Squenix Online Store opens US branch, in response, America opens a Starbucks

Square-Enix is a company waist-deep in adorable mascots and eyeball-deep in Japanese folk who, instead of eyeballs, have constantly rotating, glowing dollar signs (yen signs?). As such, the good folks at the Squenix Maibatsu have decided to fulfill the lifelong dream of Colette Bennett by opening an American branch of their online retail outlet.

Often referred to as the Amazon.com of Mog vibrators, the Squenix store should serve as your first destination whenever you need to buy a birthday, Christmas or Bat Mitzvah gift for that cute girl down the lane who eats lunch alone and stares longingly at stylized illustrations of Trent Reznor.

[Via Game|Life

About The Author
Earnest Cavalli
I'm Nex. I used to work here but my love of cash led me to take a gig with Wired. I still keep an eye on the 'toid, but to see what I'm really up to, you should either hit up my Vox or go have a look at the Wired media empire.
More Stories by Earnest Cavalli