[Editor's note: XL1ska talks about how he puts on a performance for his friends for his Monthly Musing piece. -- CTZ]
I’m that douchebag. That annoying prick that makes you want to end your life every time you play Xbox Live. I am the reason Xbox Live is a completely unfun and terrible place to interact with others. But I don’t care, because I AM HILARIOUS. Well, not really. Allow me to explain.
Every weekend, I go to my girlfriend’s best friend’s house with my lady. Ryan, the husband of the friend of the girlfriend, is a pretty big gamer, so we’ll typically sit down and play some Smackdown vs. Raw or some Left 4 Dead. But the ladies, they do not like that. They can only have girl talk for so long before they want to leave us both and start scissoring far, far away from us gents. It gets boring watching two guys play games together.
Now if it’s a normal game with nice people just trying to play a game, we get the hell out of there. We look for the rooms with the most agitating, immature, and, well, Internetty people we can find. Young kids, ignorant rednecks, Internet tough guys, whatever kind of people that would piss off any normal person in a round of the Duty. Then I get into character.
Ryan plays, kills people, does his thing and I’ll pretend to be one of many characters. I’ve taken on the role of a morbidly obese Christian (part of the MOC support group, a group of morbidly obese people who love Jesus), a horny Italian named Tony, a Post Office worker named Bruce who is infatuated with getting free root beer floats at Wendy’s, or my personal favorite, a concerned Jewish father named Herschel.
And it gets people LIVID. These people take all their name calling, their faggot slinging and their “I fucked your mom”-isms, and turn it all towards me. Hearing these people who piss me off so badly be the ones getting pissed off is absolutely hilarious. And what’s more hilarious is when people think any one of the characters I’m doing is legitimate. They think that I REALLY AM a 42-year-old root beer float enthusiast, or that I REALLY AM a concerned Jewish father trying to find out of Call of Duty 4 is appropriate for his son by playing the game. The reactions we get are great, and we’ve even gone so far as taping it one night.
Here is us playing as Derek, the singer/guitarist for fake pop-punk band Don’t Kall the Kops. Complete with my New Found Glory/Simple Plan shitty nasally pop punk voice and super lame lyrics, I was able to freestyle a song about eating a lady out on her period (NSFW language ahead).