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07-27-2016

Pokemon Go

Sure, you've got your local gym on lock with a devastating Kabutops, your place of employ fortuitously is dropping lures like stacks to bring in the foot traffic, maybe you've even laid some pipe with the Pokemon Go dating app.

But have you almost decapitated a Squirtle with your vagina?

That's the question posed by the "Pokemoan" line of the Etsy shope GeekySexToys, which has about 100 of these handmade silicon toys left in stock. There are three starter Pokemon dildos -- Bulby, Charmy, and Squirty -- and a Pikachu tail butt plug. I like the Bulby, which "has a large seed tip making it a very pleasurable friend to have," mostly because there's just a nutsack at the end of it. And the Piky because who doesn't want to fuck a yellow mouse?

May your next Pokemon Go dick appointment be blessed with a rat tail in the bum.

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