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Comments of the Week

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#81 - The dragon becomes me!

How are you folks doing? Good? Well, it's about to get even better, because I'm here.

Welcome back to Comments of the Week, your weekly excuse to come and see the glory that is me. In addition to my handsome mug and amazing sense of humor, you can check out all of the best comments said by fellow community members such as you! After all, isn't Destructoid the best damn community in the entire internet?

Of course it is, because I'm here. Anyway, as always, comments are placed into three lovely categories:

TRUTH: semen travels at an average of 28 miles per hours.

LOL: and here I thought submarines move faster than that.

WUT?: is there a word for reverse innuendos?

If you missed last week's edition, then you must be starving! Why don't you check out what happened last time on Comments of the Week right here, then double up with this tasty meal when you're done?


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From EA, Lucasfilm shut down Star Wars fan game



Dreamweaver: Good thing it's a galaxy far, far away.

From Five Nights at Freddy's: Sister Location drops this October



Dreamweaver: I'd rather play "Five Nights at Freddy's Sister".

From 'Other surprises' in store for NX, says Ubisoft


Dreamweaver: Why don't they just fuck already?

Dreamweaver: Yep, that sounds like NeoGAF.

From Seaman creator Yoot Saito is getting back into gaming


Dreamweaver: We're all semen creators (women give birth to men too!).

From People thought Capcom was teasing Dragon's Dogma 2, but it's just another smartphone game


Dreamweaver: Ay dios mio!

From Final Fantasy XV has a mystery season pass and man I'm sick of these


Dreamweaver: That's also why nasty hookers are still in the market.

From Gone Home studio takes its voyeurism to space


Dreamweaver: Doesn't quite roll off the tongue.

From XCOM 2 console editions delayed by nearly a month


Dreamweaver: XCOMe on.

From For all its changes, Resident Evil 7 still has healing herbs


Dreamweaver: I hate every single one of you. Especially you.

From Prince Ali, mighty is he, now on GOG




Dreamweaver: I think it just got gay in here.

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From Gal Gun: Double Peace rated 'E' for 'Sexual Content'



Dreamweaver: No, E's look like blocky boobs from the side. M's look like point boobs seen from above.

Dreamweaver: Not me. :(

From Review: Xbox One S


Dreamweaver: The car is the hero we deserve, but can't afford right now.

From Review: Abzu



Dreamweaver: I abzulutely hate you.

And I stole your pun.

From Sex offenders in New York are now forbidden from playing Pokemon Go


Dreamweaver: Because they had to PokeGo to another state.

From Japanese Olympian got a $5,000 bill playing Pokemon Go in Brazil


Dreamweaver: Who the hell is that guy, and why isn't my face on the bill?

Actually, nevermind. I'm worth more than that anyway.

From Report: Nintendo will have a new NX Mario and Pokemon within 'six months' of launch


Dreamweaver: Carter got harder.

From Nintendo Download: Pokemon Ranger: Shadows of Almia


Dreamweaver: She could shove a baton up my baton.

From Criminal Girls 2 denied rating (and release) in Germany



Dreamweaver: One of these days, that joke's going to get old.

But not today.

Dreamweaver: I found out the hard way that no retail stores in America sells Gal Gun: Double Peace, even GameStop.

What are we, some pansy country like Germany?

From Niantic issues another statement on tracking and closure of cheating sites



Dreamweaver: Looks like my odds of not getting laid as I grow older.

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From Struggling to catch Pokemon in Go? There's a 'bug'



Dreamweaver: I thought we were the demons?

From These new Pokemon Sun & Moon forms are freaking me out


Dreamweaver: I don't get it, so that must mean it's a work of art.

From Nintendo gently reminds us it's closing the DSi store forever


Dreamweaver: No, you are wrong. It's DSiWare shop, but I can see how you can get that confused.

Looks like he needs a DSeyewear shop, am I right?

Dreamweaver: What you gonna do now!?

(I hope he opens the can. I always wanted to see what canned industrial strength whup ass looks like.)

From BioWare is shutting down all its forums outside of Star Wars: The Old Republic


Dreamweaver: It was infested with werewolves.

From Mobius Final Fantasy is out now in the west


Dreamweaver: The violent version of Peewee's Playhouse.

From Niantic denies reports of a wild Pokemon Go Articuno



Dreamweaver: It's still not a Moltres, but at least it's dinner.

From I bought one of those Z-Ring hunks of plastic for Pokemon Sun & Moon, help


Dreamweaver: I'd shove it into a woman's vagina so we can have glow-in-the-dark sex.

From Nekro's Quickpost


Dreamweaver: 7/10 - Too much Nekro, not enough Dreamweaver.

And that's it for this edition, folks! As always, be sure to comment down below and let me know which ones were your favorite... one-liners by me. Because, because that's why we're all here, right?

 

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Dreamweaver
Dreamweaver   gamer profile

If you want to know more about me, you can check out my contribution to the "10 things about ourselves" blog, that Mr. Andy Dixon asked us all to write as well as any other personal blogs here:  more + disclosures


 


 



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