 photo

The return of the F**khead: No More Heroes 2 ESRB listing

We haven't heard too much about No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle lately, which had me worried that the game wasn't going to make its January 2010 launch date. Seeing the ESRB rating for the game has put those worries to rest. Unless the...

 
 
 photo

Tim Langdell is a dick, indies respond...from the EDGE

Tim Langdell, founder of EDGE Games and former IDGA board member, is evidently not a big believer in freedom of speech -- at least, not in respect to the word "edge."  After managing to remove Mobigames' EDGE from the iPhone app store ...

 
 
 
 photo

Katamari Forever launch trailer is ... uh, yeah

I'm sure you all remember the first trailer for Katamari Forever that Joseph posted a while back. It had a monkey in it, which is really the only reason I remember. Above, you'll find the new launch trailer for the game, which also features...

 
 
 photo

Penultimate experience in gaming arrives in Love Death 4

You knew it was coming. You knew that one day man would devise a way to control videogames with his penis. We think with it most of the time. Most of the games we play have something to do with proving who has the bigger wang, and let's not...

 
 
 photo

Nier Replicant will be getting sexy hermaphrodite fun

Nier Replicant has been revealed has been revealed as a PS3-exclusive version of Square Enix's upcoming action RPG, while Nier Gestalt will be an alternative Xbox 360 version. We don't yet know if the two games will have some form of intera...

 
 
 photo

Send a greeting with some Dissidia flavor

Have you been stuck sending greeting cards without Final Fantasy characters all over them? I know, me too. It's a tough world for us gamers. A world in which we are forced to send electronic greeting cards without our favorite Final Fantasy...

 
 




EG: Shopping & Readership Survey

Tell us about your hobbies and shopping interests, enter to win an Amazon gift card:

Reviews   filter by...

Samurai Shodown V Special (PS4)"When I say, 'Who's the master?' you say?"

 

West of Loathing"Wicky wicky wild wild west"

 

Atomega"Stunted growth"

 

Preacher (Season 2)"Adapting the unadaptable"

 

Pokken Tournament DX"Rokken like Pokken"

 

Mother!"Mother of god this is pretentious"

 

Hiveswap: Act 1"Horny trolls and swapping souls"

 
 
 

Community Blogs | expand

 

Quickposts expand | +quickpost

able to think

Bloodborne Hunter figma is up for preorder! (link in comments)

 
Chris Moyse

I killed a giant creature in MH: World, and triumphant music played whilst its babies mourned the are you supposed to feel TERRIBLE while playing :(

 
gajknight

Im feeling this sick drop Mr Krabs

 
MetemNight

Holy crap, The Tick turned out I need CLIFFHANGER!

 
BigDoniel

I hate planes, so obviously Im thrilled at the prospect of a 7 hour flight with a Going to land

 
bong264

#UserObservationToid Greenhornet214 loves good food and can make a mean Note to self: expand my recipe

 
FakePlasticTree

Really looking foward to this

 
ZombZ

Important labelmaker update: Today I spent an hour replacing all of the labels in my boss’s office with the same ones, but in Comic I’m literally trying to get

 
Chris Moyse

be still my beating

 
whatsacow

New Song! kinda political but

 
 

Upcoming

More Previews
 

Destructoid Originals

More Originals
 
 
 
BACK NEXT