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01-22-2018

SOS

I am not the funny friend. I'm not a performer, either. In any social situation, I'm good for either two half-decent jokes or one drunken cover of "She Hates Me" if I can get my hands on a karaoke mic. Suffice to say that whatever muse inspired history's greatest poets decided not to visit me.

But here I am, a few seconds away from making my introduction on a reality television show. Well, it's a fictional show inside of a video game called SOS. But still, the pressure's on. The other contestants introduce themselves with goofy impressions. Their avatars gesture and wiggle, miming actions with comedic timing that tease bits of their in-game personalities. Some of them are bringing baggage in the form of backstories. I'm up next and already sweating my two seconds of fame. I want the crowd to love me. I want to win the game.

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