Site maintenance will continue through the night, expect a few reboots


Don't download the Pokemon Go: Darwin Award DLC

[Update: Sunday's maintenance is going mind-blowingly well, as we've had very little downtime.  You may still experience some slugginess on the hour as we replicate to the new servers, but it should clear up by Monday.  Thanks for braving this with us and making Sunday suck less!]

Do you know what sucks? Marriage. Marriage is the worst. No matter how much quality time, quiet conversation, compromises and money you spend on your significant other it eventually becomes a slow-moving, short-tempered, smelly, nasty, high-maintenance baby after a few years. I've been married many times ... to a few web servers, so I should know. Actually I've never been actually married because I'm one of the lizard people and Elon Musk forbids us.

Destructoid will be down tomorrow because we have to babysit one of these bastards for extended maintenance to make the site faster for future generations of Dtoider babies. We'll be back on Monday unless one of these pussies throws another fit.

You should go outside tomorrow and try to not fall off a cliff. We'll be back on Monday.

Here's a tour of what my room looked like when I was in high school, except that mine was made out of stolen wooden palettes:

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Niero Gonzalez
Niero GonzalezMeat Vessel   gamer profile

I keep Destructoid weird. Also I'm a playable character in Retro City Rampage, look: (along with the whole 2009 Dtoid Editorial team) Sometimes I have a villainous mustache My dog CoCo chec... more + disclosures



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