READY TO FRIDAY

Pssst … Yeah, c’mere. Sup. Is the boss in yet? Okay, good. Listen, you know that poster in the breakroom with the ducks on it, right? Yeah, well, Adam Dork taught me this trick where you stack two spoons together, see, and … well, it’s not important. Long story short, I’ve been digging a tunnel behind that duck poster for a couple years now, and when the big man heads into his office, I’m bustin’ outta here.

You can follow me if you want. The tunnel’s got some rats in it, though, so you might want to bring a stapler or something. Just in case, man. I’m just saying. Calm down. It leads across the street to the storage room at Bath & Body Works. Ask for Julie. She’ll smuggle you out and then you can meet me around the corner and we’ll get a 40 and some sandwiches. Sound good?

There are only a couple more episodes of Usavich before the video quality turns to shit, so expect something different in the coming weeks. Now go, venture forth into the weekend and don’t look back. FRIDAY.