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07-24-2016

Pokemon Go

Following a seemingly endless supply of stories about Pokémon Go players hurting themselves, getting into accidents, and wandering into places they shouldn't be, developer Niantic announced today an update for the popular app that will give players some fucking common sense.

“When we developed Pokémon Go we figured people would be intelligent enough to play it smart and safe,” said company spokesman Brandon Bush. “Boy were we wrong. Clearly, we underestimated just how stupid mankind is. I mean, did you hear about the woman who got stuck in a tree playing this? How the fuck do you do that?”

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