Oh Jesus, what’s happening? It’s all gone corporate now, has it? Is nothing sacred? Why is this on the front page? I’ll tell you why. Because … well, ok, I don’t really know why. But I know it’s Friday. It’s also about to be my birthday, and there’s a NARP that’s about to bust out of its cage tonight. It will be my last Baltimore NARP as a Baltimore resident.
This city’s afraid of me. I’ve seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters, and the gutters are full of Slurpee, and when the drains finally freeze over, all the hons will drown. The accumulated filth of all their Natty Boh and crabcakes will foam up about their waists; and all the rockabilly girls and sailors will look up and shout, “Save us!” And I’ll look down and whisper …
So yes, I suppose this is officially a front page column now. That won’t change anything. In fact, there are some new episodes of Usavich floating around, so I’m even gonna kick this bitch off proper-like.
UPDATE: Protips and FAQ
For those of you who might be unfamiliar with Ready to Friday, here’s how it works: Today is Friday. You like Friday, yes? Me too. A lot. Each week, I will help you kick off your Friday festivities by posting whatever random nonsense tickles my fancy at the moment, and together we can celebrate this glorious occasion in preparation for the fine weekend that is almost upon us.
Q: What is this, I don’t even …
Q: This was a cblog thing. Why are you crapping up the front page?
A: Niero asked me to. I dunno either. Try not to think about it too much.
Q: What do I have to do?
Q: Um … this isn’t news, what do you think you’re …
A: You’re doing it wrong.
Q: What kind of dog is that?
A: It’s a Shiba Inu.
Q: I don’t get it.
A: Give it a week or two. You’ll get the hang of it.